Greetings Jabronis,
Is it fair to refer to a PPV as “Extreme Rules” in the midst of this PG-era? Seems a bit like false advertising to me, considering matches are abruptly halted if a drop of blood becomes visible these days. The ghost of ECW is surely violently spasming in its grave. “Not Very Extreme Rules” would surely be a fairer title.
I’m a little miffed as to why ShowMiz v Hart Foundation isn’t on the card – especially considering that The Miz is the most entertaining guy in the company right now (if you disagree, I will fight you)… But I guess it’s likely down to the volcanic ash disrupting RAW. Hopefully they’ll pick back up on the Bret Hart/ShowMiz storyline next week – because, lord knows, RAW needs some entertaining storylines right now.
I don’t have particularly high hopes for the PPV… It’s mostly all matches that we’ve seen before (in some cases – many, many times) but I often find that when you go into these PPVs with low expectations you can emerge at the other end pleasantly surprised. Let’s hope that’s the case here – because hope is important (I read so on a movie poster once).
CM Punk v Rey Mysterio
Before this week’s RAW, my pick for the win without hesitation would have been Punk here (largely due to Rey’s rumoured extended break for knee surgery)… But seeing as the wee Mysterio already took a sizeable chunk of hair from Punk this week, the straight edge star would seem destined to get the snip here. I see no need for him to sacrifice a significant portion of his hair if he didn’t already intend to have his head shaved.
I like CM Punk, I really do, but I’m already growing a tad tired of the repetitiveness of The Straight Edge Society… hopefully the pending draft will somehow inject some new life into the stable.
Pick: Rey Mysterio
Edge v Chris Jericho
This will surely bag the honour of match of the night as both guys will be gunning to steal the show after being kept away from the title picture.
Jericho needed a big win going into the PPV, so losing cleanly to rookie Heath Slater this week wasn’t the right booking decision – particularly when one must already be assuming that Edge will pick up the win here. Jericho won at ‘Mania so it’s Edge’s turn to win here – and that’s solely what my prediction is based on.
I don’t think that will be the end of the feud though. I’m predicting one final PPV match in order for there to be an outright winner.
Pick: Edge
JTG v Shad
Most folk will obviously see this as toilet break time, but hey, at least it’s refreshing to see some different talent getting a chance to shine on PPV. The pair are obviously gonna be on different shows after the draft (I’m predicting Shad goes to Smackdown) so I’m guessing whoever gets the win here will go on to receive a singles push on their respective brand.
I think WWE have put more effort into developing a gimmick for Shad (“It’s my time!” – maybe he could borrow HHH’s old entrance music?) and this, couple with his size (never forget then Vince lurves his big men) makes me think that he’ll be the one getting the rub. Despite the fact that he’s the lesser talented of the two I hasten to add.
Pick: Shad
Michelle McCool v Beth Phoenix
I can’t even pretend to care. If I try, I get nosebleeds. Sorry.
Pick: Your Momma
John Cena v Batista
Poor, old Batista – for months now, he’s been telling anyone who will listen that he’s got a movie project in the pipeline and that he’s gonna be a mega Hollywood star… But now WWE have totally pulled the rug from underneath him and handed the role to HHH instead.
If the reports are true, Batsta is understandably pretty pissed about the development. But this could mean that he’ll no longer be taking a break this year – and maybe, just maybe, to appease his crabby mood the title will be coming back around his brawny waist.
I know that the most folk out there are swaying heavily in favour of a routine Cena win and retain here… And maybe I’m slightly delirious through sugar deprivation having not had my Lucky Charms today… But I’m gonna gun for The Animal to pick up the surprise victory here.
Pick: Batista.
HHH v Sheamus
Similar to the Jericho/Edge match – seeing as HHH picked up the win at ‘Mania, it’ll be his turn to stare at the lights for his buddy in this bout.
I also expect some sort of injury angle will occur, seeing as HHH now needs to take some time off to shoot the movie that he swiped from Batista. I don’t foresee this being an entertaining brawl at all (matches involving Sheamus never are) – but it’s sure going to be fun seeing the two hit each-other with sledgehammers without any bleeding occuring. It’ll be just like Mortal Kombat on the Super Nintendo (that comparison will be lost on younger readers).
Pick: Sheamus
Randy Orton v Jack Swagger
Could Jack Swagger really be dropping the title already, making his reign perhaps the most pointless and pathetic in WWE history? What the Hell was the WWE thinking by putting the title on him and then having him embark on somewhat of a losing streak?! It makes the title seem like a joke and makes me seriously wonder what kind of half-brained ass-hats are being paid to book such nonsensical crap.
It’s a tough match to predict, but I’m gonna go with Swagger out of hope more than anything. If he does however drop the title to Orton, The All American American’s career will have taken sustained a serious scar, and it’ll be tough for audiences to take the talented youngster seriously again for a long, long time.
Pick: Swagger
