Greetings jabronis…
I’m being lazy this week – partly as there is little going on in the WWE right now for me to feel inspired enough to wrote a column about it and partly because, well, the lazy thing that I mentioned. I was gonna scribe a column upon Drew Mcintyre, but his Smackdown “suspension” sort of threw that off track so I’ll wait and see how that plays out before I publish that muse. One suspects that Mr Mcintyre may well have violated the Wellness policy…
So instead, here I present a bunch of my favourite quotes from the world of wrestling. These aren’t just a list of catchphrases, but a collection of great insights, killer one-liners, cock-ups and inspirational wisdom. Enjoy….
I can’t jump high so I jump from high places
Mick Foley
So you like picking on women, huh? So why don’t you pick on me?
Kevin Nash (evidently confused about his gender) to Test
Heenan: That’s my second favourite song.
Monsoon: I’m almost afraid to ask. Whats your favourite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
Bobby Heenan commenting on Hulk Hogan’s entrance music
I would rather hurt a man than love a woman
Mick Foley (as Cactus jack)
Hardy Boys, Boyz with a ‘Z’. Is that Z supposed to scare us or something?
Christian
What are you talking about you frosty haired reekazoid?
Christian to Michael Cole
As times goes by, as times goes by, they say “he’s washed up”, “he’s finished”, “he’s a loser”, “he’s all through”. You know what? The only one that’s going to tell me when I’m through doing my thing is you people here.
Mickey Rourke as “The Ram” in the movie The Wrestler
God, this is Billy. I just won the King of the Ring, but everyone still hates me because I absolutely suck!
The Rock
I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn’t count.
Kurt Angle
Undertaker, if that is your real name…
Kurt Angle
I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I’m embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it.
Torrie Wilson
Wrestling is ballet with violence.
Jesse Ventura
The only reason you were WWE Champion for almost a year was because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays.
Paul Heyman to JBL
I have balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you’ll be spitting out the seeds!
Vince McMahon
The frequencies in my head are not known to normals…
Ultimate Warrior, hitting the nail on the head
Girls, you can’t be the first, but you can be next.
Ric Flair
I’ll kick your teeth so far down your throat you can chew your own ass up for pissing me off
Undertaker
I hope the US loses the war in Iraq. And while I’m at it, I think the greatest country in the world is France, what do you think? And you know, truth be told, I’m not a very big fan of the black people. And if I could go back in time, the one person in history I’d like to make tap out would have to be… Jesus.
Kurt Angle
That’ll make your back crack, your liver quiver and your knees freeze.
Dusty Rhodes
You’ve got a lot of class, and it’s all low.
The Rock
Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.
Roddy Piper
This is what we thought was John’s room but there was wrestling boots and since John can’t wrestle I wasn’t sure.
Edge (at John Cena’s home)
I have resolved to wake up an hour earlier each day so I can hate you just a little bit longer.
William Regal
If you want to see Chris Jericho drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo-a dee-dee-dam dee-dee-doo.
Chris Jericho
I can’t believe I found someone in this company whiter than I am!
Kurt Angle to John Cena
You’ll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.
Roddy Piper
I find too often in the wrestling business, you just wrestle, get to the hotel, make your money. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself to enjoy my life and not just rush through.
Owen Hart – tragically
I’ve heard Flair say it a million times, Shawn at WrestleMania 10 went out and had a match with a ladder, there just happened to be another guy in the ring with him.
Shawn Michaels
What is the point of calling yourself the best if you truly don’t believe that in your mind?
Bret Hart
Sodas rule!
Edge and Christian
