Greetings jabronis,
Straight off the bat, I have to profess my love for Money in the Bank matches. Once in a while, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to put traditional in-ring action to the back of your mind and let your mushy brain indulge in an unapologetic, chaotic spot-fest littered with crazy stunts, sick bumps and death-defying leaps. I’m fully expecting at least one of the two MITB matches on the night to deliver exactly that … I bet you can guess which one.
With just five matches unveiled as I write this (and one of them being a pre-show bout), WWE seems intent on putting the spotlight on the world title belts and their respective briefcases this weekend. And I have no problem with that.
I fully expect a handicap match pitting Ryback v Hawkins & Reks to be added to the card on the night, because we all know that audiences fork out their hard-earned bucks on PPVs in order to see Ryback squash matches… But that’s a digression for another day.
Do you want to know my predictions? Huh? If so, well done. You’re in the right place. Onwards!
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R-Truth and Kofi Kingston v Hunico and Camacho
Despite Titus O’Neil and Darren Young earning themselves a shot at the tag titles a few weeks ago, it’s Hunico and Camacho who get the nod here. Maybe Abraham Washington isn’t quite the awesome manager he claimed to be?
But I do believe WWE is prepping The Prime Time Players for a run with the belts in the near future. This is just a match to emphasise the ability of Truth and Kingston so that, when they do drop the titles, it’ll be perceived as more of a bigger win for the young bucks. Have Truth and Kingston even got a team name yet by the way? Or was that cancelled with the likelihood that Kofi will be tagging with someone new again next month?
Hunico and Camacho are agile fellows and this will no doubt be a lively opener to provide the foreplay for the live audience… But the result can only possibly go one way.
Pick: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
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Sheamus v Alberto Del Rio
This will surely be the PPV opener, and I anticipate it being a lengthy bout with some hard-hitting power moves and plenty of near-falls as WWE tries to sell the fact that Alberto Del Rio is now a gutsy badass and not a whiny bitch.
I hope the evolution of Del Rio as a “ruthless aggressor” doesn’t lead to him parting ways with Ricardo Rodriguez. If I had my way, Rodriguez would be installed as the permanent RAW GM this month … because he’s absolute comedy gold within an industry where the comedy is generally embarrassingly awful. Jerry Lawler, I’m looking at you.
I think there’s life left in the feud beyond Money in the Bank, and Del Rio could well emerge from it with the title around his waist. But not on this night. No sirree. I’m predicting a Sheamus win here and a Summerslam stipulation rematch.
Pick: Sheamus
Daniel Bryan v CM Punk
I’ll admit the love triangle has been mildly entertaining at times and AJ has certainly done pretty great with her time in the spotlight – and also it’s difficult to moan about a feud between two guys who constantly give us quality matches.
What I will moan about though is that AJ has totally overshadowed the fact that this match is for the WWE title, and also that CM Punk has become a bit of a pussy.
Eve was certainly onto something with her dig at Punk on RAW this week. He IS constantly overshadowed by others on RAW – be it HHH, Big Johnny, Brock Lesnar or John Cena and his current target of crap jokes. The fact is, a CM Punk match hasn’t closed a PPV in months, and this just isn’t right. Nothing else on WWE TV should overshadow the World title.
What’s even more depressing to me is to look at what has become of CM Punk’s character. Twelve months ago, he was the saviour of WWE. His cool, cutting edge promos, anti-kayfabe behaviour, vicious manipulation and superb wresting ability made him the most over guy in the entire industry. Today, he constantly makes references to the “WWE Universe”, resorts to lame humour that’s not too dissimilar to Cena’s and finds himself being played for a fool by a little girl on a weekly basis. This wasn’t supposed to happen!
The love triangle needs to end here and Punk needs to seek to swiftly regain the mojo that he’s been shedding heavily of late – or he’s in danger of becoming irrelevant to the main event scene. Despite picking Bryan to win in the last two PPVs, I’m siding with Punk here, and then hopefully he can move on to a feud that can compete with HHH and Lesnar in the build to Summerslam.
I’m optimistic Eve’s comment was sowing the seeds for something bigger that Punk will address next week… because the resonance of truth in what she said is undeniable.
Pick: CM Punk
Sin Cara v Cody Rhodes v Christian v Damien Sandow v Santino Marella v Tyson Kidd v Tensai v Dolph Ziggler
This has the ingredients to be a JR-certified slobberknocker. It has the perfect mix of size and strength; of young guns and veterans; of high-flyers and technical profiency; of force and flashiness. Hell, it even has the perfect balance of heels and babyfaces!
I could evaluate each guy and state what I think their chances of claiming victory are… But I think that would be boring to read. So I’ll just cut to the chase and say what I suspect most other are saying and that is that Cody Rhodes and Dolph Ziggler are head and shoulders above the rest as the favourites here.
Many are pointing to Tyson Kidd as being a dark horse, and whilst I’m sure he’ll be looking to steal the show, I’m more eager to believe that he’s only featured here as some visual stimulation for this traditionally high-flying spectacle. I’m expecting innovative things from him (and Sin Cara) on the night – and whatever goes down on the PPV, I’m sure we’ll all be talking about his “stunts” the next day more so than anything else. God speed, Tyson.
But picking a winner… I’m leaning slightly more towards Cody Rhodes. Ziggler is already pretty close to breaching the main event bracket and has challenged for a world title on two PPVs already this year. Thus, he doesn’t really need the briefcase to smash the glass ceiling… He’s already significantly cracked it and will smash it completely in time. Rhodes requires a little more help from a sledgehammer, which we can symbolise metaphorically with the briefcase. Hooray for metaphors!
With RAW soon moving to a 3 hour format, WWE needs more top-tier stars to fill the airtime so, to me, it makes sense to fashion a main eventer out of some young blood, and Rhodes has all the requirements. He’s a decent talker, a very able and adaptive worker and has the good looks that so easily makes male audiences dislike his heel persona. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that his father is The American Dream. If Rhodes keeps hold of the briefcase for a few months – constantly teasing when he might cash it in – audiences will have little choice but to perceive him as a main event star.
Of course, WWE has been known to throw a few shock results at us courtesy of Money in the Bank matches before. I bet very few predicted wins for Daniel Bryan or Jack Swagger in the past. If you claim you did, then you’re a dirty, rotten liar.
So I wouldn’t be too surprised if WWE does throw a surprise at us… If that makes sense. But in making a prediction based on logic and a process of elimination, Cody Rhodes is my man.
Pick: Cody Rhodes
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Kane v The Big Show v John Cena v Chris Jericho
I’m sure many share the same sentiment when I say that I’m a bit underwhelmed by the fact that this MITB only features four guys. The pull of a MITB match is seeing a clusterf*ck of guys smashing the hell out of each other as they scramble for the title contract. Four guys just doesn’t seem enough to make that happen.
If WWE strictly wanted to keep the contenders here as ex-WWE champs, I don’t think it would have been a big ask to bring back Rey Mysterio and/or The Miz in time for the PPV, or even thrown HHH into the mix to make up the numbers. Or it could have been fun to see someone like JBL or Mick Foley given a shot to continue the theme of returning wrestlers as we head towards the 1000th RAW. But hey, these are all irrelevant ideas now as the fatal four way has been seemingly set in stone. I apologise for wasting your precious time with my “what ifs…”.
Jericho and Kane seem to be background characters in this one with the storyline telling us there’s only two guys who can win it. So, again, unless WWE surprises us with a, er, surprise, it’s gonna be The Big Show or Super Cena who will be living the US Airways Center with a shiny new briefcase.
Because The Big Show is boring as hell, and not well equipped for a ladder match, I’m siding with Cena for the win.
Rather than cash in the briefcase in some dastardly manner when CM Punk has crashed and burned, I foresee Cena declaring his intentions to challenge for the title honourably at Summerslam. Then hopefully a feud between the two can recapture some of the white heat that trailed Punk when the two clashed 12 months ago.
Pick: John Cena
Those are my picks, jabronis. Please add your own below, I love it when you do.
As a bonafide treat for all Sky Sports subscribers in the UK, this PPV in available for free in the wee hours of Monday morning. How wondrously wonderful!
I intend to write a piece before the 1000th RAW airs highlighting my all time favourite RAW moments. So keep your eyes peeled for that if ya like.
Over and out.
