Bingo’s Breakdown: Night of Champions 2014 Predictions

WWE Night of Champions 2

 


 

Greetings jabronis,

Apologies for my abnormal silence over the course of the last month, but I have a very good excuse indeed. You see, I became a brand new Daddy just a couple of weeks ago and have my first, very own Hulkamaniac to raise and nurture. He’s awesome (like Mike) and wonderful (like Mister) and all that gubbins, but I won’t bother you with any more baby talk as the last time I checked this was still a wrestling website, and not a baby mooching forum.

I want to share with you my predictions for the imminent Night of Champions PPV … and so I shall. This will be a little snappier than normal (I have a very small window in which to write this!) but be assured normality will be restored once my paternity leave ends next week.

So Night of Champions (which is powered by Mountain Dew apparently. Like gasoline?) has a very busy card indeed – as well as the return of The Peep Show (hooray!) as a pre-show segment. My thoughts and predictions are where? Here…

Randy Orton v Chris Jericho

Another Chris Jericho run seemingly comes to an end here – and I think it’s fair to say that it’s been his most unmemorable to date. Although he selflessly strived to put over rising megastar Bray Wyatt, their matches were very plodding and forgettable and, in truth, have done very little to raise the profile of the WWE’s cult leader… Who worryingly finds himself without a PPV match here for the first time in many months.

I’m glad the Wyatt/Jericho feud culminated on RAW as a third outing PPV from the pair would have been overkill, considering their quality (or lack of).

Instead, Randy Orton is handed the honour of earning a pinfall victory before over Y2J his next exodus, which I’m fine with. After putting over Roman Reigns, The Viper needs a meaningful win under his belt to remind us all that he’s still one of the big boys.

I’d like to see a heel Jericho on TV next time he decides to grace us with his presence. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that he’s been very vanilla indeed on TV in recent months – and lacking in that creative spark that he usually carries with him. At least he’s bringing my favourite guy Christian back into the fold as a parting gift.

Pick: Randy Orton

Randy Orton 4

DIVAS TITLE MATCH
Paige (c) v AJ v Fake Boobs Bella

WWE certainly seems to think that there’s more mileage in a Bella Twin feud, so I wouldn’t be overly surprised to Fake Boobs Bella win the belt here, thus putting more at stake as she continues to feud with her sister, Natural Boobs Bella.

It’s just a shot in the dark though. The booking in the Diva’s division seems to have been even more erratic than ever since Paige defeated AJ the night after Wrestlemania – and thus all 3 involved here have an equal chance to score the victory. Or maybe Harvey Wippleman will make his triumphant return on the night to dominate the division once again.

In the meantime, WWE seems to be doing (another) lesbian angle, this time between AJ and Paige. Whilst such lame attempts to score ratings amongst excitable young boys doesn’t impress me – it’s interesting to see WWE moving slightly out of the shade of its PG umbrella. If Vince promises HLA on next week’s RAW, the good times could be set to return!

Pick: Fake Boobs Bella

Bella Twins 2

US TITLE MATCH
Sheamus (c) v Cesaro

Cesaro pinning Sheamus in a 6 man tag on RAW this week should be a big enough clue that Sheamus retains here. Lose on TV, win on PPV so the formula goes.

Often I forget that Sheamus is capable of having damn fine wrestling matches (because they’re not massively regular) – but thankfully Cesaro is one of those opponents who clicks with the Ginger Fella, and if given a decent amount of time, we could have a dark horse for match of the night on our hands.

Pick: Sheamus retains

Sheamus 2

IC TITLE MATCH
Dolph Ziggler (c) v The Miz

The Miz portraying a cocky, self declared ‘big shot’ actor works so well. It’s the character he should have always played. Instead, he’s essentially wasted nearly 2 years of his career playing an awkward, sarcastic babyface that audiences were never gonna cheer for. Also, in Damien Sandow, he has the most entertaining sidekick in the entire business right now. The way he shouted “action” before interfering in The Miz’s match on RAW a couple of weeks genuinely had me cracking up.

I had Ziggler penciled in for the win here, but after he pinned Miz clean on RAW this week I’m not so sure (see aforementioned formula above).  The IC belt changes hands so often in the modern era that it’s difficult to predict when a change could occur.

But I’ve read rumours that a Bray Wyatt v Dolph Ziggler feud is on the cards, and for that reason I’m picking Ziggler to retain. The two hot-shots would surely deliver some high-caliber wrasslin’ action… And one would have to assume it would give Wyatt his first taste of WWE gold that he so richly deserves.

Pick: Ziggler retains

Dolph Ziggler IC Champion

Rusev v Mark Henry

This one is simple. Rusev isn’t being pushed as an unstoppable monster only to be thwarted by an out-of-shape veteran who spends 6 months of every year out with injury.

When Rusev does suffer his first clean pin/submission defeat it will be to someone on the roster much more relevant than Mark Henry. Quite probably someone whose initials are JC and whose names rhymes with Don Weiner.

Pick: Rusev

Lana-Rusev

TAG TEAM TITLES
The Usos (c) v Stardust and Goldust

I love the heel Rhodes Brothers. They’re just so damn creepy now – especially Stardust – almost like they’re rejects from a twisted Tim Burton tale or something.

I also doth my cap to The Usos. They’ve had a marvelous run with the tag titles and have earned the ‘match of the night’ nod on more than one occasion in recent PPVs. But I think a change is afoot here. The Rhodes Brothers seem like a fresh act (despite the fact Goldust debuted 19 years ago!) following their turn, and some more gold to go with their shimmering attire seems like just the ticket.

It’s the only title switch I’m confident of happening on the night. I feel it in my bones and organs. And testicles.

Pick: Goldust and Stardust win the titles

Stardust

Roman Reigns v Seth Rollins

Of course, we’re all thinking the same thing here. Why oh why did this match happen for the very first time for free on RAW just 6 days prior to their PPV bout? … And given a clean finish to boot?!

It’s bizarre booking and a question that only HHH or a McMahon could ever truly answer. Maybe they just want the PPV to do poorly? The fools!

The only possible reason I can conjure up in my wee mind for giving Reigns to decisive win on RAW was because a screwy finish is going to occur here. So I’m going for Kane and/or Orton to interfere in the match, leading to Dean Ambrose making his return and saving his buddy – perhaps setting up a 3 on 2 handicap match at the Hell in Cell event next month.

Pick: Roman Reigns wins by DQ

Roman Reigns 3

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Brock Lesnar (c) v John Cena

John Cena cannot win. He just can’t. It would suck so much ass.

Lesnar ended The Undertaker’s streak that dated all the way back to Wrestlemania 7. He then proceeded to destroy Cena in a PPV main event the likes of which wrestling audiences have never seen before. It was bold and brave booking and a match that will be remembered for a long, long time.

If the point of all that was only to have the incredibly stale Cena make a comeback and defeat the unstoppable beast, then WWE truly would be the stupidest company on earth. Cena is the last person on the roster – beneath even The Great Khali – who should benefit from a win over Lesnar.

Lesnar has rightfully been positioned as a behemoth wrestler with no equal – and his reign as champ needs to be lengthy one, regardless of the fact that he’s not contracted to appear on RAW every week. When Lesnar is finally defeated (and hopefully I’m talking about something that is months away yet) it needs to be someone young and talented with an undying penchant for the business; someone like Reigns, Rollins, Wyatt or Ambrose.

If Cena does emerge victorious, I fear the backlash would be colossal. I pray the booking team isn’t gonna be that dumb. Whilst I understand that Cena can’t be brutally squashed again – and I do expect a far more resilient display – Lesnar pinning him cleanly again is surely the correct call here.

Pick: Brock Lesnar retains

Michael Cole and Brock Lesnar

Those are my picks jabronis, please add your own below. I loves if when you do, I does.

This PPV is one of the “freebies” here in the UK, so I will be watching it for sure – along with my shiny new son. Looking at the card, WWE has the potential to deliver a damn decent PPV here, and I shall thusly be approaching it with much optimism. Let’s hope my hopes and dreams aren’t crushed.

Over and out.

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