Greetings jabronis,
So Night of Champions is upon us– the only PPV on the wrestling calendar that sees every belt in the WWE put on the line. But these aren’t just any belts you understand – these belts are pretty and shiny and have the holder’s name engraved on it and everything! And the only way to get your hands on one of these belts is to beat the holder irrefutably in the middle of the ring. Or you can just buy a replica from WWEshopzone. Whatever’s easiest for you.
It’s a pretty packed card, which I always like to see (as long as the right matches are delegated lengthy amounts of time) so without further adieu, if you would care to cast your gaze below, you will find my predictions. Gnarly!…
Kofi Kingston v Dolph Ziggler
Remember just a few months ago when Kofi was in an excellent feud with Randy Orton and was being strongly tipped as the next breakthrough main-eventer? WWE really dropped the ball on that one.
Kofi is energetic, athletic, vibrant and has a look kiddies perceive as cool – and he also has youth on his side, so I’m sure he’ll get another chance to shine in the future, but at the moment he sadly emits the aura of a perennial mid-carder.
I expect Ziggler to pick up the victory (with one of his god-awful finishers. Which is worse – the Zig-Zag or the sleeper-hold? It’s a tough call) and will continue to stake a claim as an upper card performer via his association with Vickie.
Pick: Dolph Ziggler
Daniel Bryan v The Miz
If this match can get 15 minutes, I fully anticipate it being match of the night. Daniel Bryan is a superb performer and The Miz seems to be improving every facet of his already impressive game with each passing week.
I foresee Daniel Bryan Danielson (to give –what I presume- is his full name) picking up the US Title here – and hopefully we’ll then be treated to some regular stellar matches on RAW involving the somewhat redundant title. The gradual diminishment of the belt has nothing to do with The Miz as a wrestler, obviously- but rather because the fact that it is NEVER on the line. Has The Miz even defended it since he last won it? I certainly can’t recall if he has. But then, I inject copious amounts of heroine on a regular basis, so my memory is hazy at best.
I don’t think The Miz will find his waist empty of gold for very long though. That rather fetching briefcase of his may well have a part to play later in the night I feel…
Pick: Daniel Bryan
Hart Dynasty v ???
So very prestigious are the tag titles considered, that a match hasn’t even been announced for the card yet. That’s magnificent booking, WWE – well done! Presumably the team of Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes are favourites to make an appearance, but we shall have to wait and see.
Personally I’d like to see some of the lesser used tag teams get some PPV time, perhaps in a fatal-4-way elimination match (yep, there really are other tag teams lurking on the WWE roster – honest!) but the chances of that happening are admittedly slim. I’ll update this article if/when opponents are confirmed – because that’s just the kind of upstanding citizen that I am.
Even though an opponent isn’t confirmed, I’m gonna say that The Harts lose the belts here. WWE evidently isn’t particularly high on them as they’ve largely been booked as glorified jobbers in recent weeks. That’ll teach them.
Pick :???
Melina v Lay-Cool
Melina portraying a face character is perhaps the dullest thing I have seen on TV this year. Her bland promos make the tele-shopping channels seem like high-octane viewing.
Management is reportedly high on Lay Cool (They may be a rip-off of The Beautiful People, but at least they aren’t bland, I guess) and The Undertaker lets of one of them share his coffin with him, so they’re my pick for the win.
That’s all I’ve got to say about this one because discussing women’s wrestling makes me feel a little suicidal.
Pick: Lay-Cool
CM Punk v Big Show
So at Night of Champions, CM Punk will face The Big Show to once and for all decide which one of them is the champion of… Ummm… Haircuts? Rubbish tattoos? Biscuits? Who knows?!
The Big Show has embarrassed (literally) Punk and his SES far too frequently in recent months. I’ve made no attempt to hide my general dislike of The Big Show in the past, and thus I make no apologies in labelling his squashing of the SES in a handicap last month as a booking so baffling retarded that it caused me to kick my Granny in the head. I was that damn angry.
Punk is long overdue a win in this feud, and hopefully a pinfall for him will put it to bed. There are so many better opponents for Punk on Smackdown, and his talent shouldn’t be wasted on comedy bouts with the sluggish behemoth. I have no personal problem with Big Show as a human-being, I’m just mighty fed up of seeing him stink up wrestling matches with his appalling offence.
Pick: CM Punk
Undertaker v Kane
This surely HAS to be the last time we ever see the faux-brothers feud… But sadly, as a result of that, I can see this feud being prolonged and rather dull.
The Undertaker still has gas in his tank, and Kane is a consistent performer if nothing else (consistently mediocre that is) but the truth of the matter is, the two of them have never produced what can be deemed a decent match when facing off against one another. And now with Father Time knocking on each of their doors, I believe the likelihood of that changing here is incredibly slim.
Of course Kane is gonna pick up the victory here, and that makes sense from a booking point of view. He’s been cleverly booked as the more dominant of the two, and The Undertaker is gonna have to wait a few more weeks until he proves him wrong. Many of us also feel that The Big Red Retard deserves a long-ish run with the strap having starved of it for so long during his long-run in the WWE.
I fully believe that The Undertaker will strip Kane of the title eventually though – possibly as late as the November PPV (which seems quite a way off considering there are two PPVs in October. Way to milk your product, Vince!) The reason for my thinking? November 2010 will mark exactly 20 years since The Undertaker made his debut in the WWE. How poetic. Narf.
Pick: Kane
Sheamus v Jericho v Cena v Edge v Orton v Barrett
I always have a problem with matches that involve large amount of wrestlers (such as 6-pack challenges or money in the bank) because after the first couple of minutes, the matches are generally reduced to two guys taking it in turn to be in the ring whilst the rest lay outside the ring, totally overselling a move that would normally only stun them.
To be fair to the WWE though, the match has been changed to feature an elimination stipulation, so hopefully this should only be a noticeable issue in the early stages of the match.
Jericho certainly isn’t winning here, so this may well be the last we see of him for a couple of months (Fozzy tour I believe?) but he will inevitably be back. The guy is at the top of his game and it’s easy to see how much he enjoys performing for the WWE, and he has a good few years left in him yet.
The match has been booked in way that makes us believe that only Cena or Orton are capable of winning… And I think that will indeed be the case. I’m gonna side with Orton (because Cena, more so that anyone else, doesn’t need another pointless addition to his world title tally) for a very short reign, as The Miz will cash in his briefcase and steal the strap.
I think there’s a very good reason the match was changed to an elimination match at such short notice, and that was to make way for The Miz. Think about it – it would have been difficult for him to cash in the briefcase and have a “match” whilst five fallen wrestlers still lurked in the vicinity, but with just one man left standing and the area cleared of all other wrestlers, the situation is perfect for The Miz to strike
Pick: Orton (quickly to be dethroned by The Miz)
So there are my picks. As ever, please feel free to add your own below. I love it when you do – it gives me a warm feeling in my womb area. If I had a womb.
And a quick reminder that, once again, this PPV will be available to view for free for everyone that subscribes to Sky Sports. How incredibly fortuitous we are.
Over and out.
