Greeting jabronis,
I wish a happy new year to each and every one of you out there. Even the ugly ones. I sincerely hope you have a truly special 2012 because you deserve nothing less. Unless you’re a murderer or a burglar or something – in which case, why not see the new year as the time turn over a new leaf? Huh? It’ll make you feel all warm and gooey inside. I guarantee.
Now, I had planned on writing a 2011 Awards column, but quite frankly, the outcomes are all so predictable. Wrestler of the year, Feud of the year, Tag team of the year etc are all categories littered with such limited picks that all of y’all out there have probably read several incredibly similar articles in recent times that I didn’t feel the need to subject you to such matters once again.
So instead, I present to you a few foresights for the year ahead in WWE. This is me gazing into my crystal ball in a Santino-esque manner and predicting some of the sights us wrestling fans will bear witness to over the next 12 months.
So, without further adieu…
Who will become World Champion in 2012?
I’m talking specifically first-timers here – and the name that everyone is gonna spout first is Dolph Ziggler. I predicted he would be headlining PPVs in 2012, but honestly hadn’t anticipated him getting the opportunity so soon, and the booking of his Royal Rumble scrap against CM Punk will tell as much as to how serious WWE are with regards to cementing him as a main eventer.
Ziggler has it all; Natural heat, a stand-out look (all hail bleach!), very commendable in-ring skills and some laugh-out-loud idiosyncrasies. Who doesn’t adore that headstand he uses as a taunt? Genius.
Of course, Ziggler won’t be winning at the Rumble (CM Punk will surely be rolling into Wrestlemania as champion), but a confident PPV outing come January 29th could well see him become a regular fixture on the main event scene, and I certainly see a world title run for the cocky upstart before the year ends.
Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett are another two names that are frequently uttered along with “future champion”. Whilst I’m a fan of both (particularly Rhodes), I don’t see a world title run in the immediate future for either just yet. They need a few big wins and some eyebrow-raising PPV performances before they’re ripe. Maybe another 12 months down the line their time will be nearer at hand.
Perhaps slightly less obviously, I’m looking at Brodus Clay to make a major impact this year. Just look into the past at Love Machine Viscera, Akeem and Rikishi to see how much Vince enjoys giving a dancing fat man a push. Although the gimmick reeks of “mid card”, I’m kind of glad we weren’t treated to another ho-hum monster heel gimmick… and instead have a monster dancing babyface gimmick. Brodus may not have a world title run in him over the next 12 months, but I believe he has the charisma to get the gimmick over, and thusly I see him keeping a constant spot in the upper mid card through 2012.
Who will steal the show at Wrestlemania?
Of course the pop for The Rock as Wrestlemania will be brain-explodingly deafening, and whatever goes down with Cena will no doubt earn the WWE plenty of coverage in the mainstream media in the days that follow, and steal all the headlines.
But when the dust has settled, and fans have had the chance to fully absorb the spectacle, will The Rock’s performance be remembered as the highlight of the card? Yours truly says no.
I’m a major fan of The Rock and (as I’m gonna be in attendance) I too will be on my feet hooting in cheery delight as he makes his entrance. But I think someone else will be looking to steal the show. Their names? CM Punk and Chris Jericho.
I think WWE did some serious arm-twisting to bring Jericho back, and I’d assume that Y2J will have a big say in what he does in the coming months. Realistically, there’s only 1 match that’s big enough for the Big Mouth at the Sundown Arena, and that’s a world title showdown with CM Punk – as the return vignettes hinted at.
CM Punk too needs a big opponent. His stock has risen so rapidly in WWE in recent months that he’s surely second only to Super Cena in the eyes of the WWE bigwigs, so I fully expect the match-up to be nailed on at this point. Punk v Jericho will be fresh and flamboyant with a build-up surely full of frolics – and I am already well and truly salivating over the kind of match these two can and will put on.
CM Punk v Chris Jericho will see the two best in the world doing what they do best. And Wrestlemania will belong to them.
Will Kharma save the Diva’s Division?
The WWE women’s wrestling scene is beyond a joke, and anyone that claims otherwise is either deluded or sleeping with one of the divas (in which case, I commend thee). And whilst I’m looking forward to Kharma’s return later in the year, I’m not ready to believe that a single competitor can save an entire division. Matches pitting Kharma against Natalya (who’s swiftly become just another jobber) and Beth will no doubt be entertaining – but where can Kharma take the division beyond that?
I fully expect Kharma to make a major (second) impact and make the Diva’s title mildly interesting once again… But WWE needs to look to employing way more women with actual, genuine wrestling ability if they ever want to audiences to take the title seriously.
I’m fine with The Bellas, Askana, Alicia etc being employed as valets or on-screen characters… But wrestlers they ain’t.
Will there be any big returns to WWE in 2012?
I don’t see The Hardy Boys ever returning to the WWE. Jeff, and particularly Matt, simply won’t be welcome in a company that is now very smug and proud about its PG moniker. The pair’s well documented drug issues and constant bizarre and retarded behaviour on social networking sites has made them a laughing stock in the industry, and they’ve burned many bridges with actions that only they themselves can be held responsible for.
One return that I’d very much like to see to WWE shores is Kurt Angle. Apart from HBK, he is this writer’s all time favourite – and it kills me to see him continue to ride with the same second-rate company year after year. One last run in the WWE for the gold medalist would make me a very happy boy indeed. This is a wish rather than a prediction though, and my instincts tell me the likelihood of it happening are slim at best.
Speaking of TNA employees, rumours are abound that RVD is heading back to the WWE when his contract expires in March, which doesn’t surprise me at all. RVD has an ego that likes to bathe in the biggest spotlight there is – a spotlight that TNA simply aren’t able to offer him with their limited exposure.
I can also see John Morrison returning to WWE later this year. I can appreciate that might not be perceived as a “big returm” to some, but I’ve always been a fan of Johnny – and a few months out of the business with a fresh gimmick upon his return could see him return with great gusto and finally recognise his full potential inside the squared circle.
And, of course, when speaking of returns we must speak of Brock Lesnar. His MMA retirement has made him a mega hot property in the wrestling industry – with the presumption being that he’ll look to take one more pay out whilst his name is still worth something. And why the hell not, eh?
I don’t see Brock ever returning to WWE full time, and I also don’t see him being part of Wrestlemania (it’s just 10 weeks away now and WWE already has its main events in place) – but I do think the big fellow could have a role at Summerslam. A match with The Undertaker would seem most likely given their history … but I get the feeling that his demands are gonna be incredibly high which could make Vince close his wallet and walk away in disgust before any deal with WWE can be reached. Lordy, I hope I’m wrong.
Will the tag team scene be resurrected in 2012?
In a word… Naaaaaaaah.
WWE seemed intent on revitalising the tag division midway through 2011. Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston’s ascendancy to the belts was treated as a big deal, with the pair constantly reminding us how prestigious the titles once were. And the team regularly competed on TV as a tag unit and everything.
But, before you could say “Air Boom is slang for fart”, those days met a sorry demise. There hasn’t been a proper tag title match in months (Bourne’s wellness suspension, and subsequent finger pointing at R-Truth over “special cigarettes” couldn’t have helped matters) and the resurrection has fallen by the wayside in a way we’ve seen oh-so-many times over the years.
Other than Air Boom there are just two other tag teams on the roster – The Usos and the newly paired Epico and Primo. Whilst all three tandems are young and exciting talents, three tag teams does not a division make.
If WWE truly wants to make the tag scene matter again, I’d take a look at all the under-utilised talent on the roster and make genuine tag teams out of them. Gabriel and Slater have done the square root of f-ck all since going their separate ways, so why not reunite that pair? Ricardo Rodriguez has plenty of in-ring experience, so him and Del Rio as tag partners could bring some humour and a much needed spotlight on the title belts. Why not pair a youngster, such as Tyler Reks or Johnny Curtis, with Foley? I’m sure the Mickster would enjoy a run as a tag team champion requiring minimum in-ring work. And, of course (this is becoming a regular request in “Bingo’s Breakdown”), please put Goldust and Booker T back together for Gawd’s sake, WWE. It’s what the people want! Also, The Headbangers and The New Age Outlaws both seem up for a return match. Even if it’s just a one shot deal, a spot of nostalgia might serve to remind audiences just how great the WWE tag team scene once was – and could be again.
These are all ideas for tag teams I’ve plucked from the top of my misty brain in a matter of seconds – and they all seem do-able to me. So presumably a WWE writer, who is paid thousands to come up with such similar ingredients, would be able to conjure up something even more magnificent to make the tag belts matter again.
But I simply don’t see it. Come January 2013, the tag division will be in exactly the same state it is right now. And, if I’m right, WWE should strongly consider doing away with the belts altogether.
***
That’s all from me for now, jabronis. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with my Royal Rumble predictions.
A chum of mine has managed to obtain me some TNA “fan interaction” tickets which allows us to meet the wrestlers when that “other crew” perform in Wembley, London later this month – so I may well post a column on that too if any newsworthy stories emerge from it. If I get to meet Brother Ray, I’ll be sure to ask him if he’s upset that Randy Orton labelled him a “fat piece of shit”.
Over and out.
