Greetings jabronis,
The Survivor Series will always hold a special place in my cold, black heart as it marks the anniversary of me losing my WWE PPV virginity. The Survivor Series 1990 was the occasion in question – which featured the debut of The Undertaker no less. What a lucky boy I was.
Back then, the Survivor Series was a big deal, as seeing virtually the entire roster broken up into 4/5 man tag teams was a funsome and unique occurrence that allowed viewers to witness something very different to their usual WWE “names against jobbers” TV output. However, as the industry has evolved, and the continuous need to develop and further storylines has become the driving force of the business – the PPV has somewhat lost it prestige with the elimination tag matches having been scrapped altogether on occasion, thus making it feel like “just another PPV”
A lot of people still like to refer to it as one of the big four, but I don’t think it deserves that billling. Wrestlemania, Summerslam and Royal Rumble are the highlights for most, and those PPVs can sell pretty damn well off their name value alone. The Survivor Series doesn’t quite fit in the same bracket. it’s like the fat, spotty kid who tries to hang out with the cool crew.
But hey, it’s still a long-withstanding event, and I’m all for tradition so despite its drop in prominence over the years I’m glad it’s still here – and it’s titillating to see a traditional elimination tag match feature prominently on the card, wouldn’t you agree? Hmmmm?
Six matches have been announced as I type this. I anticipate a tag match pitting Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara (those masked bastards) against The Prime Time Players on the night (or perhaps in a fatal four way along with a couple of the other teams on WWE’s ever-expanding tag team roster) but nothing is set in stone yet. So think of it as a sumptuous surpise if it is sprung upon you.
If you’d care to cast your glance onwards, my predictions are laid bare for all to see….
YOUTUBE MATCH: Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd v 3 Man Band
The problem with being a 3 man outfit in the WWE is that there aren’t any other 3 man outfits who you can naturally feud with… Thus meaning that one of the trio has to sit out during tag team matches. Step forward Drew McIntyre – whose in-ring time doesn’t seem to have improved one iota since 3MB came into existence. Poor jock. (Yes, I’m aware Drew’s mother passed away last week – and I of course offer my deepest condolences to him – but he’s been the “spare wheel” of the trio from the outset.)
3MB seem to be on the receving end of a mini-push, whilst Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd rarely break away from their “jobber to the stars” status … Thus the winner of this one should be pretty straightforward.
Pick: 3 Man Band
US TITLE: R-Truth v Antonio Cesaro
Whilst I enjoy the work of both chaps involved here – this bout doesn’t real have an aura of PPV calibre about it… You catch my drift? It feels like it should be a YouTube preview match at best.
But I understand that WWE is looking to reaffirm the US title as a meaningful belt, so I give you my word that you’ll get no further gripes from me on the matter.
There is no way that WWE will be looking to undo the hard work done by Antonio Cesaro in recent weeks by stripping him of the title – so he with the big nips will surely reign victorious here.
On a slightly different subject – I was fairly surprised to see Tensai being the guy to put over R-Truth on TV this week. Maaaaan, has Albert’s stock ever plummeted massively since his return. It’s hard to believe he scored a pinfall victory over Cena just a few months ago.
Pick: Antonio Cesaro
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Eve v Kaitlyn
The build up to this match involved a number one contender match just 6 days prior to the PPV that lasted less than one minute (and yet still somehow managed to feature four pin attempts). Pathetic. Groin-achingly pathetic.
The diva’s division is beyond meaningless, and putting garbage like this on PPV is an insult to the fans who fork out their hard-earned cash to watch WWE PPV events. As you can likely tell, the current diva’s division really boils my piss.
Pick: Nobody cares. The audience loses for being subjected to this.
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Team Foley v Team Ziggler
It was pretty shocking to see this match undergo a complete overhaul in the space of a week. Regular readers of wrestling dirtsheets will have heard countless times over the years that Vince is prone to changing his mind and altering long term plans in a heartbeat… So let this instance serve as hard evidence that these stories are indeed very true. Vince felt that a tag match headlining a PPV where the WWE title could not change hands would not draw buys (and he possibly had a point). Hence the overhaul. Why he gave the original match the thumbs up in the first place remains a mystery. I guess he saw it as an easy way to keep Punk as champ for another month, before remembering that title matches should always headline PPVs. But be that all as it may – this is the match we have now, and the team line-ups are still very strong, says I.
I’m a big fan of Mick Foley, so I’ve been jolly happy to see him regularly feature on WWE TV in recent weeks. It’s a crying shame of course that he won’t actually be competing at Survivor Series. I know that The Mickster’s body is, shall we say, “battered to shit” at this stage of his life – but I felt a 10 man tag would surely have been the ideal environment for him to get involved in things whilst having his obvious limitations masked by the 9 other guys involved. Alas, it wasn’t to be.
There are whispers circulating that Foley will throw himself back into the ring for a match at the TLC PPV next month – possibly against Ziggler or Punk. But I think if Foley is too out-of–shape to wrestle in a 10 man tag match, the chances of him performing in a singles stunt match on PPV are mighty slim indeed.
I’m siding with Team Foley to win here simply because I foresee Foley somehow getting involved with earning his team the win – perhaps by unleashing Mr Socko on Ziggler or something along those lines. Definitely not by throwing himself off a cell structure though.
If you want to twist my testicles and get a more specific answer from me, then I’ll go for Randy Orton and The Miz (now in face mode!) to be the survivors.
Pick: Team Foley
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: The Big Show v Sheamus
I think very few wrestling fans out there picked The Big Show to with the World Heavywieght Title at Hell in a Cell last month. In fact, this brave author went as far as stating that The Big Show would never be champ again. I guess he sure showed me.
It’s great that WWE can still provide a surprise title switch on occasion – and I was kinda glad to see Sheamus finally lose the belt (because his reign as champ was so freaking dull)… But in my list of WWE Superstars I’d like to have seen win the belt from Sheamus, The Big Show would have been second from the bottom – just above The Great Khali.
But hey, I’ll admit that Big Show and Sheamus totally delivered last month, and their match was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. Can lightning strike twice? We shall see, jabronis.
I see this feud lasting into another PPV yet, so I’m going for The Big Show to retain (perhaps by DQ). A final showdown between the two should occur at TLC, when I expect Ziggler to emerge with the title in the aftermath – but I shall expand upon that idea next month.
Pick: The Big Show retains
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WWE TITLE: CM Punk v Ryback v John Cena
Credit where credit is due – despite his limtiations as a performer, Ryback is over with wrestling audiences in a major way. He only has to hunch one of his freakish shoulders a couple of times to get the crowd chanting “feed me more”. Of course, there’s no telling how long this explosion of popularity will last – but I’m a firm believer of striking whilst the iron is hot, so I think’s it’s the right decision to have him challenging for the title again.
For any performer to achieve a one year reign as WWE champ in the modern WWE is one hell of an achievement – and thus I’m convinced that the WWE booking team won’t be looking to rob CM Punk of that chance when he’s just one day away from the goal. I anticipate a screwy finish, which will likely see Ryback protected and Cena taking the pinfall (that’s a strange sentence to wrote… Perhaps Super Cena isn’t so super anymore?).
One scenario I’ve envisaged is Brad Maddox having an impact on the outcome. Sure, he failed to win his $1 million wrestling contract on RAW this week, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still employed as a ref, right? So what if the regular ref is laid out, a new one is called for, and Mr Maddox makes his way down to the ring to once again aide Punk in retaining his title. This scenario would certainly lend weight to Brad’s off-camera conversation with Heyman earlier in the week.
Of course, Maddox may well have to sell the beatdown he received from Ryback , so maybe he’s ineligible be back on WWE TV as soon as this Sunday. But I certainly don’t think it’s an impossible scenario, no sirree. But if this doesn’t come to fruition – there are countless other ways that CM Punk can weasel his way out of this one. And weasel he shall.
Pick: CM Punk
Those are my picks jabronis, please add your own picks below – I love it when you do.
Looking over my picks, with the possible exception of the traditional Survivor Series match, I’d assume that a huge portion of wrestling fans will be making identical predictions. Let’s hope that the outcomes are not as straightforward as the event suggests on paper, and WWE throws us a few surprise bones to gnaw upon. Who doesn’t love a bone now and then? Huh?
Over and out.
