Greeting jabronis,
This week I am casting each of my lovely blue eyes over The Nexus group. I like you, so I’ll be honest with you from the outset – I’m not a fan of The Nexus. You see, I’m deeply troubled by the fact that a group of wrestlers with limited talent have been handed a prominent role on RAW whilst a plethora of genuine talent in the company (Christian, Morrison, Regal etc) languish in midcard limbo.
To get it out of the way – I’d also like to express my displeasure over the release of Daniel Bryan. It was a retarded decision for a retarded mistake, and yes, Nexus has suffered as a result of his dismissal, considering he was the only one capable of performing anything beyond a 3 minute match. But I don’t wanna dwell on what could have been, so you’ll hear no more on the subject from me. In this column at least. Narf.
The idea of a takeover angle appeals greatly to me. Despite the shortcoming of The Nexus group, I have to admit that the WWE have played it pretty well so far – much better than the WCW Invasion a few years back anyway (although, in all honesty, the only way the WWE could ever do a takeover worse than that is if RAW was overthrown by a midget wrestling federation… Geez, I just hope the WWE booking team isn’t reading this).
So as far as takeover angles go, I’m completely cool with it. The Nexus has been promoted as a genuine threat and it’s brought some fresh faces to a tired looking roster. My problems lie elsewhere. Elsewhere, in this instance, being a bunch of green wrestlers dominating the most watched wrestling show in the world…
The 14 man tag match at Summerslam will keep each of The Nexus’ in-ring time to a minimum (which is exactly why it is 14 man match). But what happens beyond that? The Nexus can’t exist as a unit forever and dishing out 7 on 1 beatdowns every week will quickly become dull. It’s on the verge of it already.
Within the confines of the storyline, The Nexus members are rookies within the industry – but the fact of the matter is, this is an actual fact much more than a fictional trait. There’s a good reason that many of them have laid dormant in Ohio for years, and there’s an equally good reason why many of them were voted off NXT – because they simply weren’t good enough for the big boy leagues. Hence the format of that show. Duh.
So what can does each performer bring to the table? Be patient and I shall tell thee…
Wade Barrett
Management reportedly feels that Wade Barrett (along with Justin Gabriel) is the most likely to have a promising singles career in the future. And it’s easy to see why. He’s brilliant on the mic, he’s the size that Vince likes and he carries himself with real confidence.
However, Barrett’s first solo outing on RAW was nothing short of a disaster. Granted, Mark Henry is not the ideal opponent to carry a match – but any pro wrestler in existence should be able to work a botch-free 3 minute RAW match that has been meticulously planned – even if that opponent is a broom. Quite how Barrett and Henry emerged from the bout uninjured after Barrett botched his finisher is a total mystery – and if young Wade weren’t in the midst of a main event storyline right now, there would have surely been repercussions for his failure to protect Sexual Chocolate’s neck.
So the fact that Barrett is supposedly the standout performer of the group doesn’t bode well…
Justin Gabriel
Justin Gabriel has done even less than Barrett since debuting on RAW. Sure, we get to see his wonderful 450 splash every week – but one wonderful move does not a great wrestler make. Gabriel has the wrestler look, and is a handsome enough fellow to be a popular midcard face… But until I see evidence of a larger arsenal, I’m gonna have to reserve further judgement.
Darren Young
It’s incredibly freakish just how much this guy looks like a black John Cena. Sadly, that’s the only interesting thing he’s got going for him. His offence is comical and his hair is rubbish.
Skip Sheffield
Just… too… ugly.
Michael Tarver
Tarver does look like a genuine threat when he has neckerchief covering his mouth – kind of like he’d rape you in an alley and stick in a knife in your neck. But as soon as he removes his Mortal Kombat mask, he becomes as bland as the rest.
I liked the idea of him remaining totally silent and only talking with his fists, like when he refused to take part in the NXT promo challenge – but WWE decided not to run with that. Idiots. He’s probably one of the better in-ring performers of the bunch, but he has an undeniable aura of “meh” about him.
Heath Slater
Probably the blandest of the group. To be fair though, Slater seems adequate enough as a performer, and you can tell he tries his best when he’s on camera… but unfortunately for him, he has the charisma and presence of a dead wasp.
David Otunga
The absolute worst of the bunch. He turns like a bus, he looks lost in the ring, his facial hair makes me feel angry (I can’t explain why) and every time he performs that awkward chokeslam of his, I’m convinced that he’s broken the receiver’s neck – not in that sense that it looks believable, but in the sense that he’s a terrible wrestler. Despite his celebrity wife – he’ll be the first name from the group to be released – purely for the safety and well-being of others. I’d bet my granny on it.
So there’s your 7. Oh dear.
It’s puzzling to me why The Nexus members have spent less time actually wrestling than ever before since the close of NXT season 1. They rarely perform at house shows, they don’t feature in bouts on WWE Superstars, and they certainly aren’t getting a fair roll of the dice in the RAW ring. So it’s not totally their fault that they’re not developing and evolving as in-ring performers. The only real explanation is that the WWE has very little confidence in their ability.
Quite how this lack of confidence has warped into a main event spot on the second biggest WWE PPV of the year, I am at a loss to explain.
Of course, the most obvious outcome of the pending Summerslam match will be someone on the RAW team switching sides (gasp! He played us all along!) and costing their team the match. Edge and Jericho are the most likely candidates here – but how awesome would it be if it were John Cena? His character is so freaking stale, if would do absolute wonders for both him and The Nexus in regenerating interest. Sure, it might not make sense, but wrestling angles rarely do.
But if this outcome were to occur – the problem of the lack of talent in The Nexus will not be solved. Just because one of the group can wrestle – you’ve still got what amounts to at least 5 pieces of dead wood hanging on.
The only long term solution to the problem is to pack up the bunch back to FCW (again, with the likely exceptions of Barrett and Gabriel), and bring them back again on an individual basis when they’re more, ya know, pro. Much like what happened with The Spirit Squad. Hey, it worked for Ziggler and, er, Dykstra. Kind of.
Of course, there’s always a short term solution as well. If the WWE tires of The Nexus and wants to rid them from our TV screens pronto, which individual can they book like the second coming of Christ? Who can completely bury all the months of work gone into establishing The Nexus members as bonafide opponents in a heartbeat, and defeat all 7 men with his superhuman strength? I’ll give you a hint, his initials are HHH.
One final thing to add before I depart. If WWE had conjured up the NXT concept two years ago and played out the same takeover angle, we could have been looking at a Nexus group that consisted of the likes of Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Mike Knox, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and The Hart Dynasty.
If that were the case and this alternative timeline did exist (I also like to envision that I’m married to Anna Friel to this alternative realm) then I feel I would be writing a far less negative column pertaining to the Nexus.
Over and out.
