Bingo’s Breakdown: Where next for the Wrestlemania warriors?

Greeting Jabronis,

 


 

So April is upon us and Wrestlemania 26 becomes but a fabulous footnote in grappling history. The WWE trucks keep on rolling though and the countdown to Wrestlemania 27 commences with not even a stop to use the bathroom.

I’m gonna break my normal subject matter for this column and instead take a brief look at all the superstars who appeared on the Wrestlemania 26 card. Via carefully massaging my crystal ball, I shall reveal what I hope and what I see in-store for them over the course of the next 12 months. Who’s gonna make an impact? Who’s gonna job to Khali? Who’s gonna wind up in TNA? Who’s gonna take a crap in a diva’s handbag? Read on my friend, and my opinions shall be spouted…

I’ll do this is two parts. Part one starts at this time: Now

R-Truth – Does this guy officially have the most over entrance in the WWE right now or what?! It’s funny how things change… I recall during the final days of the Attitude era, virtually the same entrance (performed in tandem with Road Dogg) was universally puked upon by wrestling fans. Not anymore though. All hail the PG-era!

R-Truth’s stock has certainly raised on Smackdown in recent months and, despite being squashed in the elimination chamber, his run on the upper-mid card and been well received. However, a feud with John Morrison is almost certainly on the cards – and I’d bet my testicles that R-Truth will be the one who stares at the lights. I don’t see R-Truth ever rising beyond the mid-card because everything about him – his entrance, his look, his wrestling style, his age – makes him the epitome of a mid-card act.

WWE likes to keep a few experienced veterans on the cards and – along with the likes of Finlay, Regal and Chavo – R-Truth fits the bill. Whenever a younger guy needs putting over and made to look good, these reliable performers can always be called upon. And for that reason, I see R-Truth remaining on the WWE roster for a good while yet.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? Fifty-fifty

John Morrison – If the WWE waits any longer to pull the trigger on Morrison’s career, then rigor-mortis is surely going to set in their trigger finger.

Morrison is destined for the top in WWE. The retirement of HBK will most definitely aid his plight (given the absence of a “pretty boy” in the top bracket) – but a heel turn is absolutely essential in order for Morrison to rocket through the glass ceiling.

As I’ve said before in my column, Morrison is just too damn handsome to work as face. Massive portions of wrestling audiences are male – and males do NOT want to cheer on a guy that makes ladies scream. If Morrison can emulate parts of the HBK character from the mid-90s, the talented worker can be one of the biggest heels in the business.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? Bet your Granny on it.

Christian – Surely at (or near) the top of every wrestling fan’s “most under-used talent” list is Christian. Since returning from TNA, Christian was forced to languish on ECW for a ridiculous amount of time, and has now been saddled with a mid-card spot on RAW. Jobbing him out to Sheamus on his RAW return should tell you how Vince feels about him.

Like John Morrison, Christian needs to revert back to a heel persona that so naturally suits him (for me, he was genuinely the most entertaining heel in the entire industry towards the end of his first WWE run) because right now he just feels far too bland as a babyface.

I fear that Christian will never get the chance to have a sustained main event run in the WWE, due to Vince’s apparent dislike of him (according to reports, he has never seen anything worth pushing in Christian). This, coupled with the fact that Mr McMahon likely gets a kick out of punishing Christian for jumping ship to TNA, likely means like Christian will remain an “also ran” for the remainder of his WWE career. And this is a very sad reality indeed.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? Yeah, as a curtain jerker

Dolph Ziggler – Like Swagger (prior to Wrestlemania, anyway), Ziggler has been sitting at the bottom of the mid-card for months doing nothing of consequence despite an initial push. I’m all for de-pushing someone if they don’t have the talent… But more and more frequently WWE seem to halt the pushes of rising stars for no good reason (Also, see: Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder).

Ziggler has enough wrestling ability and charisma to deserve a higher spot on the card, but until the likes of Rey Mysterio and Edge are willing to give him a big win, it’s gonna be difficult for him to shift out of first gear. Could be a tough year for the young gun – especially if he has to keep working matches with the not so great Great Khali.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? If he still has a WWE job, then yes


Shelton Benjamin –
Benjamin will surely go down in history as the most under utilised wrestling talent ever. The dirtsheets will tell you that it’s his own fault – due to a lack of eagerness and willingness to evolve – but regardless of whether that’s true or not, it’s still a crying shame that a guy of suck awesome ability has never main evented.

Every year seems the same for Shelton. He bounces around on the mid-card – shines with a few memorable matches to remind everyone what he’s capable of – then enters MITB at Wrestlemania where nobody realistically believes he can win. Do I expect this year to be any different? Not really. Other than there will be no MITB on the Wrestlemania card next year… so his payday could be in jeopardy.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? Tough call


Kane –
Kane is the absolute definition of a company man. He portrays his monster character with believable enthusiasm, is able to work with anyone, occasionally jumps into the main event when required to and never complains when he has to put over other talent.

For these reasons, Kane will have a job in the WWE for as long as he wants one. Nothing about Kane has changed in years (apart from the ridiculous amount of times he transcends from heel to face and back again) and this time next year, he will still be performing the exact same act in the exact same position on the card.

Will he be on the Wrestlemania 27 card? Hell yes

MVP –  When MVP first jumper to RAW in Summer 2009, it seemed his character was in-line for a monster push. He picked up a couple of big wins, got over with some new catchphrases and crowd interactions and became a WWE media darling through his association with some lady from a US chat show who I’d never heard of.

Things rapidly went downhill though. Lumbered with the crowd-killing Mark Henry wasn’t his fault and he tried to make the best of a bad situation… but his “white bread” face character became just far too dull for anyone to care about. His biggest downfall though has been his public criticism of WWE’s marijuana policy. What on earth was he thinking?! For that reason alone, he’s gonna remain the McMahon Black Book for the rest of his career.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Doubtful

Drew McIntyre – Apart from the main eventers, Mr McIntyre must have the safest job in the WWE at the moment. He’s been fully endorsed by HHH, HBK and Vince McMahon and is still just 24 years of age.

I’m glad he didn’t win MITB this year. There’s no need to give him a rapid push. He needs to make his rise to the top gradual so that he can earn the respect of the masses along the way. Like it or not, Mcintyre in likely gonna be a fixture on WWE programming for the next 20 years.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Absolutely, positively, definitely

Matt Hardy – Truly the Mr Bean of WWE, Matt Hardy just bounces from mishap to the next, always trying to make the best of a bad situation. He’ll always be over with the crowd due to his ties to the Attitude era and his more popular brother, but he’ll always be down with management due to his “I’m Matt Hardy and I deserve push” attitude. Matt Hardy’s biggest fan will always be Matt Hardy.

I expect another 12 months of relative nothingness from Matt Hardy. I don’t anticipate WWE ever releasing him, for if they did he would surely jump ship to TNA for a reunion with his brother Jeff – and that’s a rating boost that WWE most definitely does not want to hand them.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Probably

Evan Bourne – Little Bourne didn’t shine as much in the MITB match quite as much as I was expecting… But what he did, he did well and he certainly didn’t do his position any harm. Not that he had much of a position to begin with.

Nobody needs to point out to them that Evan Bourne is small. Not just by wrestling standards, but also by human-being standards, and thus he’s likely never gonna rise above the opening act spot as long as Vince “I love big men” McMahon remains in charge.

His youth and agility make him a perfect candidate for TNA’s X-Division, and thus I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if they reach to poach his talent in the near future.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Nope

Cody Rhodes – The least charismatic of The Legacy trio, Cody Rhodes will have his work cut out for him now that he’s out there on his own (at the time of writing, it seemed Legacy, even as a tag team, was no more).

Of course, his good friend “Nepotism” will ensure that his job with WWE is safe, but he’s gonna have to really up his game if he doesn’t want to join his brother Goldust as a regular on Superstars.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Certainly wouldn’t put money on it. Because I don’t have much. If you have any money you’d like to give me, please get in touch.

Randy Orton – For a guy who has a heel look, a heel-ish charisma and a heel-ish moveset, Randy Orton is insanely popular at the moment. His crowd pops have been deafening in recent weeks and his face turn feels fresh and exciting. Fans were always reluctant to boo him, and are now clearly enjoying cheering him.

The outspoken superstar likely wasn’t overly happy with his spot on the Wrestlemania card this year (which was probably part of the reason why he was given the pointless win), and thus I expect him to present his case – both in the ring and via backstage politicking – as to why he should always be performing in the top bracket in the coming months.

The fact that he can smash up hotel rooms, legitimately bully TV presenters and defecate on other performer’s belongings and still not be fired stands as proof to how much he means to the WWE.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Yep. In the main event.

Rey Mysterio – Mysterio is one of the biggest names on the roster due to his merchandise sales and pulling power upon Hispanic audiences – so WWE will seek to keep him as an employee for as long as possible.

Unfortunately for Rey, the next big thing on his horizon is rumoured to be knee surgery – so I assume some sort of injury angle will go down when he meets Punk at the next PPV. But upon his return, I hope Rey gets another shot at running with the title. It would be a shame if a wrestler of his immense ability only ever got to hold the coveted strap once.

Rey Mysterio has been in the WWE for 8 years now and has never drifted away from a full on babyface persona. How impressive is that in the modern wrestling era?! It’s testament to just how popular the wee guy is.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? If he can stay injury-free, for sure

Bret Hart – I’m a big Bret Hart fan, but even I will admit that his return to the ring at Wrestlemania was what I believe a majority of the Internet realm would refer to as an “epic fail”. WWE shouldn’t have promoted a “wrestling match” between him and Vince if they knew from the outset that no actual “wrestling” would occur. But hey, that’s business and I understand why they did it.

With that said, I have enjoyed seeing The Hitman on TV in recent weeks – it’s a very welcome nostalgia that fills my troubled mind with glee – so I would be more than happy if he chose to hang around in a GM role, or as a mouthpiece for The Hart Dynasty. Something like that.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? In a guest referee spot perhaps.

Vince McMahon – Surely Wrestlemania had to be the last in-ring action we’ll ever see from the boisterous WWE owner. I’m not denying the guy looks superb for his age  (in a freaky Sylvester Stallone kinda way) – but at 64 years of age, he really shouldn’t be looking to take bumps in a wrestling ring, through fear of a heart attack if nothing else. Which is the way in which we all know Flair will meet his maker..

Vince will never fully retire from TV of course, he’s for too much of an egomaniac to do that, and I already look forward to his next TV appearance. You can say what you like about him as a figurehead, but as a TV character, he’s pure entertainment.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? In a non-wrestling capacity. Hopefully.

John Cena – Cena’s character is incredibly stale. You know it. I know it. WWE creative knows it. Cena probably knows it. But as much as I’d like to see a Cena heel turn, it’s simply not gonna happen whilst kids across the globe continue to fork out millions of dollars for John Cena merchandise. WWE is first and foremost a business, and don’t you forget it.

I’ve nothing against Cena on a personal level – he seems a genuinely nice guy, does an insane amount of work for charity and is a great media tool for the WWE. But I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be a tiny bit pleased if he were to suddenly leave the business. Forever.

Alas, I don’t see that happening, and he will undoubtedly continue to dominate the main event scene for a long time yet.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? The safest bet in the world.


Shawn Michaels –
I don’t care how sincere he claims his retirement is, I would willingly bet my spleen that we will see HBK perform inside a WWE ring again. I fully believe his time as a full-time performer has passed – but Mr Wrestlemania won’t be able to resist the lure of the squared circle and will return to battle sooner or later.

On a side note – I’d like to take this opportunity to thank HBK for all the countless hours of exhilarating entertainment he’s given me over the years. Shawn Michaels is the greatest performer the WWE has ever known. And if you disagree with me, I will come over to your house and kick your pets.

Will he be on the WM 27 card? Maybe. If not, he’ll be at WM 28.

That’s part one for now, jabronis. Everyone that I’ve missed out will follow in part 2 in the near future. Over and out.

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