Bingo’s Breakdown: Wrestlemania 28 predictions

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Greetings jabronis,

 


 

In me-related news, I will soon be boarding a jet of jumbo proportions (from London, England) and heading to the States (the United ones) for a 2 week vacation  – during which time I will be attending Wresltemania in person. Oh yes. This will mark the first time I’ve ever attended a WWE PPV – and I feel like one very lucky chap indeed to be able to shed this PPV virginity at a Wrestlemania.

If truth be told, were I not actually attending Wrestlemania, I feel my excitement towards the event may be somewhat less fever-pitch. I think most wrestling fans, if their arms are twisted, would confess that the undercard is rather weak. Randy Orton v Kane, Big Show v Cody Rhodes and Daniel Bryan v Sheamus are all clashes that seem more like RAW or Smackdown match-ups – not quite Wrestlemania calibre. And instead of a Money in the Bank showdown we’ve got a pretty pointless 12 man tag match thrown together, I’m sure it’ll be mildly entertaining, but it doesn’t quite feel like a “Wrestlemania” occasion – you feel me?

And I felt this week’s episode of RAW was actually piss-poor taking into account that it was the “go-home” show before Wrestlemania. The episode played out pretty much exactly the same as the last 3 weeks with no major persuasive plugging that’s gonna convince anyone that hasn’t been convinced already to pay for the event to do so… and the big pay-off to The Miz storyline was that he got to join Team Johnny?! Whoopee-do. Even Drew Mcintyre got to be on that team.

But, of course, the event is being sold largely on the back of just 3 matches. And what incredible bouts these undoubtedly will be. I anticipate Undertaker v HHH, CM Punk v Chris Jericho and The Rock v John Cena to tell physical tales inside the ring that will become the stuff of wrestling folklore.

I could dilly-dally all day in describing the essence of Wrestlemania and it’s importance to the industry as a whole… But I’ve got a suitcase so pack I’m not going to. So, without wasting anymore of your precious time, here lie-eth my predictions…

Daniel Bryan v Sheamus

Wrestlemania 27’s scrapped match is this year promoted to world heavyweight title material and I, for one, am stoked to see these two guys get their just-deserves. I massively enjoy the performances of both workers, and you have to believe that they’re both gonna be main players in WWE for many years to come.

I don’t think Sheamus has received as much exposure as I anticipated since winning the Rumble back in January. He’s had no real feud to speak of in the last couple of months, and has largely been booked in meaningless squash matches. Meanwhile, WWE seems more intent on focusing on Daniel Bryan’s relationship with AJ rather than the fact he’s the champ. … But I guess when you’ve got HHH, HBK, Undertaker, John Cena, The Rock, Chris Jericho and CM Punk all in main event matches, it’s difficult to have a spotlight big enough for everyone to bathe in.

WWE is rumoured to have plans in place to push Sheamus to the moon (literally? I’m not sure), and I see that push starting here. WWE sees their next Cena/Orton in The Ginger Ninja, and I foresee his lack of storyline-situation changing drastically from April 1st onwards. When HHH is your number one fan and training buddy, the wind is well and truly in your sails.

With The Rock assumedly leaving WWE again after Wrestlemania (he reporedly has three back-to-back movies to film), the company will be seeking to freshen up the main event scene to keep audiences interested, and the promotion of Sheamus to a top babyface will go some way towards achieving that aim (WWE sees bringing back A-Train as another). I just hope that Bryan’s reign doesn’t prove to be a one-shot thing, because I think he’s done a damn fine job in his role as champ.

On a brief side-note – I would book this contest as the opener. It’s sure to be a lively encounter and the crowd will be hot for it. Plus, without wanting to be disrespectful to either guy involved here, Jericho and Punk should not be given “opening act” status… So let’s hope those rumours aren’t true.

Pick: Sheamus

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Cody Rhodes v Big Show

I’m happy to see that the youthful and talented Cody Rhodes has managed to steer clear of the jumbled 12 man tag match and bag himself a singles bout on the card. It’s just a crying shame that it has to be against The Big Show.

It’s difficult to predict where WWE is planning on going with this storyline. Will The Big Show continue to be humiliated at Wrestlemania? Or will he gain redemption in thwarting Cody Rhodes and claiming the IC strap? There’s no obvious favourite because the WWE’s booking of both competitors can be wildly erratic. One week we’re asked to take Cody Rhodes as a serious opponent to Randy Orton, whilst the next week we see him pinned after a single chop from The Great Khali. Meanwhile, The Big Show goes from main-eventer to comedy midcard act from month to month.

So it’s mostly pot luck, but I’m gonna opt for a Cody Rhodes win. It would be the right outcome. After pinning Rey Mysterio at ‘Mania last year, losing to The Big Show this year would just seems like a step backwards after 12 months of hard work from the young upshot. But that’s just me being hopeful more than anything else.

Pick: Cody Rhodes

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Beth Phoenix and Eve v Kelly Kelly and someone else

The sensible money will be on the team with the “celebrity” in it winning (I’m assuming she’s a big name in the US, but we British folk genuinely have no idea who she is. Did she invent Jolly Ranchers?).

What a mighty shame that Kharrma wasn’t ring-fit in time for Wrestlemania. Perhaps a run-in from the lady herself will help the face-team pick up the win?

Pick: Kelly Kelly and her chum

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The Miz, David Otunga, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre v Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston and Booker T

It’s nice that WWE tries to get as many guys on the card as possible to ensure them all a hearty Wrestlemania pay-out  … I just wish it was something a little bit more inventive that what’s been thrown together here. Does the audience really have any emotional investment in whether Teddy Long or Johnny Ace becomes the RAW and Smackdown GM? I think not.

John Laurinaitis has only really started finding his feet as an on-screen character in the last couple of months, so I see no need for WWE wanting to bring an unnecessary halt to his entertaining evolution. Teddy Long, on the other hand, has never really done anything wrong on TV – but in 7 years as Smackdown GM he’s never really done anything memorable either.  For that reason I see Team Laurinaitis reigning supreme over Team Long (which should really be rebranded Team Job Squad) and then Johnny Ace will be installed as the GM on both brands.

I’m absolutely devastated that I won’t get to see my favourite guy Christian perform at Wrestlemania. His lack of in-ring activity of late made it pretty obvious to all that he was still injured, but kudos to WWE for giving him right up to the last minute to try and be fit for the event. And I guess he deserves better than being on a team headed by David Otunga anyway. Hopefully he’ll be back to stake his claim for “one more match” for the world title in the not too distant future.

Pick: Team Johnny

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Randy Orton v Kane

It seems pretty obvious to everyone that this match was thrown together as a last minute decision, because it has virtually zero build-up and the reason for the feud is almost non-existant. Kane, presumably bored with spying on Zack Ryder in the bathroom, decided to attack Orton upon his return from the injury. And thus we have this match.

I think it was incredibly generous of Orton to put over the blubbery Mark Henry clean on a couple of occasions last year, and thus the WWE booking team must owe a favour or two to The Viper.  So I see Mr Orton earning a victory for his CV here in what will presumably be a pretty short match, then Kane can go back to spying on guys using the toilet.

It seems mildly strange to me that Alberto Del Rio doesn’t feature on the card (as he is reportedly 100% fit), so if we are to see the aristocrat on the night, I suppose he could well get involved with this one. But who cares, right? Wrestlemania has bigger fish to fry.

Pick: Randy Orton

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Undertaker v HHH

Their match last year was superb and a sound masterclass in story-telling and power-moves – so how could they possibly up the ante? By adding HBK as the referee and putting them all inside hell in a cell is how… which is a pretty sound response I reckon.

For me, this one has an easily predictable outcome. I don’t think anyone else in the future of WWE will ever come anywhere near achieving 20 – 0 at Wrestlemania – so there’s no way that anyone would want to rob The Undertaker of the chance to lay claim to such a magnificent and feat.

The Dead Man simply HAS to win. As I’ve wrote in previous years, The Undertaker’s streak is more important than any title. The streak is his legacy, and when he finally retires from WWE – that is what he will be remembered for more than anything else in his career.

I’m expecting HBK’s role to be, unusually, pretty minimal. A chance will likely present itself for HBK to clearly favour HHH, but ultimately he’ll decide to call it down the middle.

The fact that’s I’ve gone four and a bit paragraphs without even mentioning HHH is a big indication that this match is about The Undertaker and nobody else.

There are whispers that this match could lead to HBK coming out of retirement for one last run against HHH (Undertaker has planted the seeds by suggesting that HBK was always better than his DX pal). I sure hope those whispered rumours prove true.

Pick: The Undertaker

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CM Punk v Chris Jericho

Will it be match of the night? From a purists point of view, you can bet your ass it will be.

Jericho’s comeback has been pretty low-key since he baffled us all with his vignettes followed by a 10 minute silent return on RAW at the start of the year. Many (including myself) expected him to win the Rumble, but he didn’t. Then the majority of us expected him to win the elimination chamber, but he didn’t. Yet he finds himself in the headline title match at Wrestlemania by winning a forgettable battle royal on an episode of RAW. So it’s been far from an ‘epic journey’ for The Ayatollah in 2012.

I don’t want to criticise Jericho for WWE’s stupid booking however, because we all know that he will unquestionably make up for it in the ring.

Jericho verbally attacking Punk’s family has added some intensity to their showdown but, if truth be told, these two are capable of putting on a 5 star match together without any sort of build-up. I’m looking forward to this encounter more than anything else on the card – because it’s the two best in the world doing what they do best. What could be more perfect?

Like most other grapple fans I’ve spoken to, I’m anticipating a Jericho win here. Emerging from Wrestlemania with two new world champions will give the WWE roster an aura of freshness that I spoke of earlier in this column – and although the company will be seeking to put new feuds in motion in the aftermath of Wrestlemania, I predict there being a few chapters left in this particular one.

Pick: Chris Jericho

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The Rock v John Cena

I wrote this column (HERE) 11 months ago when The Rock vs John Cena was first announced and, as I give myself a slap on the back Barry Horowitz style, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of it rang true, and a lot of the points made are still relevant.

To reiterate – I just can’t foresee WWE having their number one figurehead lose to a movie star. It’s just bad for business – and The Rock will be well aware of that. History tells us that The Rock is a company guy who had no problems putting over the likes of Brock Lesnar, Goldberg and, er, The Hurricane on his way out previously. And I see no reason for that to change here.

If this does prove to be the first in a triple header of matches between Rock and Cena, I don’t change my stance at all. Cena wins here, The Rock will win the rebound match (possibly at Summerslam?), and then Cena will have to emerge victorious from the feud as a whole in part 3.

In a perfect world, I’d of course like to see a Rock victory here, and then a re-invention of the Cena character in the aftermath that he wasn’t good enough to beat The People’s Champ. But that would be an incredibly brave booking decision… And I don’t think Vince McMahon has the testicular fortitude to permit such a thing.

Whilst I’m not looking forward to this match as much as others on the card, I am uber ecstatic that I get to be part of the audience for this one. The atmosphere is sure to be boiling with fevered emotion and the chants will be almost deafening – so just to be present in the building for this historic showdown will be worth the entrance fee alone.

Pick: John Cena

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Those are my picks, jabronis. Please add our own below, I love it when you do.

I would have liked to write a Wrestlemania reactionary column, but as I’m gonna be in Florida for a further 13 days beyond Wrestlemania I will be far too busy doing touristy crap (as well as attending the Orlando Smackdown tapings on April 3rd!) to scribe anything for Wrestling-Edge. Forgive me in advance.

So as this is the last you’ll hear from me for a few weeks, I bid you all a very Happy Wrestlemania, and let’s all collectively hope that the memories it carves into the wrestling annals are great ones.

Over and out.

 

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