ECW on SyFy Report – August 4th, 2009
Report by PWInsider, Richard Trionfo
We are live on tape from Uniondale, New York and your announcers are Matt ‘Bringing the Punny’ Striker and Josh ‘Where is the mind zapping deal from Men in Black to forget about last night’ Mathews.
We start off tonight’s show with the Abraham Washington Show. He welcomes everyone to his show and he has a giant applause sign that nobody in the building can see. He says that he was happy when he found out that they were coming to New York, but he was sad when he found out they were gong to be in Long Island. He says that he made an offer to Sarah Palin to be a guest. Zack Ryder comes out and takes a seat on the couch. Washington wants to know what Zack is doing. Zack points out that they are in Long Island and the only good thing to come out of Long Island is Zack Ryder. Zack points out that his girlfriend is in the crowd. Washington yells at Ryder for having his feet on the table. Washington points out that Shelton Benjamin was supposed to be on the show tonight. Ryder says that he is better than Benjamin in every way. Abraham says that he didn’t want Benjamin on the show, but Tiffany forced Washington to be on the show. After making fun of Shelton’s music, Shelton comes out. Shelton says that they would be thrown off the air so he will speak in Smurf. Shelton inserts the word ‘smurf’ where the obscenities would be. Washington calls Benjamin a Dennis Rodman wannabe. Shelton comments about Zack’s girlfriend and then Zack challenges Shelton. Washington has an idea and it is time for the first Abraham Idol to find out which superstar is more entertaining. Zack chooses a song from Hootie and the Blowfish and Zack doesn’t know the words. Shelton starts to sing and Zack attacks him from behind. Shelton takes Zack down.
Ezekiel Jackson walks in the back, that must mean that we will also see Vladimir Kozlov after the commercial.
Match Number One: Ezekiel Jackson versus Danny Danger
Jackson hits a back breaker or two on Danger and then he kicks Danger in the ribs. Jackson with an uranage for the three count.
Winner: Ezekiel Jackson
After the match, Vladimir Kozlov comes out to the ring. Kozlov stands at Danger’s head and then he picks up Danger and hits his spinebuster slam. Jackson picks up Danger and hits another uranage before leaving the ring.
Tiffany is in the garage talking to the Bellas. A production assistant tells Tiffany that everything is ready for tonight. Hurricane saves the production assistant from a large object falling on her. Hurricane leaves before Tiffany can see him. Paul Burchill says that this is ridiculous and we go to commercial.
We are back and did you know that WWE broadcasts in many different languages, but that probably couldn’t save last night’s show.
Match Number Two: Sheamus versus Goldust
They lock up and Sheamus with a forearm but Goldust with a punch and then he misses a splash into the corner. Sheamus with a shoulder breaker and the referee checks on him. Sheamus kicks Goldust in the shoulder. Sheamus with an arm bar submission but Goldust gets to his feet. Goldust with an arm drag but Sheamus with a kick and a Divorce Court as he returns to the arm bar. Sheamus pulls Goldust down and he has him in a key lock. Goldust with punches but Sheamus drops the arm on the top rope and hits a shoulder tackle for a near fall. Goldust sends Sheamus into the turnbuckles and gets a near fall. Sheamus with another arm bar submission but Goldust refuses to give up. Goldust with punches but Sheamus with an Irish whip and shoulder in the corner. Goldust with punches in the corner followed by an Irish whip and bulldog. Goldust with clotheslines followed by the drop down uppercut and a power slam for a two count. Sheamus charges into a boot but Sheamus pulls Goldust off the turnbuckles and gets the three count.
Winner: Sheamus
After the match, Sheamus says that he came to ECW looking for gold but all he got was dust. Sheamus is attacked by Goldust from behind and Goldust sends Sheamus into the ringside barrier. The referee separates Goldust and Sheamus and Sheamus goes to the back.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Smackdown Rebound with highlights from the John Morrison/Jeff Hardy match and CM Punk’s post match attack on Hardy.
Matt and Josh talk about the match between Tommy Dreamer and Christian in an Extreme Rules Match. Tommy Dreamer is in the interview area and he is asked about his chances tonight. Tommy says that an Extreme Rules match is his match and in front of his Extreme Peeps, he will win his title back.
Christian is walking in the back and he better have gotten the insurance on his rental car because he is carrying the door with him as he walks into commercial.
Match Number Three: Tommy Dreamer versus Christian in an Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Title
Dreamer brings a hot dog cart to the ring with him while Christian still has his car door.
Christian with a waist lock but Dreamer with an elbow and shoulder tackle but he misses an elbow drop. Christian with an arm bar. Dreamer stops Christian from getting any weapons. Christian misses a clothesline and Dreamer with a slam. Dreamer goes to the floor and he throws a trash can lid into the ring. Christian takes the lid but Dreamer has a kendo stick. Christian blocks the cane shows and Christian leaves the ring. Dreamer hits Christian in the leg and back. Dreamer sends Christian back into the ring and he tries to bring in a trash can but Christian with a baseball slide into the trash can and Dreamer goes to the floor. Christian with the double jump cross body and then Christian throws the trash can at Dreamer. Christian breaks a crutch over Dreamer’s back. Christian with a side Russian leg sweep into the ringside barrier. Christian with a punch and then he charges at Dreamer but Dreamer moves and Christian goes into the hot dog stand. Dreamer takes a part of the cart and hits Christian with it. Dreamer has a snack and then he shoves a hot dog in Christian’s face. Dreamer slams Christian’s head into the cart and we go to commercial.
We are back and Dreamer and Christian exchange punches and Dreamer sends a trash can into Christian for a near fall. Dreamer with an Irish whip but Christian avoids the bulldog and he hits Dreamer with a trash can lid. Christian hits Dreamer with the kendo stick and then they go to the floor. Christian avoids going into the steps but Dreamer with a back body drop. Dreamer clotheslines Christian over the ringside barrier into the crowd. Dreamer misses with the trash can and Christian with a punch and a missile drop kick from the ringside barrier into a trash can and Dreamer is down.
Christian wedges a trash can in the turnbuckles and Dreamer sends Christian into the trash can. Dreamer with a pump handle suplex and he adds the cane for extra impact. Christian gets his foot on the ropes when Dreamer goes for the cover. Christian drops Dreamer across the top rope and then Dreamer lands on the trash can lid. Christian goes up top with a trash can and he throws it at Dreamer. Christian gets a two count. Dreamer blocks a Tornado DDT and sends Christian onto a trash can but Christian kicks out. Dreamer puts Christian in the Tree of Woe and Dreamer puts a trash can in front of Christian’s head and he hits the trash can with a crutch. Dreamer tries for a DDT on the trash can but Christian sends Dreamer onto the trash can. Christian hits Dreamer with the trash can and cane.
Christian goes to the floor and he brings in the car door. Christian charges at Dreamer but Dreamer hits Christian with a trash can lid. Dreamer sets for a piledriver onto the car door but Christian blocks it and hits the Killswitch on the door for the three count.
Winner: Christian
We go to credits.
