The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal 01/16/12
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter at @johnreport
Live from Anaheim, California this is the Raw Deal…
They started the show with a video tribute of Martin Luther King Jr. in honor of this day that we honor him. It’s a video they air every year. On a lesser note, the Nickelback Raw intro song started up from there. When are they going to change that song?
The first sign I saw said “somebody call my momma” and I noticed a few others with that. To start the show, Justin Roberts introduced Mick Foley. Foley noted on Twitter a few days ago that he finished up his last indy date, so he’s back in WWE only.
Foley talked about how when he came back to WWE, he was okay returning to WWE in a nostalgic type of role. He mentioned dressing up as Santa and that awful “this is your life” segment about Cena. He said he wrestled in Anaheim at the main event of WrestleMania (that’s 2000). He said his wife and two kids saw it, but he’s got two more kids now that haven’t seen him wrestle much. I guess they didn’t watch TNA huh? Foley said he wants to be one of the 30 men in the Royal Rumble. The crowd cheered loudly.
He was interrupted by Vickie Guerrero along with Dolph Ziggler. Dolph ripped on him, wondering why he wants to be in the Rumble and take the spot of one of the 30 deserving guys in the locker room. Then he imitated Mick’s kids, acting as if he gets thrown out of the ring. Foley says you can’t predict the Rumble. He says maybe magic can happen in the Rumble just like when he won the WWE Title three times. He cut a promo saying he was in it to win it. Foley did a great job of putting over the Rumble. Ziggler then bragged about his accomplishments, wrestling Cena last week and beating CM Punk two times in a row. Ziggler said he’ll win the WWE Title as well as the Royal Rumble, so I guess he’s in the match too. Ziggler ripped on him, ending the promo telling him to go home, buy a new shirt, eat a salad and just go away. Fantastic promo work from Ziggler as well as well as Foley here. Is this a possible WrestleMania match? CM Punk’s music started and the WWE Champion entered the arena.
Punk says it’s so good to see Mick “right here in Anaheim, California.” Cheap pop. Ziggler ripped on their clothes. Punk fired back saying that he and Mick don’t look like every other superstar and they don’t hide behind a woman. “A poor excuse for a woman,” says Punk. Punk ripped on Ziggler, saying Laurinaitis was in his back pocket. Punk said he’ll retain the title at the Royal Rumble: “I’m the best wrestler in the world.” Punk said it would be cool to go to WrestleMania to defend the WWE Title against Mick Foley. Then everybody argued. Interim Raw GM John Laurinaitis showed up on the stage.
Laurinaitis said that he’ll be unbiased at the Rumble. He said he’d consider Foley’s request to be in the Royal Rumble. He thought about it. His answer is: “No.” With a finger point of doom. He left. Vickie laughed in Foley’s face. The segment just ended as they cut backstage.
Backstage, Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne were walking without their tag team titles. They mentioned Primo & Epico winning the tag titles at a house show last night.
Analysis: I thought the promo exchange was awesome, especially the Foley/Ziggler stuff. They had a lot of chemistry. It makes me think that a match between them at WrestleMania is a possibility. It would be good for Foley to wrestle one of the best in-ring talents while Ziggler could have a high profile match against a returning legend. We have two months for that, though. I’ll assume that Foley does earn an entry into the Rumble eventually. It’s wise of Laurinaitis to deny him. It only adds to his heel heat. It was a very strong first 17 minutes of the show.
(Commercial)
Back from break, they showed a clip from the house show last night in Oakland where Epico & Primo won the tag titles. Primo won with the Back Stabber.
Tag Titles: Epico & Primo vs. Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston
The heels worked over Bourne early. He got the hot tag to Kingston after about two minutes. The crowd is really hot for the Air Boom team. Epico got a good nearfall on Kingston. He came back with Trouble in Paradise. Bourne was on the top rope. Primo took out Kingston on the floor. Epico hit the Back Stabber on Bourne for the win. That’s it? Match was three minutes long.
Winners: Primo & Epico
Analysis: * A lot shorter than I would have liked. Is Evan Bourne in the doghouse? Not sure. Either that, or they just wanted to establish the new champs with a dominant win. It’ll be interesting to see where Air Boom goes from here.
In the locker room, David Otunga tells John Laurinaitis there is somebody there to see him. Laurinatis tells him that he’s in a match. It’s Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry & David Otunga vs. CM Punk, Daniel Bryan & Chris Jericho. He was talking to smiling Chris Jericho, who says nothing. Jericho shut the lights off, and then did his pose so his jacket lit up the room.
(Commercial)
Back from break, they mentioned the Ryder/Swagger US Title match for later. Eve was by his side. She said he should be home recuperating. He had taped ribs. He says he was going to have his match. She said she would be by his side.
They aired the video package about the Kane/Cena/Ryder angle from last week. The US Title match is up next.
Jack Swagger entered along with Vickie Guerrero. They replayed the finish of the Ryder/Swagger match from last week with the blown call. There was a debate about it between Cole & Lawler. It still seems like a legit blown call to me, but they are turning it into an angle. The match is up after the break.
(Commercial)
US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger
The match started after the break. I should point out that I noticed former Saved by the Bell character “Mr. Belding” sitting behind Cole & Lawler. He’s been on Twitter @mrbelding petitioning to be the Raw GM. At least he got a good ticket for the show. Swagger hit a Gutwrench Powerbomb. Ryder kicked out. He hit it again. Ryder kicked out once more. Ryder’s selling the ribs heavily. They are taped up. Swagger hit a third Gutwrench Powerbomb. That’s it. Swagger wins the US Title after three minutes.
Winner: Jack Swagger – New US Champion
Analysis: 1/2* Ryder didn’t get offense in. Swagger hit his finisher three times. I thought maybe Ryder would roll him up after one of them in order to win the title, but that didn’t happen. The announcers played up the idea that Ryder shouldn’t be in the ring and that Swagger should give an assist to Kane. That’s the end of Ryder’s US Title reign, which has to be described as a disappointment. I wouldn’t be shocked if he gets the title back in the near future, though. At least it gives something for Swagger to do. He’s been in the midcard doing nothing for way too long.
They plugged the six man tag main event.
(Commercial)
Backstage, Ryder was being looked at by a doctor. Laurinaitis walked in to say he just got a note that said Ryder wasn’t cleared to compete. Eve freaked out about it. I’d assume a rematch
The guest announcer for the next match with 4 million Twitter followers (and 8 million page views) is Perez Hilton. Does Vince McMahon know who he is? Or does he only care because he has a lot of Twitter followers? Fans booed him for the most part.
Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox vs. Nikki & Brie Bella
I’m pretty sure that Lawler & Cole said Paris a few times instead of Perez. Then they plugged his work. Kelly hit a move. The Bellas switched who the legal sister was. Perez pulled her out of the ring. Kelly rolled up one of the Bellas. Match was about 45 seconds. Literally two moves.
Winners: Kelly & Alicia
Analysis: DUD Early worst match of the year contender. My eyes are sore after watching that trainwreck.
Post match, a Bella shoved down Perez. He took an awful bump. The girls left the ring after being stared down by Kelly & Alicia because they’re so intimidating.
They showed what happened on Smackdown with Big Show accidentally knocking out Daniel Bryan’s girlfriend AJ. Update later in the show. No idea what the top of hour two main event is, if there is one.
(Commercial)
To cheer myself up after that trainwreck, here’s a link to my favorite “Page” on Facebook: CM Punk is Not Impressed. It’s very funny. Check it out. The Madonna one from last night is especially hilarious.
This week’s classic Royal Rumble moment looks at 1992. Great Rumble. The best one ever, in my opinion. My recap of that match is here.
Who do you think will win the Royal Rumble?
At the top of hour two, R-Truth walks out. He’s not in his ring gear. Before he can talk, Wade Barrett interrupts with a microphone asking R-Truth if that’s his real name. He’s in his ring gear. He says he’s glad Mick Foley isn’t in the Rumble. He said he’s in the match, so is R-Truth. Truth said it was okay for the crowd to “WHAT?” him so they did. Truth was at Disneyland earlier in the day so he wanted to show Barrett his slideshow. He met Mickey & Minnie, then Donald Duck. The photoshopped photos were hilarious. Truth is doing great off the “WHAT?” chants. He said Pinnochio told him that Wade Barrett was going to win the Rumble and look what happened, his nose grew. “I don’t even know if that is PG.” He says he believes a mouse can talk, an elephant can talk and he believes that Barrett won’t win the Royal Rumble. Out of nowhere, The Miz attacked R-Truth. The music of Sheaus started up for the save. Here’s Teddy Long. I wonder if he’s making a tag match? I guess R-Truth does have his ring gear on. No tag match. Instead, it’s an over the top rope challenge between Miz, Barrett, Truth & Sheamus.
Over the top rope challenge: Sheamus, R-Truth, Wade Barrett & The Miz
Barrett got eliminated first. It looks like Truth is wrestling with his wedding ring on. What a husband. Miz almost eliminated Truth, but that didn’t work. Sheamus did his power moves on Miz. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick, Miz avoided it. Sheamus got back in control and went to give him a powerslam over the ropes. R-Truth snuck up from behind Sheamus & Miz and dumped them both out. The match went about 4 minutes.
Winner: R-Truth
Analysis: *1/2 A decent job of promoting the ideas of the Royal Rumble match. Every man for himself indeed.
Post match, Sheamus gave the Brogue Kick to the Miz on the floor.
Backstage, John Laurinaitis talked to John Cena, who complained about Ryder being screwed over earlier. JL booked Cena vs. Kane at the Royal Rumble. No idea if either guy is in the Rumble match itself, but I will assume they are. He also booked Cena vs. Swagger for later. There were loud “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants so it was hard to hear at times too.
(Commercial)
They showed a replay of Swagger’s win over Zack Ryder. Cole complained about this upcoming Swagger match taking place. They have toned down Cole’s act, but it is right of him to complain here. It’s odd that they would book Swagger in two matches like this.
Jack Swagger vs. John Cena
Cena entered the ring in super angry mode. No smiling or jokes here. He’s also not selling the attack from last week. He beat up Swagger outside the ring, using a hard knee to the face and power punches as well as clotheslines. The attack is taking place on the floor, so apparently there’s no real match here. Cena whipped Swagger into the steel steps. Then he rammed Swagger’s face into the steps four times in a row before leaving. He was going to stomp on his head, but instead he got the rest of the ring steps to smash his head in. Hey at least he sells the weight of the ring steps.
No match
Backstage, Kane is shown on the video screen. He says that he was impressed by Cena’s performance. He claims that by the time we get to the Royal Rumble we will see John Cena “embrace the hate.” It went to commercial from there.
Analysis: It did a good job of showing how angry Cena is. The question is, why make the new US Champion be the guy that gets beat up? I realize the connection with Ryder, but there are plenty of other guys that could have took the beating too. Cena’s performance was great here. If he goes heel one day I’m sure he could do some impressive beatdowns if the story called for it. He plays the angry guy well.
(Commercial)
It’s Brodus Clay time. The song is pretty addictive. Same deal as the last week with the red outfit and the Funkasaurus dancers. He got a pretty good pop. They did the dance pre-match. At the end, the fireworks went off on the ring posts. I guess he has the same powers as Kane.
Brodus Clay vs. JTG
Playing the role of jobber is JTG. Brodus did a lot of dancing, even when JTG was holding onto his leg. He hit his running headbutt, an overhead suplex (he called it again) and a big splash in the corner leaning into the running Crossbody for the win. It’s another one minute win for Brodus. Cole mentioned that the finisher is named “Ah Funk It.” Pretty sure that’s what he said.
Winner: Brodus Clay
Analysis: Squash win for Brodus as you’d expect. My guess is he has a big role in the Royal Rumble, eliminating many superstars at once.
The fun ended as they went to SERIOUS VOICES~! to explain that they’ll have more on the Big Show/Daniel Bryan/AJ storyline from Smackdown.
(Commercial)
It’s Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry for the World Title on Smackdown.
They aired the video package on the angle from Smackdown with Big Show accidentally running over AJ. They keyed on the part where Bryan asks AJ how much she loves him. That makes me think that where they’re going with this is Bryan asking AJ to take that blow for him so he didn’t have to finish his match with Big Show. Bryan was great on Smackdown. I’m loving the heel turn.
Daniel Bryan stood on the stage to cut a promo. He called Big Show a freak because he ran over his 95 pound girlfriend. He said AJ has been traumatized and will never be the same. He claims that he ran over his girlfriend just to get to him & his World Title. He said Show didn’t apologize, he just had fake tears. Bryan told Show to not show his face on Smackdown because if he does he will make him pay. Bryan dedicates Friday’s match versus Mark Henry to his girlfriend AJ. He said he appreciates that AJ told him she loves him. He didn’t say “I love you” back. Why? He’s a jerk. That was a terrific promo from DBry, who is quite possibly my favorite performer in the company. It’s main event time.
Chris Jericho was the next participant for his team. He had his light up jacket once again, doing the Y2J pose at the top of the ramp. He pointed at Mr. Belding behind the announcers. They plugged Jericho’s first match in a year and a half as they went to break.
(Commercial)
Back from break, Jericho continued to celebrate his return in an over the top manner. The heel team of Otunga, Henry & Ziggler were all in the ring. Then CM Punk entered. They introduced two guys on one team, then three guys on the other and the last guy on the first team. How many times has that happened?
CM Punk, Daniel Bryan & Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry & David Otunga
I love the Punk team here. It’s an internet fan’s dream team in many ways. You can call them the “Best in the World” team since Bryan would say it in ROH, Jericho used to say it and Punk says it now. Why is Otunga in the match? I guess you need somebody to take a pin on that side. The heels worked over Bryan. I’m reminded of how awesome the Bryan/Ziggler matches were at the end of 2010. Bryan got the tag to Punk while Otunga entered for his team. They’re building up the tag to Jericho well. It’s 10:51pmET so there’s lots of time for this match. Ziggler got control over Punk, but the WWE Champion broke out of his hold with a backbreaker. Ziggler managed to pull him back to his corner. Punk fought off Otunga and ended up hitting a top rope elbow as Jericho hyped up the crowd. Loud Y2J chant. Huge pop! He’s hyping up the crowd even more. Then he tagged in Daniel Bryan and left. Haha. Now the fans are booing him a bit more. He walked to the back as the show went to break.
That was odd, but not that surprising. The idea that some are floating around is that he’ll win the Royal Rumble match and finally speak after that happens. I guess he can claim that he was keeping himself fresh. I’m not sure where it’s going exactly, which is fine with me.
(Commercial)
We returned with Daniel Bryan getting a hot tag to CM Punk, who hit his signature spots on Dolph Ziggler. A springboard clothesline got two. Henry broke up the pin. Bryan went to save Punk. Henry cut him off. They fought up the aisle with Henry dominating him. Punk was alone. All of a sudden, Mick Foley’s music hit. He stood in the corner of CM Punk. Foley told the ref that Laurinaitis let him out there. I guess it’s now a 4 on 3 match for the faces although two of them have left and it’s now a 2 on 2 tag match. Crazy booking for this match. Punk got the tag to Foley while Otunga got the tag for his team. Foley worked him over in the corner and he hit the running knee. Double arm DDT on Otunga. It’s Mr. Socko time. He shoved the white sock down the throat of Otunga. The ref called for the bell. Yep, it’s Mr. Socko in 2012. That’s fun for the sake of nostalgia. Match went 13 minutes.
Winners: CM Punk and Mick Foley
After the match, John Laurinaitis said that Foley wasn’t in the match. He reversed the decision.
Winners: Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry & David Otunga
Analysis: ** A formulaic tag match with a fun finish, but it was all over the place.
Punk stole the microphone from Laurinaitis. He told him to shut up. He said “you’re going to take the balls out of your purse.” Punk said the people don’t know who he is because he had the look, but “boy oh boy did you ever suck!” He said it must have difficult since his brother was one of the Road Warriors and Laurinaitis was roadkill, as well as boring. Punk said the reason Laurinaitis is going to screw him at the Rumble is out of jealousy because of who he is and where he comes from. Punk said that coming out of the match he’ll still be better than him. If JL screws him, Punk says he’s not going to give him the GTS or Anaconda Vince, he’s going to make it look like he was put through the meat grinder because Punk will kick his ass. Punk said: “You’re pathetic” and left to a huge pop from the crowd.
In the ring, Laurinaitis was fuming while Foley gave him the famous thumbs up sign. Laurinaitis went over his role title like he usually does saying he will soon to be permanent GM of Raw. He said he won’t be intimidated by CM Punk. Foley told him he was a sycophant and a kissass. Well, the kissass part is true if you ask the right people in the business. Laurinaitis went on an angry rant saying he’s tired of being disrespected and bullied. He says each week he puts on an entertaining show for the WWE Universe. He’s not going to take it anymore. He used the microphone to attack Mick Foley, hitting him with the bottom part of the microphone to the head. Laurinaitis walked out. The show ended there at 11:10pmET.
I thought the post match interaction was great by Punk, Foley & Laurinaitis. It was the first time that Laurinaitis really showed anger based on how he’s been treated by CM Punk as well as others. He got physical by using the microphone as a weapon on Foley. Well played. It looks like we’ve got a potential GM of Raw angle brewing between the two.
Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk – He proved why he’s the best. Terrific end of show speech against Laurinaitis.
2. Dolph Ziggler – Arguably the best promo of his career.
(tie) 3. Mick Foley – Put over the Rumble match very well as well his intentions.
(tie) 3. John Laurinaitis – Arguably his best performance to date on Raw. He’s growing into the role well.
7 out of 10
Last week: 4
2012 Average: 5.33
Last 5 Weeks: 4, 5, 5, 6.5, 6
It was a promo heavy show, but there were a lot of strong promos from the likes of Ziggler, Foley, Laurinaitis, Punk & Bryan to name a few. Like I said above, that was probably the best performance that Laurinaitis has had since becoming a regular on Raw. What Punk said to him was perfect. The reaction of Laurinaitis after Punk left was exactly what it should have been too. He took out his anger on Foley, who pushed his buttons. All of it worked for me.
As for Jericho, the trolling continues. The sad thing is the fans are still cheering wildly for him. Next week is the last Raw before the Royal Rumble. I hope those fans boo a bit more. That’s the reaction he wants. Give it to him!
They did a better job of pushing the Royal Rumble match too. That was a big complaint of mine before. The four way over the top rope challenge was booked in a smart manner, showing that you can win by sneaking up on your competitors. The Brodus act is still fun. I think if they keep doing it into next month it could get a bit tiresome. They’ll have to give him some kind of feud soon.
Overall it was a well booked show. I’m not giving it higher than a 7 because the in-ring action was too short aside from the main event, but most of the promos they did had a purpose. There’s nothing wrong with a promo heavy show as long as they make sense. This week, the promos made sense.
How would you rate 01/16 Raw on the 1-10 scale?
I asked you for questions and you responded to me @johnreport.
@TJButler23 What is your favorite 30 man Royal Rumble match?
The 1992 match that Ric Flair won. Also 2001 won by Austin and 2007 won by Taker. All great!
@iamthatjack When will Jericho and Punk begin their feud?
After the Royal Rumble most likely. Either Jericho wins that or it starts up another way. Lots of options.
@MichealKerwick do you think that it is wise that they are having almost a repeat of austin/mcmahon with punk/laurnaitis?
It’s not there yet, but could reach that point. I don’t hate it. The chemistry is good. It depends on where it goes.
@Mofoticon Looking ahead, what wrestler is the best candidate to be 2012 superstar of the year?
I think Punk & Jericho are the favorites with Daniel Bryan being an outside shot. This is my superstar of the year, not WWE’s pick.
@JP24BITW With Jericho back, and possibilities in the future such as Lesnar and Samoa Joe coming, any chance the PG era ends any time soon?
I don’t think so. Not this year or within the next five years. They have licensing deals contingent on them being PG. I don’t see it changing anytime soon. It’s easier to get advertising when you’re PG compared to being TV14.
@Scroutch In your opinion, would a 5/10 Raw by today’s standards be the same as a 5/10 Raw in, say, 2001?
Good question. I’d say no. There were higher standards in 2001. I wasn’t writing weekly back then, though, so hard to say exactly.
@TheCarg Prediction time: Three names you see moving from TNA to WWE before the year is up.
Just a hunch: Samoa Joe, Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley. Maybe it’s because I want them all to go. I don’t know contract info.
@SuckMyDash What do you think the television return of Stephanie McMahon could do for the company, should she be a heel & an HHH heel turn?
I don’t see her making a big impact. Ten years ago she was fresh and young. Not that she’s old now (late 30s), but she has three kids. Guys got heat off her because they called her a slut. Not going to happen now. She’s moved on. Good for her.
@steve3389 A big deal is usually made of the final 4 standing in the Rumble. Who will the Final 4 be this year?
Always hard to guess, but since you asked…Jericho, Orton, Sheamus & Barrett.
@unlimitedrange Do you think this Kane angle was the best way for them to keep Cena out of the title picture for a while?
Assuming that it ends with a clean Cena win to make him look strong prior to Mania, yes I think it was a good way to do it.
That’s all for this week. I might have a new column up mid-week. Not sure yet. It might be pushed back to next week. I’ll be back with Canton’s Corner on the weekend. Thanks for reading.
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