The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal for 09/19/11
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter at @johnreport
Live from Cleveland, Ohio this is the Raw Deal…
The announcers for the show are Michael Cole (with his voice back), Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross. They mentioned Hugh Jackman was the guest star. We start with what else? A promo.
CM Punk started out talking about how he didn’t have luck in the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, mentioning injuries he’s suffered like Bob Holly hitting him in the eye. Holly was a bully in the ring to a lot of people, or so I’ve heard/read. Anyway, he talked about there being some sort of conspiracy although different from Miz & Truth. Triple H interrupted him. He said they went through a war at Night of Champions, but that they had to move forward and he announced a Triple Threat Hell in a Cell match at the HIAC PPV involving Cena defending the WWE Title against Del Rio (rematch) and Punk (also his rematch). They made a big deal of it being the first triple threat HIAC match. Hunter said he had nothing to do with Nash coming out, mikes being cut off or Miz/Truth attacking them. Punk agreed with him, saying he realized there was somebody else pitting them against eachother.
Cue John Laurinaitis, who doesn’t have any theme music yet although I would suggest the Super Dave Osborne song since he has the same voice. Punk said he believed that Johnny was out to get Triple H’s job. Then Laurinaitis fired back with: “YOU’RE OUT OF LINE!” Whattup to my Facebook friends for that one. They love that line. He told Punk he already had a job as the head of talent relations, that Punk worked for him and that Punk was fired. Hunter said Punk isn’t fired and reminded Johnny that he worked for Hunter. Hunter ended the segment by saying he’ll sort it out and somebody will be fired by the end of the night. This was your typical 15 minute Raw opening promo that set up the firing as the main event angle later on. The whole thing was fine although it dragged a bit.
They plugged Night of Champions, mentioning Mark Henry as World Champion. My recap of the very average PPV is here. I also rank the nine WWE PPVs of 2011 in that column, so give it a look.
Sheamus, Justin Gabriel, Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston d. Christian, David Otunga, Michael McGillicuty & Wade Barrett (*1/2)
There were eight guys in the match, but it was really just about the Sheamus vs. Christian storyline that is building up nicely. They only got about 4 minutes, it broke down fast and Sheamus pinned Otunga. I think Sheamus should stick with the Brogue Kick as his finisher instead of the Celtic Cross (Razor’s Edge) because it looks a lot more painful. The Celtic Cross isn’t devastating the way he does it. It’s like he’s gently laying the guy down to the mat. The pump kick to the face looks better. I’m hoping for a 15 minute match between Sheamus & Christian at the HIAC PPV in two weeks.
Backstage, referee Chad Patton told Triple H he was concerned for his safety after Miz & Truth beat up referees at the PPV. Hunter told him it would be okay and that he’d deal with them when they get there. Del Rio complained to Hunter about the matches he makes and said he prayed Vince was back. Hunter told him that he’s been in HIAC before and that Del Rio should pray before going into that match. The Vince mentions likely mean he’ll be back on TV soon. That’s the big rumor going around anyway.
Alberto Del Rio d. John Morrison (SQUASH)
I timed it at about 50 seconds. John Morrison went from potential future main eventer to full time jobber lately. He deserves better. The point of this was to make ADR look good after losing the title. It did do that, but Morrison’s credibility is lower than it has ever been. You can’t expect fans to believe Del Rio is a threat after he had such a quick title reign. You can try, but fans will see him as a loser because he lost the title the first time he faced Cena.
Ring announcer Justin Roberts brought out guest star Hugh Jackman to the ring. Crowd was excited to see him. He is definitely one of the biggest names they’ve ever had as a guest star. He ran the ropes pretty well too. Better than some of the talent haha. He mentioned hosting the Oscars, but that it was nothing compared to this. Yeah, there were way more people watching that. He plugged his movie Real Steel. Cue Vickie & Dolph. She hit on Jackman and Ziggler said he beat three guys last guys not robots and had the best line of the night when he said “no offense Mason Ryan.” Ha that was hilarious. I guess Ryan is very robot-like. They mentioned the idea of the movie being that Jackman helped an underdog turn it around, so he would find an underdog to fight Ziggler later. The crowd started cheering for Zack Ryder, so good for them for picking up on it. Jackman found a sign that said “Ryder > Wolverine” and brought it into the ring. I thought Jackman did a decent job. Ziggler was great on the microphone. The guy needs to be elevated to the main event level now. He has all the tools.
They showed Miz & Truth arriving. Johnny Ace met them and they apologized for their actions. They seemed legitimately sorry. He told them Triple H wanted to see them.
Cody Rhodes came out. It was supposed to be him versus Sin Cara. Both Sin Caras ended up showing up, Cody was out of the picture and then they posed in the ring opposite eachother. You can tell that the original Sin Cara (Mistico) is a bit smaller than the second one (Hunico). However, when they do have a match they should put them in different clothing. They started fighting, doing a lot of lucha moves. The original Sin Cara got the upper hand. The crowd wasn’t into the wrestling as much as they would have liked although can’t blame them because it was visually confusing. I’d expect more of the same on Smackdown.
In Hunter’s office, he did a bad job of filling up his coffee. That was funny to see him pour such a small amount in. I notice little things sometimes. Anyway, Miz & Truth apologized. Hunter accepted it, but told them that they would be fined $250,000 and expected it to be paid by next Monday. Damn that’s excessive. Yes the money is real to me apparently. Then he told them they’d be facing Punk & Cena later in the show.
At the top of hour two, Jim Ross interviewed new World Champion Mark Henry. Mark cut the same promo about nobody believing him just as he’s done for the past few months. He’s done a great job in this role and they have built him up so well. Then he put his hands on Ross, saying he was a non-believer. JR: “You’re hurting me!” Then Lawler showed up to save Ross. Henry let go of Ross, Lawler threw the first punch, but Henry decked him. He gave him the World’s Strongest Slam. Then they went out to the floor, Henry threw him over the announce table, cleared it off and then put Lawler through the announce table with the World’s Strongest Slam. I guess Lawler was due for a vacation huh? Pretty badass move. Lawler’s legitimately hurt by it, which isn’t surprising considering a 400 pounder is driving a 60 year old man into the ground. Fake table or not, it’s going to hurt. Great angle to put over the power of Henry. He is doing an excellent job. With that said, imagine if they built up talent like this that was ten years younger than him? They could actually have a brighter future. That’s crazy talk, though.
They replaced Ross & Lawler on commentary with Josh Mathews, who joined Cole. Ross wrote on Twitter that he didn’t expect Lawler at Raw next week. Hopefully he’s not hurt too bad if he is at all.
Kelly Kelly & Eve d. Beth Phoenix & Natalya (1/2*)
Eve pinned Natalya with a rollup after less than two minutes. Huh? I don’t understand the booking of this angle. I thought the heels would be dominant to build up the faces. Instead, the heels are looking overmatched. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I really hope there’s a long term plan for this.
Backstage, they showed Hugh Jackman talking to Ryder as they got ready for the match.
They showed a clip of Jackman’s new movie Real Steel. So he’s training robots with feelings? Good to know. I wish that movie the best in its future endeavors.
Zack Ryder d. Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match (*1/4)
Jackman was in Ryder’s corner while wearing a Ryder headband. What a unique look. They worked for about three minutes with the crowd very hot for Ryder. This might have been the best crowd support for Ryder other than when he was in Long Island although that wasn’t on Raw. The ref tossed Vickie after she hit Zack, so Jackman jumped on the apron and punched Ziggler in the face, which led to Ryder hitting the Rough Ryder for the pin. Crowd loved it. I’m assuming this leads to Ryder vs. Ziggler at the HIAC PPV.
I’m a little surprised to say that Jackman did a great job. I’m fine with guest stars being used to further storylines. The problem is when they are involved in ridiculously bad segments that hurt the show I find it to be a pointless endeavor. With that said, I have low expectations for the freakin’ Muppets guest starring on the October 31 edition of Raw.
They aired a video package on Jack Swagger. Does this mean anything? I’m not sure. I remember they did one on John Morrison. Look at where his career has gone.
Backstage, Vickie asked Swagger to join her stable. He said sure. Ziggler wasn’t happy. Who is turning face out of those two? I thought it was Swagger and it should be, but I think there’s a chance it could be Ziggler too. I think Ryder will take the US Title from Ziggler after Swagger screws it up somehow.
They showed Cena & Punk talking in the locker room. They hyped up the main event, the HIAC match and the firing angle. Three angles in one minute of talking. Well done, fellas.
They plugged the Hell in a Cell PPV in two weeks. We already know Cena vs. Del Rio vs. Punk and I assume Henry vs. Orton will be added as they use Orton’s rematch stipulation.
Miz & Truth came out for the main event. I am a fan of the “You Suck” version of Truth’s song.
CM Punk & John Cena d. R-Truth & The Miz (**1/2)
It was a pretty good tag match with an obvious outcome. They got 12 minutes, making it the longest match of the night, and with a commercial in the middle. The deal with Miz & Truth was they were acting nice towards the official as a way to suck up to Triple H. It led to some entertaining moments. I really have enjoyed the pairing of those two guys. Punk ended up getting the win on Miz with the Go To Sleep. Post match, Cena teased attacking Punk, but then he simply raised his hand. There was still time left in the show, so you knew an angle was coming.
After the match was over, Triple H walked onto the stage and told Miz & Truth that they were fired. They were furious obviously.
The camera went backstage where Truth & Miz went after Triple H. All the wrestlers were there, so they broke it up quickly. Hunter instructed them to throw them out of the building, so that’s what happened. It was funny to see them literally thrown out of the building. Then we saw Hunter angrily walking in the backstage area to close out the show.
If you really believe either guy is fired then you’re being foolish. They did the “future endeavors” post on WWE.com already. They put their character names rather than their real names, so I guess that’s their excuse to confuse the 12 year olds out there.
Three Stars of the Show
1. The Miz – Been very entertaining of late.
2. R-Truth – Same as above.
3. Zack Ryder – Looks like he’ll be in a US Title feud with Ziggler. Finally getting a chance. He’s getting over too.
5.5 out of 10
Last week: 4
2011 High Score: 9.1 (March 28)
2011 Low Score: 4 (Jan. 10/May 9)
2011 Average: 5.74
Last 5 Weeks: 4, 4.5, 5, 7.5, 4
I don’t have time for more final thoughts. I am heading out of the town to pick up family members from the airport. I’ll have more Saturday in Canton’s Corner most likely.
To close, I like to do a thing on my Facebook page once in a while that I call “Caption Time.” It’s basically posting a picture from a wrestling show (or could be a random pic) and then inserting funny quotes attributed to the people in the picture. I looked at some of the pics from Raw. I felt like sharing this gem as well as some of my captions for it.
Ziggler: “Do I get a main event push now?”
JTG: “I still work here…right?”
McGillicutty: “This is the genesis of McGillicutty I was talking about!”
JTG: “I’m not fired am I?”
Young: “I’m the star of NXT.”
Triple H: “You two idiots need to realize nobody watches NXT. Who is the wife beater shirt wearing guy?”
McIntyre: “I never should have married a diva. I’m divorced now, guys. I’m the chosen one!”
JTG: “Seriously dude, how the hell am I still employed?”
Triple H: “Goddamn the roster today sucks compared to the Attitude Era!”
Keep checking out thejohnreport.net daily for more articles by our amazing crew of writers and I’ll be back on Saturday with Canton’s Corner as well. Next Wednesday I’ll also have a new column. It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.
Thanks for reading.
John Canton – [email protected]
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