We start off with a video package about the attacks on New York City and Washington D.C from 2001. We then go to the Smackdown that aired on the Thursday after the attacks.
We are live from Miami, Florida and your announcers are Michael ‘For Rock’s birthday, I will be a mute’ Cole, Jerry ‘For Rock’s birthday, I will beat up a mute’ Lawler and Josh ‘For Rock’s birthday, I will give him my Tough Enough tape’ Mathews.
Lillian Garcia is in the ring to sing the National Anthem.
The Rock’s music plays and he comes out to the ring.
FINALLY . . . The Rock has . . . home. Before they get started, Rock has one thing to say. We got him. Rock thanks the proud men and women who continuously and fearlessly fight for our country. Rock says that his family are proud members of the military. He is proud to be an American. There is only one way we are going to start off tonight. Rock wants everyone to say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Rock says that it feels good to be home because it all started here. The doctors and nurses came around and said that this baby sure is called ‘Johnson’. Then the Rock went to high school. He had an afro and mustache and looked like the lead singer of Menudo. They showed a photo of the Rock and after some people laughed, he said that face devoured more pie in one night than King Kong Bundy in a Polish bakery.
Rock says that he went to college at ‘The U’. He says that he brought a National Championship to Miami. He electrified the Orange Bowl and then he went to the WWE where he said a lot of catchphrases. It is time to smell . . . a ding ding.
Michael Cole has a smile on his face as he gets to interrupt the Rock. Cole reads the e-mail and he quotes, but Rock whoas Cole.
Rock tells Cole he can’t hear him. He says that if Cole has the gall to interrupt him on his birthday, he wants Cole to read it to the Rock’s face.
Cole declines but Rock stops him. Rock says that if Cole is scared of him he understands. Rock mentions that Cole has won at Wrestlemania and at Extreme Rules, so he must be a tough guy. He could be a tough guy or the voice of the WWE and read the message to the Rock’s face. He tells Cole to be a man and come in the ring or sit in his glass box and look like a drunk hobbit jackbag bitch.
Cole says that he is not scared of anything. He says that he is not the same person that Rock used to know. Cole says that he has grown into a man. He says that he is a winner. Cole says that he associates with winners. Cole takes off his jacket and removes his shirt to reveal a Celtics jersey. Cole asks the fans of Miami if they are jealous because Boston has more World Championships than anyone. Cole tells Dwayne that he will deliver the message face to face.
Cole walks into the ring and says that the Raw General Manager demands an apology or the birthday party will be shut down before it gets started. Cole says that he wants an apology. He tells Dwayne that he wants an apology for all of the embarrassment that he put Cole through over the years.
Rock tells Cole that he is right. He did disrespect the General Manager at Wrestlemania and he disrespected Cole over the years. Rock has one thing to say to Cole. He is sorry. Rock offers his hand and he wants Cole to shake his hand. He wants Cole to accept his apology.
Cole thinks about it and he shakes Rock’s hand. Cole says thank you for apologizing and then Rock doesn’t let go. Rock tells Michael Cole ‘thank you and Go Heat . . . bitch’. Rock with a Rock Bottom and then it is time for the People’s Elbow.
Rock’s music plays and he wants them to stop the music. Rock says that this is the biggest party in Miami and he introduces Pitbull. He thanks Rock for having him here to represent Dade County.
The Miami Heat dancers come out to join Pitbull.
We go to commercial with some birthday wishes from Dwayne Wade and Lebron James.
We are back with the WWE Rewind; Little Jimmy gets yelled at by R Truth.
Jim Ross has joined Josh and Jerry at the announce table since Michael Cole is otherwise indisposed.
R Truth attacks John Morrison as he comes to the ring so turnabout is fair play.
Match Number One: R Truth versus John Morrison
Before the match starts, Truth sends Morrison into the ringside barrier and he continues to pummel Morrison. Truth with Shut Up on Morrison.
Morrison is helped by the referees to get back to his feet and he holds his neck.
Morrison is met on the stage by Truth who returns from the back and he gives Morrison a Flatline.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for more birthday wishes for the Rock. Jimmy Kimmel wishes him a happy birthday.
Before our first match, we mean it this time, we are told by Jim Ross that doctors are checking on John Morrison.
Match Number One: Maryse versus Kelly Kelly
Maryse pie faces Maryse but Kelly with a kick and bulldog. Kelly screams while she slams Maryse’s face into the mat.
Kharma’s music plays and Kelly and Maryse stay in the ring because they aren’t really that smart. She makes her way to the ring and it is time to break some bigger dolls.
Kharma gets in the ring and she looks at Kelly Kelly while Maryse is still on her back feeling the effect of Kelly’s impressive offense.
Kharma gets Maryse up for the Implant Buster and Kharma laughs like a maniac.
Kelly is frozen in the corner and Kharma walks away.
Miz is in his dressing room and he is staring away. Alex Riley, who is on Smackdown (remember that) arrives and Miz wants to know where he was. Miz also wants to know where he was last night. Alex reminds Miz that he was drafted to Smackdown. Miz reminds Riley that he is under a personal services contract with him and that takes precedence. Miz tells Riley that he will be ringside tonight during his match with Cena. People won’t talk about the Rock tonight, they will talk about him winning the WWE Title.
We go to commercial with more birthday wishes. Paul Walker is the person who gives him the birthday wishes.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for more birthday wishes for the Rock and it is Samuel L. Jackson and he is sick and tired of these multi-filthy snakes on these multi-filthy promos.
Rock is in the party room with the Divas and he is talking about how he was singing happy birthday for Michelle Obama. He thanks them all for getting dressed up for the party (because Rock sure isn’t). Rock sees Teddy Long and he wishes him a happy birthday. Vladimir Kozlov tells Rock that he has written a movie script for Rock’s birthday. Santino is dressed up like Rock’s character on Fast Five. Santino’s chin is ticklish.
The Half Scorpion King appears at the party and he has a toothache. Great Khali is dressed as the Tooth Fairy and he fist bumps his Get Smart co-star.
Rock says that he has the perfect person for the perfect type and Ron Simmons appears for his DAMN cameo.
John Cena and Miz are walking in the back (along with Alex Riley a few steps behind Miz in the background) as we go to commercial.
We are back and Steve Carell is giving a hostage style video forcing him to wish Dwayne Johnson a happy birthday and he is disappointed that he isn’t being paid to do this.
Match Number Two: John Cena versus The Miz with Alex Riley for the WWE Title
They lock up and Miz with a side head lock on Cena and he locks it in. Cena with a hip toss and drop kick. Cena with an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall. Miz with a kick followed by punches but Cena punches back. Cena knocks Riley off the apron and Miz takes Cena down and Miz punches and kicks Cena.
Miz sends Cena to the floor and the referee is distracted by Miz so Riley can hit Cena with a clothesline. Cena is sent into the ring steps and then they return to the ring. Miz gets a near fall.
Miz waits for Cena to get up for the Awesome Clothesline and Miz mixes things up with the right arm. Miz with a double sledge from the turnbuckles for a near fall.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Miz with a knee lift followed by a neck breaker for a near fall. Miz kicks Cena in the corner and he punches him. The referee pulls Miz out of the corner but Miz returns to the attack. Miz waits for Cena to get back to his feet with an AWESOME Clothesline but Cena moves out of the way. Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb and it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena tries to finish the Legendary Sequence with an Attitude Adjustment but Miz gets out of the hold and he kicks Cena in the head. ,P> Miz tries for a boot to the head but Cena with an STF. Miz gets to the ropes and the referee calls for Miz to release the hold. Miz with a kick to the knee and a DDT for a near fall. Miz exposes the turnbuckle pad while Riley distracts the referee. Miz tries to send Cena into the turnbuckle but Miz is stopped.
Miz with the Reality Check combination but he can only get a two count. Miz shows frustration about how he hasn’t won yet. Miz signals for the Skull Crushing Finale but Cena backs Miz into the referee and the referee is knocked out. Cena locks in the STF and Miz taps, but there is no referee.
Riley tries to interfere but Cena stops him. Miz gets Riley up for Attitude Adjustment. Miz hits Cena and hits the Skull Crushing Finale. The referee takes a while to make the count so Cena is able to kick out at two.
Cena with the Attitude Adjustment but Miz kicks out. Riley runs around the ring to distract the referee so Miz can hit Cena with the title belt and Miz gets the three count.
After the match, Miz celebrates in the ring with Riley. The referee wonders how the belt got into the center of the ring and he changes the decision and disqualifies Miz.
John Cena is still your champion.
After the smoke clears. Cena clotheslines Riley and Miz and then they get Attitude Adjustments.
We go to commercial with some more birthday wishes for the Rock and it is Ellen Degeneres.
We are back and Tyler Perry, not dressed like Madea, wishes Rock a happy birthday.
It is time to see John Cena let the people of Tampa know about Osama bin Laden.
Alberto Del Rio is introduced so he can do commentary.
Match Number Three: Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston versus Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger in a You might remember these guys from Friday
Swagger and Rey start and Swagger with a waist lock take down into a front face lock. Swagger punches Rey in the corner followed by an Irish whip but Rey with a kick. Rey with a head scissors that sends Swagger into the corner. Rey with a bronco buster and then he picks up Swagger so Kofi can mount him in the corner and he punches away. Kofi with an English uppercut followed by a forearm.
Kofi with a boot to Swagger but Drew with a clothesline from the apron as we go to commercial.
We are back and Swagger and Kofi are in the ring and Kofi tries to make the tag but Swagger stops him. Drew tags in and he punches Kofi. Drew with forearms to the back and he stomps on Kofi’s chest. Kofi gets a near fall with a rollup but Drew stops Kofi from making the tag and Drew gets a near fall with a jackknife cover. Swagger tags back in and Kofi tries to fight out of the corner.
Swagger with forearms to the back and then he puts Kofi in a front face lock. Kofi tries to get to his corner but Drew distracts the referee and Swagger knocks Rey down. Drew tags back in and he walks across Kofi’s chest. Kofi with a kick to the head but Drew with a forearm to the back.
Kofi with elbows to Drew and Drew tries for a belly-to-back suplex but Kofi lands on his feet and he tags in Rey. Rey with a head scissors followed by a round kick and he gets a near fall and Swagger breaks up the cover. Swagger picks up Rey and Rey kicks Drew into the ropes. Kofi sends Swagger to the floor. Kofi with Trouble in Paradise to Drew and Drew goes into the ropes. Del Rio gets up from the announce table but Rey hits the dive from the top turnbuckle for the three count.
Winners: Rey Mysterio and Kofi Kingston
After the match, Del Rio goes into the ring, but Rey stops him.
We go to footage from an anti-bullying event in Washington DC that Triple H appeared at.
The next person not bullied into wishing the Rock a happy birthday is Ludacris.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Did You Know that the Smackdown after the 9/11 attacks were the first major public gathering.
Dan Marino is the next to wish Rock a happy birthday.
Christian is in the party room with the Rock and Rock tells him that he is proud of him. Evan Bourne gets to talk to Rock before Vickie excuse mes herself into the room. Vickie says that even though no one wished her a happy birthday, her and Dolph got her a present. They pull apart the cake to reveal Mae Young.
Rock tells Vickie that she can lose all the weight she wants and Vickie will never look as good or as beautiful as Mae Young. Rock thanks Mae for showing up for his birthday. Rock kisses Mae and then he tells Dolph that he gets more pie in one night than Dolph does in an entire lifetime.
John Cena appears and he tells Rock that he brought a gift that only he can give him. He holds up the WWE Championship. Cena says that he will keep it until Wrestlemania 28. This makes the biggest match in Wrestlemania history even bigger. If Rock wants it, he will have to go through him. Rock tells Cena to just bring it.
Cena wishes Rock a happy birthday and leaves.
Kane is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back with another birthday wish. This time it is from George Lopez.
Match Number Four: Kane versus Mason Ryan with CM Punk
They lock up and Ryan sends Kane to the mat. They lock up again and Kane is sent to the floor. Kane returns to the ring and Kane with a side head lock and Ryan stays on his feet after Kane tries for a shoulder tackle. Ryan with a clothesline and a slam. Ryan punches Kane followed by a hard Irish whip. Ryan with an Irish whip but Kane with a boot and uppercut. Kane with an Irish whip and then he hits a splash in the corner.
Punk interferes and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Kane by by disqualification
After the match, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty join the fray. Kane tries for a choke slam but Ryan powers out of the hold and then he hits an uranage.
Show makes his way to the ring and he goes after McGillicutty, Otunga, and Punk. Ryan with a spear to Show. Mason Ryan walks off and Punk wonders what is going on.
Punk, Otunga, and McGillicutty are at ringside and they look at Ryan on the stage.
Who cares about that because it’s Rock’s birthday. The next birthday wishes come from Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Craig Ferguson wishes Rock a happy birthday.
It is time for the main event and it is going to be the Rock doing that birthday thing.
The people in the crowd put on their party hats (but they won’t put their bags over their heads when Cody Rhodes shows up). Rock wants to know if everyone has had fun tonight. Rock thanks everyone for coming out to support him and for making it one of the best nights in his life.
Rock thanks his family, who are in the crowd as well as his family watching at home. Rock wants to thank the WWE too.
Rock says that as a proud Hurricane and a proud son of Miami, next year’s Wrestlemania will be the biggest Wrestlemania of all time.
There is NO CHANCE that Vince McMahon wouldn’t miss a birthday party.
Vince wishes Rock a happy birthday and thanks him for allowing him to let us share his birthday with him. Vince thanks Rock for pulling him aside to ask to bring the WWE to heights that no one has ever done. Vince says that Rock has taken them to levels no one else ever did before.
Vince thanks Rock for his respect, his passion, his humanity, and giving the crowd the opportunity to say ‘what’ (and they what). He thanks Rock for his love of life and devotion. He thanks the Rock for being The Rock. On behalf of the WWE, they have put together a birthday present. Vince tells Rock of all of the thank yous, he thanks Rock for coming home.
We see a video package showing the Rock through the years.
It is time for someone to sing Happy Birthday to the Rock and it is going to be performed by Mya.
Rock thanks everyone and then it is time to smell as we go to credits. Who wants confetti and balloons?
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