The John Report: TNA Impact for 12/09/10

This is combo play by play and analysis because I watched it online as I wrote it as opposed to writing after watching on TV.

 


 

We start with Bischoff, Flair and company (Immortal & Fortune) having a meeting in the office. Everything they’ve done is in legal limbo. Bischoff yells at AJ Styles for losing the TV Title. “No more losers.” Leading to AJ turning face? Could happen. I think he should be the top face in the company. To end it Rhino shows up asking for a contract, then Bischoff writes “NO” and Rhino goes after it before Immortal breaks it up.

Immortal comes out. Not Hogan, but everybody else is there. Bischoff introduces the World Champion Jeff Hardy. They call out Matt Morgan, who comes out with a pipe. Bischoff doesn’t want him to fight and said he saw his match. Says he could have won the belt and then he kisses his ass. Then he blames Anderson for costing him the match. He wants Anderson to wrestle Morgan next week with the winner facing Jeff Hardy for the belt. Morgan says Anderson’s not ready to compete, but Bischoff says that’s his only option. Morgan walks off in a huff.

Backstage, Bubba says anybody could have been Devon over the years. Then he’s got a new partner that shouts the Devon line.

They introduce the Knockout Tag Team Title tournament. They say Hamada & Taylor Wilde can’t defend because of visa and passport issues. Actually they got fired, but good storyline excuse.

Brother Ray comes out with some black guy who is a lot skinnier than Devon.

Brother Ray & “Devon” d. Ink Inc. (*1/4)
We don’t get a name for his partner, but Ray gives him tips during the match. “Devon” missed a headbutt off the top. They got control back and “Devon” got the table. It backfired. They hit their Mooregasm finish for the win. So the story is Bubba’s idea that anybody could be Devon was wrong.

Post match, Bubba (I don’t like saying Brother Ray) kicked the kid in the back of the head. He went to put him through the table when the real Devon ran down. The announcers said they’d have a match at Genesis.

Backstage, Tara was working on her singing. It was awful. It’s like a parody. She’s got Generation Me back there and she takes off their shirts, telling them to go out there with her.

Backstage, Hemme’s on her cell phone when Matt Morgan walks by asking if she’s seen Anderson.

Tara comes out singing her song. She’s clearly lip synching and even throws in some silly dancing, as does Generation Me. Ooh there’s my girl Mickie James-Canton with a bitchslap. Gen Me holds her. Then Eric Young takes care. The girls start brawling all the way down to the ring. Security breaks it up. They keep going, though. Mickie goes in the ring and invites her into the ring. Mickie grabs a microphone and says they can’t stand eachother, so there’s only one way to settle it. She says they should do a steel cage match, but she can’t wait. They should do it tonight. Mickie vs. Tara in the cage later.

Backstage, Beer Money talks to Gunner & Murphy about beating up Motor City Machine Guns. They filmed it as if it was a secret and the cameras were picking up on it.

Jeff Jarrett talked about his MMA challenge where he’d offer up $100,000 of his own money. What a thrill.

Motor City Machine Guns d. Gunner & Murphy via DQ (*1/2)
The champs versus security guys. Storm & Roode are on commentary. Well, it’s just Storm. It’s shocking that the Security guys are trained wrestlers, isn’t it? They’re pretty big dudes. Storm says MCMG play video games while Beer Money fights people in bars. The heels worked over Shelley for most of it and Sabin was on fire when he got the tag. I love this team. The match ends when the heels use their knightsticks to attack the champs.

Post match, the Guns use the knightsticks (or billy clubs I guess you could say) to attack Gunner & Murphy. Good job of putting over the Guns being serious.

Backstage, Angelina & Velvet are doing makeup like usual. Winter shows up. Velvet finally sees her. Angelina’s happy that she sees her. She even calls her “dude.” Well that’s just awkward.

Backstage, Morgan and Anderson talked. Morgan tried telling him to be careful when Anderson said he had no choice. Morgan tried to reason with him. Anderson says he has somebody that will clear him to wrestle. This segment went on for a couple minutes. A little too long, really. I guess Matt’s a concerned friend and Anderson is the stubborn guy that wants to fight because he’s been on the sidelines for two months.

The Beautiful People d. Sarita & Daffney (*)
God I love that entrance. Yes I mean TBP’s entrance. Shocking, I know. Sarita cuts a promo on Velvet saying you can’t beat me. Velvet jumps her. They share an exchange for a few minutes. Big pop when Daffney tags in because she’s been out for a while. I like Daffney a lot. Good performer and has a unique look that makes her stand out. That’s important. Velvet comes back and they do the double KO spot with her & Sarita. Hot tag Angelina. Daffney gets the tag. Angelina pins her in about 30 seconds with her finisher. Not a great match, but the right team went over.

Post match, Sarita gets on the microphone to say that Velvet is a loser that will never beat her.

We get a video package for Mickie vs. Tara. Fine by me. It includes the Final Resolution match that ended with Mickie getting pinned on the bathroom floor.

We get a video package for Abyss vs. Pope. Abyss won the casket match at Final Resolution.

Now we’ve got a bunch of dudes, all black guys, coming out with a casket. I guess they are from Pope’s congregation. They open the casket and nobody’s in there, but a church group comes out singing “This Little Light of Mine.” Now Pope’s voice is heard, but we can’t see him. He basically cuts a promo and ends it saying “Pope is Pimping.” And then the segment ends. This was a brutal segment. He’s good as a character, but enough with the caskets. Russo must really miss booking The Undertaker or something.

Backstage, AJ talks to Abyss, giving him a pep talk to beat Doug Williams.

They plugged the TNA tour in Abu Dhabi. That’s pretty cool. At least they made them pay for tickets unlike those in the Impact zone.

Backstage, Mickie talks to the camera about their past, but doesn’t really say what it is. She thought they were grown women and it was over, but she guesses not. She says she’s never been in a steel cage and she doesn’t think Tara has either. That’s coming up in the main event later.

TV Title: Douglas Williams d. Abyss (*1/4)
I like how Williams is booked as a pure wrestler who earns the respect of the crowd. He’s better as a babyface than I thought. It’s not a surprise since he’s a very experienced wrestler, though. They work a slow match and Abyss turns the turnbuckle pad off at one point. Then he powers out into a back body drop. Then like an idiot he charges in, Williams moves, Abyss goes head first into the buckle and Williams rolls him up for the win. Decent match. Too short to be really good, though.

Post match, AJ comes out and gives Williams a Styles Clash on the ramp. That looked pretty awesome. Then he talks some trash telling him not to use his move again (Williams pinned him with it at the PPV).

They show Jeff Jarrett walking out for his challenge.

Backstage, Tara says if Mickie wants a steel cage she’s got it. They didn’t close in on her boobs as much this time. That’s a shame. Gen Me was there to support her.

It’s time for the Jeff Jarrett MMA challenge or the Double J Double M challenge as Tenay calls it. If somebody can beat him he’ll give them $100,000. Come on Jeff. It’s TNA. Nobody gets paid well there. Jarrett ends up taking on a guy named Mike Cruz and makes him tap to the rear naked choke. I assume it’s leading to Kurt Angle being under a hood sometime, Angle picks him and he makes Jarrett tap out to get the money. Has to be something like that. I give credit for getting good heat during these segments. People are really hating him right now.

They showed a video on RVD because I guess they didn’t book him for the tapings. So there ya go.

Steel Cage Match: Mickie James d. Tara (***1/4)
Mickie James-Canton comes out first. She’s in the ring waiting for Tara, who is reluctant about getting in there, so Mickie goes after her. Mickie beats her up on the floor and throws her back in. Cage is locked. Commercial time. Cool cage like outfit by Tara that shows off her girls. Mickie’s rocking the cowgirl motif and the shorts that we like to call the Mickie Dukes. Daisy who? It’s pretty unique to see two women in a main event. I’m not complaining obviously. The feud’s been good and it’s unique to have a women’s cage match, so why not put it in the main? Wow they did a crazy spot off the top with Mickie going for a headscissors, Tara’s standing on the middle rope and counters the headscissors with something looking like a powerbomb. That was a nasty bump. Tara whips her into the side of the cage, so Mickie’s back goes into it. And again. Tara tries to escape the cage, but Mickie keeps her from doing that. Tara fights back, goes for a Widow’s Peak, but MJ avoids that and throws Tara into the cage a few times. There you can see where Tara hurt her elbow. She got a torn ligament in her elbow and you can see it swelling up. She is badass for working through that. Wow. Tara climbs up, but Mickie kicks her off. Tara’s in a lot of pain with the elbow. Mickie climbs all the way up. She stands up and hits a Thesz Press off the top of the cage for the win! WOW! That was an amazing finish to the match. She’s favoring her right knee post match, but good news is it’s nothing too serious. Match was 11 minutes.

The show ends with security checking on Tara while Mickie tells her it’s finished now.

Final Thoughts
I continue to wish they used Jeff Hardy more on Impact. He’s the World Champion, yet he’s barely out there. Bischoff is the one talking. Not Jeff. And I think that hurts the champ. It continues every week. More Jeff Hardy means a better show.

It’s a good thing if they turn AJ Styles babyface. The problem is they turn too many people too often, but he needs to be the face of the company. That’s where he’s most valuable.

I know that people will accuse me of bias because I’m friends with Mickie, but this was a really good match especially for women working in an environment they weren’t used to. It’s a shame that Tara got hurt bumping into the cage. That’s part of the danger of it. It’s a good thing it happened at the end, so they were able to go into the finish. It was the best women’s match in TNA or WWE this year. I think their match two PPVs ago was the second best too. A terrific ending to a great feud. Now Mickie will move on to TNA Knockout Champion Madison Rayne. Works for me.

There are way too many backstage segments on this show. And that’s a common theme every week.

To the bookers credit, though, there were less silly things out there. Sure, Tara’s singing was a joke and it was portrayed as a joke, but most of the booking was done for serious angles that progressed a lot of stories well. And for that I give this show a rating slightly above average. That, plus my girl MJC rocked it in the main event. Got to love that.

Rating: 6 out of 10

Thanks for reading.

John Canton – [email protected]
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