TNA iMPACT Report – June 3rd

TNA iMPACT Report – June 3rd, 2010
Report by Richard Trionfo, PWInsider

 


 

Tonight: AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian and Jay Lethal face off in a three way encounter. But before that, let’s head to the ring for our opening promo with the #1 contender himself, Sting. Sting says that not everything is as it seems, and if you’ve followed his career, you know he’s been portrayed as an antagonist before and explanations will not do, and he doesn’t feel like he owes anyone an explanation anyway. But he does promise that there are meanings behind his actions, and those meanings will be known to all of us soon. But first, at Slammiversary, when he takes the title, the veil will be lifted and everybody’s true colors will be exposed. At this point the lights go out and we go to a video of Sting brutalizing Jeff Jarrett, Rob Van Dam, and Eric Bischoff. Speaking of Bischoff, he comes hobbling out on a crutch with Miss Tessmacher in tow, and he says that we just saw Sting’s true colors, and he’s known Sting for almost 20 years, but he’s not the man Bischoff has known. He says Sting has been pretending to be a superhero for so long that he’s even fooled himself into believing it, but now he’s showing his true colors with some of the things he’s done. He says that whatever’s going on in Sting’s head are his own issues and they have nothing to do with TNA, and he says that he and Hogan are not Sting’s problem, Sting is his own problem. Sting puts himself before everything else, and that’s not the way we do things around here. Bischoff declares that Sting will be in action right now, and his opponent is…standing right behind him.

Sting vs Samoa Joe

Joe jumps Sting right at the bell and starts kicking the hell out of him in the corner, but within seconds, Matt Morgan comes running out and jumps Joe from behind, choking him on the bottom rope while Sting puts the boots to Joe. RVD’s music hits, and he comes running out to make the save. RVD clears Morgan out of the ring, and Sting uses the distraction to bail out to the floor. Let’s call this…

No Contest

Bischoff comes back out and says that it’s not over, this match is going to continue later on tonight, but this time it will be a tag match pitting Joe and RVD against Sting and Morgan. RVD grabs a mic and says that as champion, he’s sometimes expected to speak for everyone, and says that they should make it a four way. Bischoff says he doesn’t have that authority, and that he’ll have to check with Hogan. Fortunately, we won’t have to wait that long because here comes the Orange Goblin himself. Hogan says that since winning the TNA World Title, RVD has raised the bar sky high, and as the champion, RVD has a lot of stroke, so RVD has his wish: tonight’s main event will be RVD vs Samoa Joe vs Matt Morgan vs Sting. Sounds good to me!

We go backstage to Christy Hemme with AJ Styles, who is pissed that he just found out he’s in a three way tonight. Ric Flair comes in with Frankie Kazarian, who thanks Flair for all the faith Flair’s had in him. Flair said that tonight’s going to be in for Jay Lethal tonight with both AJ and Kazarian in there. Kazarian goes to leave with Flair, but stops to thank Flair for the real nice watch he got him. Flair shares a laugh with Kazarian as AJ looks on in disbelief.

Rosey Lotta Love vs Roxxi

Rosey looks like one of the fat old ladies they used as ring girls in the really early days of Monday Night Raw. Roxxi chain wrestles around Rosey to stary, but Rosey escapes and bowls over Roxxi with a pair of shoulderblocks and a big slam. Rosey whips Roxxi into the corner, but Rosey misses an avalanche and Roxxi starts the comeback with a roaring elbow and a dropkick, but as Roxxi comes off the ropes, Madison Rayne jumps out of nowhere and nails Roxxi with the Knockouts belt. Rosey sees this and stops to argue with Madison, and the distraction allows Roxxi to…um, large package Rosey for the win.

Winner: Roxxi

Madison gets in the ring and starts screaming at Rosey, but Rosey casually grabs her by the throat and chokeslams her. Rosey walks up the ramp where she is stopped for comments by JB, and she says that the Beautiful People think they can take out one ugly person at a time, but she’s going to go through all of the Beautiful People one by one because she’s big, bad, and beautiful. Then she plants a big kiss on JB and heads to the back.

AJ Styles vs Frankie Kazarian vs Jay Lethal

AJ bails out of the ring as soon as the bell rings and leaves Kazarian and Lethal to go it alone. Lethal takes out Kazarian with a clothesline, and now AJ jumps in the ring and attacks Lethal. Lethal turns the tables and gets a big flying headscissors, but got disrupted midway through the Lethal Combination by Kazarian. Now AJ and Kazarian start arguing over who gets to go after Lethal, allowing Lethal an opportunity to hit a clothesline/bulldog combo. Lethal goes for a springboard something on AJ, but Kazarian shoves AJ out of the way and catches Lethal coming in with a Diamond Cutter. AJ hits a backbreaker on Lethal and then they stop to argue some more. Now they try to one up one another, as Kazarian hits a hiptoss into a suplex. AJ and Kazarian go back to arguing, allowing Lethal yet another opportunity to recover and make a comeback, but AJ catches a flying headscissors out of nowhere and then he and Kazarian go for a double suplex, but they both try a different suplex and it leads to another argument. AJ goes for a springboard forearm, but Kazarian casually backs into the ropes and AJ comes crashing down to the mat, allowing Lethal to catch AJ with an O’Connor Roll for the win.

Winner: Jay Lethal

Flair gets in the ring and says that he gave AJ the gift of being Ric Flair’s protege, and just now AJ got beat by Jay Lethal. AJ tries to explain that it was Kazarian’s fault, but Flair said not to worry about Kazarian because he lost the World Title, he’s confused, and he needs to go home, look in the mirror, and decide what he wants to be. He tells AJ to go home and think and then give him a phone call, but for now he’s outta here because when Ric Flair gives you the gift, you don’t drop the ball. Now Kurt Angle’s music hits and he comes up to the ramp in his lift and stares down AJ, and AJ is so frustrated that he just walks off. Kurt comes down to the ring, and we’ll hear from him…after this commercial!

We’re back, and Kurt Angle says he came out to show Frankie Kazarian the proper respect before he makes him his first victim. He likes his opponents to know what he’s going to do to them before he does it. He said he gave up his Top Ten ranking to start from the bottom up, so he wants Kazarian at Slammiversary. Flair takes over and says that Angle just walked by him without saying a word, but he and Flair have a lot of history together, and Flair wanted his youngest son to be just like Kurt Angle, and he told Angle that no amateur wrestler has transitioned to pro wrestling the way Kurt Angle has. But now Angle’s in Flair’s world, and he is God here, and he shows Angle his medals (his ring and his watch) and he says he’s got the respect of Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, and Steve Austin, and until he gets that respect from Angle, he can take a walk just like AJ. Angle goes to leave but Flair stops him and says that he has a better idea: Flair can leave first and Angle can hold the rope. Angle holds the ropes so Flair can leave, but comes out after him and throws him off the ramp. Kazarian runs out and jumps Angle from behind and tosses him back in the ring, but Angle fires off a few rights at Kazarian and Kazarian bails out.

We go backstage as Matt Morgan is telling Sting that they’ll both do anything to win the World Title, so tonight, they should work together and let the chips fall where they may. Sting pauses for a brief second and then just walks off.

We go elsewhere backstage, as AJ Styles is talking to himself, and he says that to get back in Flair’s good graces, he needs to kill Jay Lethal, so he’s going to go ask Bischoff to make a match between Lethal and himself at Slammiversary.

We see a video package detailing the history between Ken Anderson and AJ Styles, and then we go to the ring with Christy Hemme, who introduces her guest, Ken Anderson. Anderson says he was preparing for all kinds of probing questions about his big announcement, but seems to have become distracted by her boobs. That doesn’t make him a chauvanist or a pig, but maybe an…asshole? The crowd goes nuts for that one. Anderson says everyone’s waiting for a wardrobe malfunction, so that makes everyone here an asshole. The crowd starts chanting “we are assholes”. Anderson makes his announcement and says that he challenged Beer Money to a match at Slammiversary, but he can’t do it alone, so now he’s going to introduce his partner…Jeff Hardy! Hardy comes down to the ring, and he gives Anderson the pound. Hardy knows people might be confused about why he would team with Anderson, but he has to admit that he’s the funniest asshole he’s ever met and the craziest SOB in TNA other than himself. It’s going to be a party at Slammiversary, and Anderson makes sure to let Hardy know that he’s not just an asshole, but a cheap asshole too, so Slammiversary’s going to be BYOB. Beer Money comes out and Roode says it’s cute how Hardy and Anderson have become BFFs, but asks them what they really know about tag wrestling. Roode says Matt carried Jeff and they sucked anyway, and tag wrestling isn’t about looking cool or being friends or anything like that, it’s about being like brothers, putting your egos aside, and putting the team first, and it’s pretty obvious they’re a mismatch. Roode wants to know what makes them think they’ll be a match for Beer Money at Slammiversary? Anderson says this may be off the subject, but wants to know why Roode’s hair is always wet, and why Storm always wears sunglasses inside because the only people who do that are blind people and jackoffs. Storm calls Anderson a funny man and says he does a stand up act of his own, and wants to show it to Anderson. His stand up act consists of jumping Anderson and Hardy and breaking out into a brawl. Fortunately, two of these guys are in our next match…

Jeff Hardy vs James Storm

They start by brawling around on the floor, with Hardy getting the better of Storm. Hardy pulls back the mats on the floor and hiptosses Storm on the exposed concrete. Hardy tosses Storm back in the ring as the bell rings to officially start the match. Storm catches Hardy coming in and DDTs him off the second rope for 2, then takes off his shirt and chokes Hardy with it. Storm with a running boot to the head of Hardy and covers for 2, then we HIT THE CHINLOCK! Hardy fights out, but Storm catches him with an STO for another 2. Storm grabs a chair from ringside, but the referee grabs it away from him, allowing Hardy to hit a chinbreaker. They exchange blows but Hardy takes the advantage with a series of clotheslines and then sets up the chair for the triple jump dive into the corner. Storm escapes the Twist Of Fate, but Hardy with a gourdbuster, pulls the shirt off goes up top, but Storm nails him before he can hit the Swanton. Storm goes up top and goes for a top rope Frankensteiner, but Hardy holds on and Storm comes crashing down, and Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for 2. Storm takes a sip from his beer and spits it in Hardy’s face, then hits the Eye Of The Storm…for 2! Storm grabs the chair against and swings it at Hardy, but Hardy moves and the chair bounces off the top rope back into Storm’s face and knocks him silly, allowing Hardy to go up top and hit the Swanton for the win.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

After a commercial break, we go right into our next match…

Robert Roode vs Ken Anderson

Anderson comes right out, no posing, no mic, and gets right in the ring. They go to the corner and Anderson nails Roode. Roode comes back with a shoulderblock but misses an elbowdrop and Anderson gets a headlock. Roode sends Anderson off into the ropes and drops down, but Anderson with a knee to the back, then rolls Roode up for 2. Roode bailed to the floor and Anderson went out and gave chase, but Roode caught Anderson with a lowblow coming back into the ring and starts putting the boots to him. Roode with the Mr Perfect necksnap for 2 then chokes Anderson with his boot. Roode with a neck vice, Anderson escapes and they do a reversal sequence that leads to Anderson hitting a backdrop. Roode goes to the eyes and tries a corner charge, but Anderson gets the boot up and goes for a sunset flip, but Roode cradles Anderson and gets the ropes for 3.

Winner: Robert Roode

Anderson and Roode have a staredown after the match, then Anderson’s mic drop. Anderson says that any man can be beaten on any day, and he just got beat again. Still, it seems like the only way anyone can beat him is by using chicanery and tomfoolery. The reason they have to do that is because he is no mere mortal, he is…MR AAAAAANDERSON. ANDERSON.

We go backstage to Douglas Williams, who talks about the X-Division style and says he’s here to teach the acrobats how to wrestle because what they’re doing is unbecoming and he’s going to ground them and beat them properly.

Abyss, Rob Terry, and Chelsea are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!

Desmond Wolfe & Orlando Jordan vs Abyss & Rob Terry

Orlando is again wearing the Rob Terry pasties and also has a “workout device” that seems designed to simulate an obscene act. Terry is still hobbling around with his knee taped up. Orlando nails Abyss from the outside, allowing Wolfe an opening to go after the arm of Abyss and fire repeated forearms at it in the corner. Orlando tags in and comes off the top with a double axhandle to the arm. Orlando comes off the ropes right into an elbow from Abyss, who follows up with a clothesline in the corner and then pitches Orlando WAY over the ropes. Orlando lands at the feet of Chelsea, and seems mesmerized by her body. Orlando sweet talks her, but Chelsea slaps him, leading to a hilarious segment where Desmond yelled at Orlando for hitting on his girl, and then yells at Chelsea that he doesn’t know whether Orlando likes her or him, but that ends when Abyss comes after Desmond on the floor. Meanwhile, Terry yanks Orlando over the top rope and gives him the Freakbuster for the win.

Winners: Rob Terry & Abyss

We go to a video package detailing the history between Jesse Neal and Team 3D, mixed it with comments from Devon, who says that Jesse’s just doing what they taught him and Brother Ray’s letting it get to him, and he needs to stay between them or it’ll get ugly.

We go backstage where Jesse Neal has been laid out, and has a playing card resting on his chest, just like Shannon Moore last week.

It’s main event time!

Rob Van Dam vs Sting vs Samoa Joe vs Matt Morgan

Joe and Morgan go at it right from the bell as Sting beats up RVD at ringside. Morgan misses a charge in the corner and Joe hits a running forearm and a leaping enziguiri and they head to the floor as Sting and RVD make their way into the ring. RVD with a spinkick, atomic drop, clothesline, and superkick to send Sting to the floor, and now it’s RVD and Joe in the ring! This ought to be fun…but before they can hook it up, Morgan and Sting get back in the ring and attack them. Morgan chokes Joe in the corner and then they go back to the floor as Sting tries the Stinger Splash, but RVD gets an elbow up and hits a leaping jump kick and the Rolling Thunder for 2. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with a roaring lariat, but Joe tosses him to the floor and nails Sting with a superkick, but Morgan breaks up the fall. Morgan sends Joe into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline before giving Joe a side suplex. Morgan with an F5/uranage combo and the rapid fire elbows in the corner, but then Morgan sees Hernandez up in the crowd! The distraction is enough for Joe to enziguiri Morgan from behind and give him the Muscle Buster, but instead of going for the pin he stands up and eats a superkick from RVD, who follows that up with a Five Star Frog Splash on Morgan for the win.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

RVD celebrates in the ring and we’re off the air

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