TNA Impact Wrestling Report – 1/23/15

We start off with a video package reintroducing us to the Feast or Fired concept, and then we go right to the match!

Feast Or Fired: Gunner vs Jessie Godderz vs DJ Z vs Robbie E vs Eddie Edwards vs Davey Richards vs Bram vs Brutus Magnus vs Austin Aries vs Spud vs Crazzzzzzzzzzy Steve vs Sam Shaw

The bell rings and everyone goes at it. Crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy Steve blocks Robbie from climbing up to a briefcase while the Wolves hold Gunner down. Velvet Sky gets on the apron to distract Steve with her ass, but he no-sells it, so she climbs up to do more of the same and that distracts him just long enough for Robbie E to slam him off the corner, hold Velvet up to grab the briefcase for him, and he takes off as Steve chases him to the back. Spud tries to climb up for one of the briefcases, but he isn’t tall enough to reach it, and Jessie slams him down. Spud outmaneuvers Jessie and DJ Z, as well as the Wolves, and then Bram and Magnus, and he’s the last man left in the ring! He rushes back up one of the corners…but Sam Shaw is there and drags Spud back down and tosses him clear across the ring. Shaw goes up, but Gunenr shoves him off, Aries hits Gunner with an IED, and Spud tosses Aries, then climbs up on Shaw’s back and uses him as a stepstool to get one of the briefcases. Jessie shoves Aries to the floor as he goes up for one of the briefcases, but turns around right into the assisted Alarm Clock by the Wolves, who double howl and go for a dive…but are stopped by Angelina Love shaking her ass now. Aries takes them both out with a double clothesline and goes for the heat seeking missile…then stops at the last minute and goes up the corner to get one of the briefcases. Then he hits the dive. That Aries. He heads to the back, and we’re down to one briefcase as Gunner throws his twin Bram into the ring and I use Gunner’s tattoos as a helpful reference to tell them apart. Bram and Gunner duke it out on the top rope, Magnus powerbombs them both to the mat, and he climbs up to get the last briefcase.

Winners: Robbie E, Spud, Austin Aries, and Brutus Magnus

Bram is pissed that Magnus got the briefcase, and yells at him that it was his.

the Mystery Cameraman finds Bobby Lashley backstage and asks him what he’s going to do about MVP tonight. Lashley says he’s going to the ring to get his damn title back.

Magnus is backstage saying that he feels pretty lucky about his briefcase, but Bram comes in and starts yelling at him for taking “his” briefcase. Magnus says it was every man for himself, and Bram should stop being a baby because he got Bram a job in this company to begin with. They get into a shoving match and have to be separated by security.

Bobby Lashley comes to the ring with a big bandage on his head, and after we see a video package of what happened last week, Lashley tells MVP to bring out his title now. Instead of the title, Kenny King comes out by himself and says that Lashley couldn’t make it in the BDC because he is an unappreciative, ungrateful SOB. King says Lashley didn’t win the title on his own, they helped him because he was part of the family, but Lashley is out of the family now. Everyone here knows Kenny King would be a better champion than Lashley, but Lashley tells him again to bring him his title. King says to get a referee to come out here so he can whip Lashley’s ass, and Lashley says let’s do it, but King says he wants to wrestle in front of people who appreciate him, and the rest of the BDC comes out, with MVP carrying Lashley’s title belt.

TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley vs Kenny King

King catches Lashley and works him over in the corner, but Lashley catches King on a crossbody and press slams him onto the BDC on the floor. Lashley brings King back inside and spears him into the corner before hitting a one-armed, delayed vertical suplex. Lashley tosses King across the ring, but King catches him out of nowhere with a twisting enziguiri, snaps his neck down on the top rope, and springboards back in with…nothing. Lashley dodges the move and spears King, but the rest of the BDC jumps ion and attacks Lashley before he can make a cover.

Winner: Bobby Lashley by DQ

MVP grabs a mic as Joe and Low Ki hold Lashley, and MVP says that if he wants the title back, to see him on the street where he’ll be waiting for him.

Havok is backstage, and she’s…WALKING! She’ll face Gail Kim tonight!

We see a video package showing us Amazing Kong’s history in TNA, then it’s time for a Knockouts match!

Havok vs Gail Kim

They meet on the ramp as Gail makes her entrance, and Gail gets the early advantage on Havok, beating her up outside the ring and then catching her with a flying bodypress for 2 as they come back in. Gail tries the corner crossbody, but Havok catches her and turns it into a suplex, then stomps her down in the corner. Havok squashes Gail with an avalanche in the corner and chokes her on the middle rope, then uses her cape to choke Gail. Havok hits the hammerlock spinebuster, but Gail kicks out at 2, so Havok KILLS her with a running kneestrike to the face. Havok chokes Gail until the referee stops her, and she shoves the referee down to get herself disqualified.

Winner: Gail Kim by DQ

Havok still isn’t done, picking Gail up for a powerbomb, then just dropping her face first onto the ring bell. Havok sends Gail inside and goes to chokeslam her, but the lights go out and Kong is in the ring when they come back up! They go nose-to-nose again, and this time Havok lays in a big shot to Kong, but Kong no-sells and clotheslines Havok over the top to the floor. Havok is really pissed off, but she backs down from Kong.

We look back at last week when Ethan Carter III pushed Jeremy Borash into agreeing to wrestle him, then we’re off to the ring for our next match.

Khoya vs Tigre Uno

Tigre fires off several kicks at Khoya, who is making his in-ring debut. Khoya no-sells everything, and Storm slaps him in the face to fire him up, after which he catches Tigre on a crossbody and tosses him over with a sloppy fallaway slam. Khoya misses a charge and Tigre gets a springboard dropkick, but Khoya drills him with the Rydien Bomb for the win.

winner: Khoya

He looked a little green, but it wasn’t too bad at about two minutes long. James Storm gets a mic and says that it’s duly noted that Matt Hardy has conquered his personal demons, but Storm is different from any demon he could ever face. This is the Revolution, and there’s always room for one more.

Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode are backstage trying to figure out who got screwed worse by the Beat Down Clan. Angle tells Roode he can either work with him and win, or do it alone and lose. They face Low Ki and Eric Young next!

It’s halftime, and Josh Mathews steps out of the broadcast booth to talk a bit about Young’s turn on Bobby Roode and their history since. He goes over the results of Feast or Fired earlier tonight, and we’ll find out who got which briefcase later on tonight.

The Mystery Cameraman catches up with Spud, who says he was willing to fetch coffee just to get a shot in TNA, but after everything he’s been through here, this could be either the biggest or the worst moment in his career when he opens that briefcase.

Kurt Angle & Bobby Roode vs Eric Young & Low Ki

Angle and Low Ki start us off, and Angle quickly runs Ki over with a clotheslines and hits a double clothesline with Roode. Roode with a vertical suplex for 2, Young tags in and Roode goes nuts on him, laying in chops and backdropping Young across the ring. Roode goes for the Roode Bomb, but a kick to the ribs from Low Ki shuts that down and gives Young an opening to hit a DDT for 2. Roode is in the wrong part of town now, and winds up on the receiving end of a great deal of punishment from his opponents. Roode counters a top rope move to a super belly to belly suplex and tags in Angle, who cleans house on both opponents and nearly turns Ki inside out with a suplex before planting him with the Angle Slam. Young breaks up an anklelock attempt, but Roode clears him out and gets Ki in the Crippler Crossface. Angle knocks Young off the apron and grabs the chair he tried to bring in, then goes after Samoa Joe and MVP when they come down the ramp. This leaves Roode along to take a shot from another chair by Young, and Ki cradles Roode for the win.

Winners: Low Ki & Eric Young

I now count three losses for Roode in the three weeks since TNA debuted on Destination America.

MVP is out on the street with the TNA World Title belt telling Lashley that if he wants it, to come get it.

We look at a video package of Spud’s history with the Carter family, then we go to the ring where Ethan Carter III comes out with Tyrus and does his own ring announcement, then introduces Jeremy Borash, who comes out dressed like Eminem from 8 Mile. Hey, remember Eminem? The bell rings, and we’re off!

Ethan Carter III vs Jeremy Borash

EC3 decides to do the Jerry Lawler gimmick and does his own commentary, which Borash cuts off by grabbing the microphone and telling him that the fans say he can’t wrestle, but he sure as hell can’t announce either. He bashes Carter in the head with the microphone, then just goes NUTS beating on Carter in the corner. Carter takes Borash down and smacks him around, then spits on Spud as he stands at ringside. Spud runs in and attacks EC3, but Tyrus comes in and nails Spud with the heart punch. Spud goes down in a heap, but Mark Andrews from season 2 of British Bootcamp comes in and helps Spud clear EC3 adn Tyrus out of the ring. They nail Tyrus with stereo dives to the floor, then the two of them and Borash dare EC3 to coem back to the ring and face them. No official result announcement, but let’s call it…

Winner: Ethan Carter III by DQ

Josh and Taz talk more about Feast or Fired as we go to commercial.

The four men who won the briefcases earlier tonight head into the room with Christy Hemme to learn their fates later on tonight, then we go back to the ring for our next match.

James Storm vs Matt Hardy

they trade blows right from the bell, Hardy comes out on top and drives Storm to the floor, where he hiptosses him onto the entry ramp. Hardy repeatedly rams Storm’s head into the ring steps, then comes off the apron with an elbow to the back of Storm’s head. They go back inside and Hardy covers for 2, but Storm hits a lungblower out of nowhere and goes to work on Hardy’s knee. Hardy ducks a clothesline and hits the Side Effect for 2, then they trade blows in the middle of the ring until Storm hits Closing Time. He sets Hardy up for the Last Call, Hardy escapes and goes for the Twist of Fate, Storm escapes that and goes for the Eye of the Storm, and Hardy escapes that and small packages Storm for the win.

Winner: Matt Hardy

Good match, but way too short. Another couple of guys I’d like to see get twenty minutes. Storm gets down to a knee and offers Hardy a handshake, Hardy flips him off, and Abyss nails Hardy from behind. I kind of have to say Hardy was the jerk in this one. Abyss holds Hardy for Storm to hit the Last Call, then Abyss brings Janice out from under the ring and prepares to nail Hardy with it. Jeff Hardy runs out with a chair, takes out Janice, and lays Abyss out with the Twist of Fate. Storm and Abyss head for the hills, and Jeff tells Abyss that they’ll face off next week in Monster’s Ball.

We go back to the room with Christy as the four men with briefcases are about to find out their fortunes…after this commercial break.

Samoa Joe comes outside the Manhattan Center to stand by MVP in his fight with Lashley, but MVP tells him to go to the back and keep the rest of the Beat Down Clan there because he’s got this.

We go to Christy, who is ready to reveal the contents of each of the briefcases. Robbie E says someone else better prepare to get fired because he has a title shot, and he wants Velvet Sky to know she’s the wind beneath his wings. We start with Spud’s briefcase, and Spud looks worried, but opens the briefcase to reveal that he has earned an X Division Title shot. He’s thrilled with that result, so we go to Magnus, who opens the briefcase and reveals that he’s earned a tag title shot. We’re down to Aries and Robbie, and Robbie starts to freak out, but we’re going to have to wait until after this commercial break to find out who gets a World Title shot and who gets fired.

In the meantime, Lashley is backstage, and he’s…WALKING! He’s headed outside to fight MVP!

We’re back, and it’s time to find out who gets a TNA World Title shot, and who gets fired. Aries feels as confident as could be, but Robbie feels like the stupidest person ever for grabbing the briefcase. But wait, he didn’t grab the briefcase, Velvet did, so he makes her open it. Velvet isn’t happy, but she opens the briefcase and…she’s FIRED! Robbie takes a selfie of himself and the newly-fired Velvet as Aries watches calmly. Robbie says Velvet will find another guy, and he still has a job! Velvet is super distraught, and Aries opens his briefcase for the sake of formality to reveal that he won a TNA World Title shot. That Aries is one smooth guy.

We go to Josh and Taz, who put Robbie over for being a genius, and then point out that nobody has ever successfully cashed in the World Title briefcase.

We go out to the street where MVP and Lashley are ready to go at it, and Lashley gets the early advantage, but MVP gets a couple of shots in and rams Lashley into the door while yelling that he made him. MVP smashes a garbage can over Lashley’s head and lays in more shots and knees to the ribs as sirens blare in the background. They brawl inside and go to the ground where Lashley takes MVP down and hammers him with right hands, but Low Ki, Kenny King, and Samoa Joe run in with Eric Young to beat Lashley down and drag him back outside. The five of them stomp Lashley down on the sidewalk, then hold him so MVP can lay in some free shots. Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode run out and chase the BDC off, then Roode spies the title belt lying on the sidewalk and picks it up. He stares at it for a good long time, but sees Lashley giving him the evil eye. They stare each other down as we call it a week.

Credit: PWInsider

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