We look back at last week when Bobby Lashley defeated Eric Young for the TNA World Title, then we catch up with the new champion, MVP, and Kenny King as they arrive at the arena. Lashley is wearing a 1980s Vince McMahon powder blue suit.
Off to the ring for our first match…
The Beautiful People vs Gail Kim & Taryn Terrell
Gail and Velvet start us off, and Gail easily dominates Velvet before tagging Terrell back in to get some shots in on Velvet as well. Angelina gets in, but she doesn’t have much more luck than Velvet did until Velvet interjects herself from the apron, giving Angelina a quick burst of offense before Terrell takes Angelina out with a clothesline. Velvet again trips Terrell up from the floor, and this time Angelina is able to capitalize and trap Terrell in the BP corner. I’m loving some of the camera angles in this match, by the way. Velvet tags in and hits a BIG running neckbreaker for 2, but Terrell hits her with a bulldog and makes the hot tag to Gail, who comes in and cleans house on Angelina. Velvet nails Gail from behind, but Terrell comes off the top rope with a bodypress, allowing Gail to hti Eat DaFeet on Angelina for the win.
Winners: Gail Kim & Taryn Terrell
Great opener, and one would think that the TNA International Board of Directors would certify Gail as the honest to God #1 contender. That’s the official title of the position, by the way.
Dixie Carter is backstage surrounded by Atlas Security, and she says that she just got some news that proves that it’s great to be Dixie Carter.
MVP comes out to the ring with Kenny King and introduces us to the new TNA World Champion, Bobby Lashley. They’ve got a bunch of chicks with them. MVP says it didn’t happen as quickly as they expected, but they didn’t compromise or give up, and they now have all the power. He’s going to make sure Eric Young is going to be begging for his release by the end of the night, but EY comes out with his arm in a sling and says he won’t be going anywhere. He’s not looking to fight City Hall, he’s looking to tear it down. Young rushes the ring…and gets stomped out. MVP and his crew are standing over EY as Bobby Roode comes out of the crowd and chases them off. We’re at commercial.
We’re back and Team Canada is still in the ring. Roode has a microphone and says 20 years is a long time to know somebody, and they might have their ups and downs, but they share two common bonds: they walked into this company together and signed their contracts on the same day, and they helped build TNA from the bottom up. The other bond they share is they both love the sport of professional wrestling, they eat, sleep, and drink professional wrestling, and they have the desire and passion to wrestle, and seven weeks ago, MVP took all that away from him with his BS suspension. Young came out here and fought every week for the respect of professional wrestling and for the reason they got in the business in the first place: for the TNA World Title. Roode says the games are over, suspended or not, it’s time to get this company back: for himself, for Eric Young, and for the fans. MVP can try to stop him, but for once, he wants MVP to be a man and do it to his face.
MVP says that since Roode loves the business and loves TNA, he’ll come into the ring and talk to him if he can be decent with him for a minute. Roode tells him to get to the point, and MVP says he made a big mistake and then repeated it by coming back here. MVP is still the Director of Wrestling Operations, and in that capacity, he says that Roode is officially…wait, Earl Something Or Another comes out representing the TNA Board of Directors, and tells MVP that he is officially no longer the Director of Wrestling Operations. MVP is livid, but Earl Something says that his replacement will be here shortly to clean up this mess he left behind. Roode says he wants ot be sure that as of right now, MVP is no longer in charge, and once Earl confirms that, Roode knocks MVP on his ass and sends him scurrying out to the floor.
Knux is backstage swearing to someone on the phone that he’ll get them the money. He hangs up and says you need to be a champion to make money in this business, os he tells Crazy Steve to go out there and win the X Division Title so they can pay off his crack dealer. DJ Z comes in and says he should challenge Sanada since he knows him some strong style, then TJ Perkins comes in, tells DJ Z that he’s nobody’s favorite wrestler, then puts his mask on and turns into Manik. He tells Crazy Steve he has something on his face.
Spud is doing Dixie Carter’s hair backstage as she gloats over the magic she worked with the Board to get MVP defrocked. Spud says this means she has to be the one the Board is going to replace MVP with, and she tells him to go get Ethan to be there for her big moment.
We go to the ring as Sanada comes out and asks Manik, Crazy Steve, and DJ Z if they want title matches, then says they’ll all get one right now.
X Division Title Match: Sanada vs Manik vs Crazy Steve vs DJ Z
I’ll make this real simple: they all do spots until Sanada hits a tiger suplex on DJ Z for the win.
Spud knocks on Dixie’s door and tells her it’s time, and she sashays out the door as we go to commercial.
MVP and his crew are in his office getting piseed off over his power getting taken away from him. MVP says he wasn’t anticipating this, and he knows it was Dixie Damn Carter. He’s not going to let her take anything away from him.
Brutus Magnus and Bram are backstage saying they’re not worried about the Monster’s Ball because they did this every day as kids. They’re going out there to hurt someone tonight.
Dixie Carter, her crappy entrance music, and Spud come out to the ring and she says that everyone she ever put faith in, including Bobby Roode and Bully Ray, let her down, and the fans put their hopes behind MVP and now one of his thugs is the World Champion, and the only reason it wasn’t him is because he busted up his knee. Tonight is about her getting complete control of TNA back, and she promises that Dixie Carter 2.0 is going to be better than ever. She calls My Name Is Earl back out, and says this is a bit awkward, but she is not the new Director of Wrestling Operations. She flips out, throws her champagne in Earl’s face, and goes on a rant that this is her ring and they’re getting her out of it only over her dead body. That’s Bully Ray’s cue, and he comes out to the ring as Dixie hides behind Spud in the corner. He explains what’s about to happen: he’s going to kick that **** Spud in the face, then he’s going to drink her champagne, and he thinks Dixie knows what’s going to happen after that. Dixie tries to buy Bully off, and he weighs the options of either taking her money or putting her through a table. He settles on the table, kicks the crap out of Ethan Carter III when he tries to intervene, then picks Dixie up…and Spud knocks the table over. Dixie wriggles out of Bubba’s grasp and Ethan pulls her out to the floor. Bully motions that she was THIS close to going through that table as we go to commercial.
Dixie and Spud are backstage running for their lives, then we cut to Bully Ray, saying that Dixie was this close to going through that table and she better know it’s her destiny.
James Storm vs Ken Anderson
They brawl at ringside and then go inside where Anderson catches Storm with a quick 2 count. Storm’s looking a little hefty as he goes toe to toe with Anderson, but Anderson is still able to hit a Finlay Roll. He seems to have hit his head on the way over and is slow to make a cover, and Storm is quick to hit Closing Time and a lungblower for 2. Storm blocks the Mic Check and hits the Last Call for the win.
Winner: James Storm
The new Director of Wrestling Operations is arriving at the building in…what else, a black limousine. We’ll find out who it is in the last ten second of the show like usual.
We go back to the mental ward where Gunner tells Sam Shaw that the doctors have agreed to release him, but only if it’s into Gunner’s care. Shaw says okay and shakes Gunner’s hand.
James Storm finds Sanada backstage and tells him that Destination X is coming up and asks if he’s ready to try and become the TNA World Champion. He gets too snarky and Sanada gets in his face, but Storm backs down, tells Sanada not to choke, and walks off.
Ethan Carter III is backstage on his cell phone telling Spud that he’s got to come back for him right now when Tommy Dreamer comes out of nowhere and starts beating the CRAP out of EC3. Dreamer destroys the kid, then they head out onto the entry ramp where Dreamer goes all ECW by smashing a trash can over him, then taking a bottle of water from a fan and spewing a mouthful of water in EC3’s face. EC3 hits Dreamer in the ding ding and then slams him on the ramp, but Dreamer suplexes Carter on the floor. EC3 smashes Dreamer into the ring steps, but Dreamer returns the favor, then EC3 rams Dreamer into the ring post. They go into the ring where Dreamer unloads on EC3 with right hands and chews on his face, and a bunch of officials run out to separate them.
Abyss is backstage with Willow and says that Magnus and Bram are going to feel pain, then Willow is Willow and does the Willow laugh.
MVP and company are heading out to the parking lot to introduce themselves to MVP’s replacement as we go to commercial.
MVP and his book club friends head out to the limo and drag the driver out to ask who he brought here. MVP has to tell Lashley to let go of the guy because he yanked him up by the shirt so much that it covered his face and left him unable to talk. The guy said he wasn’t at liberty to say, so King suckerpunches him and Lashley tosses him over the hood of the car. They laugh about it and walk (or in MVP’s case, hobble) off.
IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!
Monster’s Ball: Brutus Magnus & Bram vs Willow & Abyss
They brawl before the bell and Willow catches Magnus alone in the ring, hitting the double legdrop to the ding ding as Abyss sets up a barbed wire board on the floor. Bram gets tossed in the ring as Willow and Abyss bring a couple of trash cans and a bunch of weapons into the ring, but forgot to get in the ring first and Bram and Magnus get ahold of all that stuff and use it to smash the crap out of Abyss and Willow. Willow straight up SMASHES a trash can on Bram’s head, but Magnus avoids a Swanton, skee balls another trash can into Abyss on the floor, and we see Bram is busted open. Suddenly, Abyss goes under the ring and JANICE IS HERE! He goes after Bram with her, but Bram dodges and Abyss buries Janice in the top turnbuckle. Magnus and Bram double team Abyss on the floor and handcuff him to the barricade so they can double team Willow in the ring. They work him over for a couple of minutes before Abyss simply rips himself free of the barricade and rushes the ring. He goes down to the 2-on-1, but Willow gets a Singapore cane and nails Magnus with it, hits the Twist of Fate on Bram, then goes up for the Swanton. Magnus is up and throws a chair at Willow’s head, knocking him off the corner and through the barbed wire board at ringside. Abyss comes in with the bag full of tacks and empties it on the floor, but Magnus kickis him in the ding ding, then grabs Janice. He goes to swing it at Abyss, but Abyss blocks and chokeslams Magnus onto the tacks. That was a nasty spot, but Abyss doesn’t see Bram get ahold of Janice and wait on him to turn around. Abyss turns and Bram HITS ABYSS IN THE MONSTER’S BALLS WITH JANICE. DAMN!
Winners: Magnus & Bram
We don’t have time to dwell on the destruction of Abyss’ ding ding, because there are feet backstage, and they’re…WALKING! We’ll find out who the new Director of Wrestling Operations is after this commercial break!
Earl Dinglepants comes back out and introduces the new Director of Wrestling Operations: Kurt Angle! Yeah, because this worked out so well back in 2004. Angle admits that TNA has made a lot of mistakes in the past (there’s the understatement of the century), but Angle has accomplished everything he’s wanted to in this business, so all he can do now is give back to the locker room and the fans. And anyone back there who wants to try him, well, it’s about to become damn real. Bobby Lashley comes out with MVP and Kenny King, and MVP is in disbelief that Angle is his replacement. Angle says he’s also his boss, and MVP comes down to the ring to talk to Angle man to man. MVP thinks Angle went crying to the Board of Directors because they kicked him out last week, and asks if Angle has come to terms with all his personal demons, because he has three demons in front of him that are about to become the biggest problem in his career. MVP asks Angle if he thinks they can tell any of them what to do, because he may have the authority, but they have the power, and they think they’re going to use that power to end this right now. Angle says he’ll fire all three of them right now because he’s the boss. He tells Lashley that he’ll defend the title next week against the man he screwed out of the title, Eric Young. MVP has a problem with that, but Angle says he’s not done, because he also just reinstated…Bobby Roode! Team Canada comes out to the top of the ramp, and they rush the ring and go at it with MVP’s crew as we call it a week.
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