Home » Opinions » ToT [68] – 5/2 WWE Raw Running Diary: The Rock’s Birthday Celebration

ToT [68] – 5/2 WWE Raw Running Diary: The Rock’s Birthday Celebration

by Amish Patel - May 03, 2011

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Let’s jump right into the action, shall we folks? Less git ‘er dun!

8:05 – I’m getting to this week’s Tough Enough  a tad late, but oh well. I must say this, though, Jeremiah is a fucking beast. He has a very bright future ahead of himself in the WWE.

8:09 – Steve’s right, Martin really has stepped his game up recently. He could be a big name player one day. Doubt it, since this is Tough Enough, after all. But, hey, can’t a guy dream?

8:10 – Ouch! That was sick lookin’!

8:14 – For some odd reason, Ellesse (or however you spell her name) is becoming my favorite diva on this contest.

8:20 – You have got to be shittin’ me!

8:25 – Talk about getting your ass handed to you by some talent. Wow, would’ve never expected that final score in a million years. DAMN!

8:30 – Ryan is a dipshitted fuck. That is all.

8:32 – This could be an interesting sequence of events. Three’s a crowd, you say? Hmm.

8:33 – You can tell that these two girls got that previous meeting in the back of there mind. A.J. is getting a spot in the final, when he may not deserve it. We’ll see.

8:35 – Skid Marks may be proving himself to the trainers right now, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he’s shown signs that he will be a locker room hassle if he got to that point.

8:38 – Seems a bit early in the show to be getting to the dreaded three. Swerve?

8:40 – At this point, I’d say that it is probably Skid Marks final episode. I just don’t seem them giving him another shot. They could be putting the amount of energy they are with him into the rest of the cast. If not him, though, it’ll be one of the girls.

8:49 – Goodbye, Skid Marks!

8:53 – If they get rid of Luke, it’ll be a complete shithead decision. They’re getting rid of the good in-ring performers instead of getting rid of the guys that are shit. They’re doing this and justifying it by saying there characters, or the such haven’t progressed.

8:54 – They need to get rid of Skid Marks.

8:55 – Christina looks a hell of a lot like her sister Alicia Fox. Hotter, even.

8:57 – Finally!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU SKID MARKS!!!!!!!!!!

9:00 – This ought to be a nice video package to open Raw.

9:03 – It’s been almost 24 hours since it was announce that Osama bin Laden was killed, and yet I can’t find myself to actually care about it. People are celebrating like we just won the War on Terror, when in fact we probably just made it tougher to win. Sure we took out their leader, but it’s only going to piss them off, and add fuel to the fire. The next couple of months could be full disarray. I think I might move to Canada to get away from all the warfare! God Bless, America!

9:05 – The first of probably many USA chants.

9:07 – That opening line to Rocky’s entrance never fails to give goose bumps. I wish he would make a full-time return. I really do.

9:11 – Four minutes to get to the ring? Are you kidding me? Yeah, you’re right Rocky, Finally!!!

9:12 – He’s quite emotional tonight, aye?

9:14 – Fer rizzle? The pledge of allegiance? I haven’t heard that recited in quite some time.

9:17 –Rocky didn’t have shit to do with that National Championship. Warren Sapp did.

9:18 – I hope that Anonymous schedules a match for The Rock. That would be awesome. Fuckin’ awesome!

9:21 – Classic! I guess right there is the reason that the Cole-Lawler feud is still going on. Listen to that heat.

9:25 – You could see that coming from a mile away, but still enjoyable.

9:26 – What the fuck is this, and why the fuck is it on my television?

9:27 – The crowd kind of seems dead for this. Can you blame them, though? They paid for tickets to a wrestling show, not a damn concert.

9:29 – I can honestly say that I didn’t expect Wade and Lebron to appear and say Happy Birthday. Wow, that’s quite the little piece.

9:34 – This is getting intense. Very intense. R-Truth as potential to be one of the top heels in the game if he keeps this up.

9:36 – What a change that Truth has undergone. He was just five or so weeks ago, hardly ever featured on WWE TV. He was floundering around the lower card jobbing, mostly. Fast forward to know, and you could argue that he’s one of the Top 3 heels on Raw. That’s saying a lot when considering heels such as The Miz; CM Punk; Alberto del Rio; Dolph Ziggler; and Michael Cole are all on Raw. I would have said, had he not turned heel, that the artist formerly known as K-Kwik would have been cut by year’s end. That’s an amazing turn around.

9:41 – Uh, oh! Could Maryse be the next diva to be laid out by Kharma? I personally hope not, because I feel as if she could work well with Kharma.

9:42 – Yep, it’s going to happen. Probably both her and Kelly Kelly will feel the wrath of Kong. I can’t help but say that Maryse deserves so much better than this, though.

9:44 – Damn, she is a strong bitch. Kelly really is playing the dumb blonde bimbo part well, though. Guess Kharma’s going to be a face.

9:54 – DAMN!

9:55 – The fact that the WWE Championship re-match is taking place so early in the show signals that there is absolutely zero chance of Miz regaining his rightful title. I’ll guess and say that Alberto del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, and Rey Mysterio will interfere in this match. Why do I think that? Well, guess you’ll just have to subscribe to the debut issue of FightLife Magazine coming out in a little over 24 hours.


9:59 – I would just like to point out that we are at the half way point of tonight’s wrestling episode, and have witnessed a little under 15 seconds of wrestling. DAMN!

10:00 – I can sense a bitter Miz snapping and beating the ever-loving shit out of Riley, tonight. I dislike that idea, though, as I feel like in a year or so Alex Riley can be at Miz’s level, or probably better, and what a feud that could be. I mean, let’s face it, Riley is a better wrestler than The Miz. Riley is better on the mic than The Miz. Riley plays a better character than The Miz. He’s just flat out better. The only thing he’s not better than The Miz at is his personal drive. Miz wants this 10x’s more than Riley does. Facts show it, too. Riley did get a DUI last year. He wouldn’t have allowed that to happen if he wanted it. Sure, shit happens, but still you won’t put yourself in jeopardy of your job if you want it enough.

10:03 – Some nice fast paced action here, tonight.

10:06 – Damn those dueling chants. All they do is add fuel to a Cena heel turn. One that I don’t think will happen for awhile. How long? Well, go out and buy your own version of FightLife Magazine, coming out in less than 24 hours!


10:16 – That was a damn good 14 minute or so match. Very fast paced action. Sure, it was a cheap finish, but what did you honestly expect? It was a creative cheap finish, that’s for sure. And to top it all off, Cena continued to show a very intense side to his character. I’d give that match easily ****’s. I was convince for the short time that Miz would win it, good thing he didn’t, though. I hate quick title reigns.

10:28 – The next generation of the WWE looks bright. I really am falling in love with Alberto del Rio, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre. Not to mention the guys like Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, and the Nexus/Corre members that I already loved before.

10:31 – Anybody else sensing a Mysterio-del Rio feud coming, and possibly a McIntyre-Swagger-Kingston feud? This, for the most part, falls in line with what I predicted in my extensive look at the upcoming Over the Limit PPV that will be exclusive to the upcoming debut FightLife Magazine. Want to know how to subscribe and how you will have to pay? I’ll let you know at the end of this column!


10:38 – It baffles me that anybody in a match with Mysterio would honestly just site on the second rope like that. You’d think, given his reputation of his finishing move, that you would immediately get the hell away from that second rope.

10:40 – Sure enough, the seeds for a Mysterio-del Rio feud have just been planted. I wasn’t too sure what Alberto would do on Raw, or who he would mess with until his eventual feud with Cena. Then I remembered that Rey Rey is on Raw. Just makes perfect sense. Sure it’s a re-hased feud, but who out there thinks that their original feud was done to death? Honestly, tell who thinks that! I challenge you to!

10:46 – That is such a lovely picture seeing Christian with the World Heavyweight Championship. Excuse me while I…

10:47 – LOL! Nice!

10:50 – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The WWE Championship needs to be excluded from the Cena-Rocky match at WrestleMania 28. They don’t need that belt to sell the event. They only way I’d approve of it is if Rocky subsequently wins it and stays in the WWE. That’s the ONLY way I’d approve.

10:51 – Kane vs Mason Ryan is going to be the main event? Or…?

10:55 – I’d expect a fairly short match here.

10:56 – I don’t get why it’s Kane in this match, when his partner Big Show was the one that got drafted to Raw. Not a lot of sense making here.

10:58 – Did the Big Show just run all the way down to the ring? Nevertheless, they are allowing Mason Ryan to take the exact same formula that Ezekiel Jackson had with Big Show & Kane.

11:00 – How the hell is this episode going to end?

11:08 – Color me surprised…

11:09 – I can’t expect Vince to come out and not give an unexpected hell of an ending to this show. What is he going to do, though?…

11:17 – Not quite the surprise ending I expected. But nevertheless, what a wonderful way for Vince to pay back The Rock for returning and helping the industry along like he did. Good, good ending.

Not too good of an episode. The first hour was severely held back by The Rock, and the second hour was close to being held back. The saving grace for this episode would have to be the excellent match between Miz and Cena. They seemed fired up to be the shining piece of tonight’s episode. They don’t want to get outshined by him, so they’re doing something about it. That’s why there the top guys in the business today. It was an entertaining episode of Raw. To say the least I’m glad it’s over with so we can get back to some regularly scheduled ‘rasslin.

Line of the Night –“For my family, If ya smelllll what the Rock is cookin’!!”

Match of the Night – John Cena vs The Miz

Performer of the Night – The Rock

Grade – C+

Now onto the magazine. It’s going to go “live” at 12:01 A.M. EST time on May 4th. All you have to do is go to http://fightlifemag.presspublisher.us and subscribe to us via the button in the top right corner. You will then be asked for a name and e-mail, along with creating sign-in credentials. There will be options below that that will ask for address, and business name. That does not need to be filled out. After that you will be asked for the subscription you want to get. You can get a monthly subscription or a yearly subscription. All payments will be done through PayPal. After that you will gain access to the 35+ articles featured in the debut issue. Trust me they are must-see!

For a limited time only we are offering a year long subscription for the low price of $45. That will be over 22 issues for the price of $45. Act now, though, because the offer only stands for the next 24 hours!

FEEDBACK – [email protected]

Visit FightLife Magazine – http://fightlifemag.presspublisher.us

  • ICE

    the fact that you considered cena vs the miz a fast paced match is sad, it wasnt slow and the story told was ok but it wasn’t championship caliber for a wwe title match

  • Shay

    Uh… I got lost at about the second entry.

  • Buttercastle

    Unless we are watching along with you, reading this seems like you are just making small talk with yourself. At least include what just happened rather than the time it happened at because for most of these I’m sure a lot of people don’t even remember what went on.

    Also every other line about selling some magazine kinda got annoying.

  • http://youtube.com/howdaworldtwerks Twerks

    I’ve watched wrestling for over 15 years, and I can honestly say I think this is the worst Raw I’ve ever seen. I think it could possibly be worse than any Impact, WCW Thunder or Nitro ever produced. Can’t wait for Smackdown though…

  • jake

    yea if your gonna do more selling points than wwe i am just going to stop reading these

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