Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike) and F4Wonline.com
Brie discusses details on the phone, and in voice-over explains that she and Nikki are going to be on Psych on the USA Network. She has to give their body measurements and weights to the person on the other end, for costumes I presume, and shockingly these twins aren’t identical. Over in Tampa, at John Cena’s house, Nikki admires John’s fish. They apparently all have lewd names that get bleeped by E! Nikki discusses moving in with John and her boxes arrive. John is non-plussed that Nikki has six boxes of clothes, shoes and jewelry. “What, you want me to walk around here naked?” asks Nikki. “Yes,” replies Cena. John and Nikki examine her boxes and find, hilariously, a bunch of vibrators. She remarks that she used to live alone as John mentions that he’s “here for [her] now.” We head to Raw, as Mr. Belding makes an appearance backstage greeting the Divas. Nikki explains to Brie that John’s having surgery and will be out for six months. Nikki’s going with him for the surgery, so Brie is headed to Vancouver alone, but Nikki promises she’s going to be at the Psych shoot.
Ariane and Trinity have a match with AJ and Layla. We get clips and get shots of Eva Marie watching on a monitor. She greets the girls after the match. Mark from Talent Relations appears and greets the girls, asking if Eva Marie wants to do announcing during Raw next week. Natalya explains that Divas are often asked to do random things on the broadcasts, but notes that Eva hasn’t really proven herself yet. Mark asks Eva to introduce Nattie, right there on the spot, and she does an okay job, but Mark warns her to bring her A-game, as it’s live TV. Nattie warns her that she only has one chance to make an impression. Back in the ring, John Cena’s giant deformed elbow heads to the ring and gets written out of the show forever (for two months) before introducing Bryan Danielson. Brie’s really proud of Bryan and visits with him backstage. Mark from Talent Relations enters the room and notes that with John out, Bryan’s gonna be taking a lot of John’s media commitments and will be on the road a bit more. Brie seems surprisingly okay with this. After the show, Nikki and John get on a private jet and fly away so he can get his surgery. He admits that it’s just hitting him that he’ll be out for awhile. There’s some discussion of his swollen elbow resembling a scrotum, which transitions into footage of his surgery. Some blood squirts out of the elbow and the curtains are drawn on the surgery. Nikki wonders if something went wrong. John’s buddy Rob hangs out in the background of the shot but doesn’t really add anything of note. Turns out nothing went wrong and Dr. Andrews gives the viewers a double thumbs-up. Nikki visits with a doped-up John after surgery.
We head to Orlando, where Eva Marie visits Alicia Fox and discusses announcing on Raw. Alicia warns her about how tough ring announcing is and Eva recounts how much she bombed her Fandango audition earlier in the season (continuity!). Alicia wishes her luck and laughs at the prospect of Eva announcing. Over in Vancouver, Brie arrives at the Psych shoot and Nikki is there, apparently with no travel problems. They get their make-up done (Brie describing their roles as zombie vampires). Then it’s back to Tampa to sit in a car with Jon Uso, Ariane and Trinity. Jon farts in the car and the girls get mad at him. Then it’s back to Orlando, where Eva visits with Mark from Talent Relations and notes she doesn’t want to mess up. She admits she’s freaking out and gets three words into her introduction (“The following match…”) before Mark corrects her (“Contest.”). This bodes well. Then she gets Randy Orton’s hometown wrong and he tears a strip off of her. They’re painting her as perhaps the least qualified person to be employed by this company. After a break, it’s back to Tampa, with John picking Nikki up from the airport after the Psych shoot. They discuss how gross his elbow surgery was. John asks how Bryan’s doing, and this transitions into Brie perhaps just now realizing that Bryan’s gonna be pretty busy as one of the top guys. Nikki is cranky that, per Dr. Andrews’ orders, John can’t have sex with her for a few days.
Elsewhere, Jon and Trinity hang out. His toe-nail is gross and she tells him to get it checked out. He doesn’t want to see a doctor and she bugs him about it. Now we jump to Phoenix, where Brie and Bryan are hanging out. He goes over his schedule, and he’s on the road for the next 13 days and needs to pack. She says she’s “learning to deal with” their lack of shared days off. They goof around with their dog and grapple a bit. Coincidentally, Raw is in Phoenix that week and we get clips. Eva Marie is pacing around backstage and is freaking out. She doesn’t know where “Gorilla” position is. Justin Roberts wishes her luck. Nattie attempts to help her out by asking who she’s introducing, which leads to Eva screwing up Jinder Mahal’s name and Nattie being glad Stephanie wasn’t there (presumably to fire Eva). Eva says it’s a little confusing, and Nattie mentions it’s just remembering a few lines.
After the break, it’s time for the match Eva’s going to ring announce. The match is the Usos and Justin Gabriel against 3MB. Her announcement of the Usos and Gabriel is pretty shrill, but technically fine. She freezes up during the 3MB entrance, forgetting Jinder Mahal’s name. The seamstress confirms that she forgot Jinder’s name. Everyone watches the match, with Jon Uso landing weird on his foot and limping a little bit after the match. Backstage, Eva meets with Mark from Talent Relations, noting that Jinder’s pissed that his name wasn’t announced. Eva wishes she could catch a break. Trinity finds Jon backstage and again tells him to get his toe checked out. R-Truth makes an appearance checking out Jon’s gross toe. The mid-carders leave to get a trainer to check out his toe, which is all bloody and gross because he ignored it. Eva finds 3MB backstage to apologize for messing up. As she’s explaining herself, Jinder asks if she knows his name – “Ginger Mahal.” He responds as you’d expect him to, telling her to show respect to people who’ve been there longer than her and to know everybody’s name. Despite being awful at her attempt to contribute to WWE programming, Eva feels good about herself because she didn’t cheat (and read off of her phone or index cards). Sigh. Despite being angry with Eva, 3MB all seemed completely rational and level-headed having to deal with her unprofessional behavior.
Nikki is dressed in a nurse’s costume. She attempts to seduce John Cena. Good for her. Meanwhile, Jon gets his gross toe checked out by a medical doctor. It’s a fungus. The doctor cuts the toenail back. Trinity is happy he got his toenail checked out. The doctor checks out her toes, as the fungus is contagious, and she caught a bit from him. She’s not pleased. Elsewhere, Brie video-chats with Bryan. He’s running out of clean clothes, which is the price of being a top guy. Brie’s beginning to bemoan being away from Bryan so much, understanding why Nikki hates John’s (usual) schedule. Back at John Cena’s house, Nikki’s almost finished moving in. John awkwardly mentions that he wants her to sign a cohabitation agreement. Considering how much he probably lost in his divorce, it makes sense. Nikki’s a bit taken aback. Legally, he’ll be able to boot her out with 48 hours notice. He admits it slipped his mind, mentioning the legally-binding agreement she must sign prior to her moving across the country. She leaves the house to “go think.” To be continued!
The Verdict: Well, there’s a second straight week with very little JoJo, but everyone else had things to do and there was no major relationship drama, outside of John Cena’s legally-binding agreement. The show jumped around a lot from place-to-place and seemed a bit scattershot, but at least everything tied together at the end at Raw – Eva being terrible at her job, Jon Uso’s gross toe and even an appearance from the Bellas.
A perfectly acceptable edition of Total Divas.
