Bingo’s Breakdown: Royal Rumble Predictions

So Wrestlemania season is upon us and, as tradition dictates, that means the Royal Rumble PPV is here to cap off our January. What’s Royal about it? We’ve never really been told. But at least the Rumble aspect of it is pretty self-explanatory.



If you’d care to set your eyes to read-mode, my predictions follow….

Christian v Ezekiel Jackson

Ezekiel has yet to wrestle a singles match that has lasted more 5 or 6 minutes, so realistically he should not be considered anything near title material at this point in his career. But hey, this didn’t stop Sheamus from getting the strap, so who knows, right?

I believe Big Zeke may well pick up the win here, but via DQ or count-out I hasten to add, ensuring that the Ahmed Johnson clone gets the rub, yet Captain Charisma keeps ahold of the bling.

I expect Christian to keep the title until Wrestlemania where he’ll drop it to a younger guy (Zack Ryder perhaps) then be drafted away from his ECW Hell to mix it up with the bigger boys on RAW or Smackdown – where a chap of his talents naturally should be.

Pick: Ezekiel via DQ

The Undertaker v Rey Mysterio

Out of all the championship bouts on the card, I think this one is most likely to present us with a title change.

Nevertheless, the smart money will still be on Mr Taker to retain… And, being the smartly sprite that I am, that’s where my is. Think about it – if we assume that the Rumble match goes on last (which it should), the whole storyline they’ve been building of HBK wanting to win the Rumble to face Undertaker at ‘Mania will become totally redundant if Little Rey is champ.

But still, this should be an intriguing match with an intriguing clash of styles meeting under intriguing circumstances. In summary: Intriguing.

Pick: Undertaker

Sheamus v Randy Orton

With the tease of a Legacy split, one would expect Orton to be facing DiBiase at Wrestlemania. Or Rhodes. Or possibly both. Whatever scenario occurs though, it doesn’t need to built around the title, so I fully expect the ginger ninja to retain. Rhodes and DiBiase interference may well cost Orton to lose the match by DQ here, which will no doubt see him shake his fist in anger. Well, wouldn’t you? Those pesky kids.

Pick: Sheamus

Isn’t it funny how we all make our predictions based upon how we see storylines developing? When I was a kid I predicted the wiinners based solely on who I thought was the toughest guy going into the match. “Hulk Hogan won’t lose!” I would cry “He has the power of Hulkamania running thorough his veins dontcha know?!”…. Geez, I’d give anything to be able to enjoy wrestling on that level again.

Michelle McCool v Mickie James

I always watch RAW and Smackdown on my DVR and I must confess that I’ve fast-forwarded through every divas match in the last couple of years (with maybe the odd pause to ogle Kelly Kelly), and thus my knowledge pertaining to the division is almost non-existent.

Pick: Whoever is having sex with Undertaker at the moment.

The Royal Rumble

I hate to diss a PPV before it’s even happened, but I’m not feeling overly allured towards the actual Rumble this year, largely because of the way it has been promoted. In recent years, it’s been used as a stepping stone for upper-mid card talent to cement their place as a main-eventer, such as Batista, Mysterio, Lesnar, and ‘He who shall be not named’. (Okay, there’s been a couple of exceptions – namely Cena and Taker – but most folk would admit that even though they were already established stars, their wins weren’t predictable.)

This year, however, WWE seems to have promoted the match in a way that only 2 guys realistically stand a chance of winning – HHH or HBK. Does anyone really believe that the likes of Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, The Miz or John Morrison have any chance at all of winning? I don’t think so.

But hey, I sincerely hope I’m wrong. WWE has delivered some huge surprises in the past, and if they can throw us another curveball here, I’m all for it. As long as this doesn’t mean that Mark Henry wins.

Pick: HBK

And, just for a wee bit of fun, as there are only 28 confirmed entrants for the Rumble, my prediction for the 2 surprise participants are Edge (duh!) and Hornswoggle (sigh). Although, how cool would it be if Bret Hart made his way down the ramp? Hmmmm….

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