We open with a recap of last week when Matt Morgan had to defeat Ric Flair to earn the right to name the special referee for the match.
From there we go backstage where Eric Bischoff is settling down for Thanksgiving dinner with Immortal and Fortune, and Bischoff says he loves Thanksgiving and they have plenty to be thankful for, and he personally is thankful for being part of such a terrific group and raises a toast to the entire lot of them. Bischoff has one more thing: Bischoff regrets how a couple of things have happened over the year that he could have done differently, and one in particular is that he invited Dixie Carter to supper. The entire group is shocked at this, and Hogan in particular says that Bischoff needs to talk to the rest of the group before making a decision like this.
Cue the opening and we’re off to the Impact Zone for our opening promo, with this week’s lucky winner, Matt Morgan. He says that over the past two weeks he’s beaten Fortune to get his rematch with Jeff Hardy at Final Resolution, and then he beat Ric Flair to earn the right to name a special referee for the match. Morgan says that what happened at Turning Point won’t happen again because the only reason he still has the belt is because of a mistake by a nervous rookie referee. But here’s the thing: (stuff) happens, and he doesn’t blame the referee, he blames himself because he should have annihilated Hardy so bad that Hardy wouldn’t be able to move his shoulders for three days, let alone three seconds, so naming a special referee is beyond important at this point since it’s never going to be just the two of them, it’ll be Morgan vs Hardy and Immortal. So what Morgan needs is a man who will stand up and isn’t scared of being bullied and will kick ass and take names and do whatever he needs to keep the match done: a man kind of like Matt Morgan. He tells Jeff that there’s nothing he can do about it this time and there’ll be no excuses, it’s just the two of them and when this is over, he’ll prove to Hardy and the people that there’ll be a new TNA World Champion that they can be proud of. Douglas Williams’ music hits, and out he comes. Williams says that Morgan doesn’t need to look any further for a referee because he doesn’t know what his life has been like for months now looking after those tosses. He tells AJ Styles that he wants to be the next Ric Flair, but needs to lose his virginity first, Kazarian’s dream is to be America’s Next Top Model, and there’s Beer Money with James Storm, who is only happy when he blows a number on the breathalyzer that’s higher than his IQ, and Robert Roode who enjoys the finer things in life but is one of the tightest guys he knows and bought his suit at a garage sale. Then there’s Ric Flair, who is living for yesterday while Williams lives for now, and speaking of now, Williams was there for Morgan last week and Morgan can trust him to be there again. Morgan says Williams is right and Williams showed balls of steel last week and Morgan and the fans appreciate it, but Morgan’s going to be straight: Williams is in the running but there’s been a couple of other guys in the running and he promises that Williams will be the first person he tells. Williams seems to take that in stride, but now Fortune’s music hits and here they come. Flair tells Morgan and Williams that their problem is that they are on the outside looking in, and last week was not Flair’s finest night but all they’ve done is open his eyes to a man he’s going to take more seriously. Williams made a mistake when he walked the aisle against Fortune and he’s on the outside looking in, and that means he’s pissed Flair off and you don’t piss off the Nature Boy. Kazarian holds Flair back and says to relax, because when he was a kid, Thanksgiving meant there would be live pro wrestling, so he says that the Queen of England and the Greenprint should get a couple of partners so they can have a good, old fashioned eight man elimination match tonight. Morgan says he’s beaten them once, he’s happy to do it again tonight. Kazarian says that since he’s a gentleman, he’s going to tell them his battle plan up front: first, they’re going to get rid of the Limey, and then the two chodes they get to team with them, leaving Matty Matty Chicken Patty all by himself. (Kazarian’s words) So come Final Resolution, the DNA of TNA is going to be DOA for Jeff Hardy, then he tells Fortune that it’s time to head to the back for Thanksgiving dinner with Dixie Carter.
We look at a video package looking at the history of EV2.0 in TNA and Fortune gradually taking them all out, culminating in Rhino turning on them and joining up with Eric Bischoff. Speaking of EV2.0, Tommy Dreamer and Rhino are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!
We head backstage to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza where Flair is drilling into Fortune’s heads that they’re up against a couple of nobodies tonight while Bischoff is having a conversation on his cell phone. Fortune asks Flair to get some ice from the bucket and…yep, they iced him! Flair chugs the Smirnoff and struts out of the room. Bischoff gets everybody’s attention to inform them that it’s official, Dixie Carter has landed and is on her way to the Impact Zone. Hogan again says they need to talk about this. Well, what were they doing during that entire opening promo? They really don’t NEED to wait for the cameras before doing anything.
Back to the ring for our opening match…
Rhino vs Tommy Dreamer
Rhino jumps Tommy on his way into the ring and rams him into the corner, but Tommy fires back with a series of rights and sends Rhino to the floor, and Tommy catches him with a baseball slide and goes out after him, slamming Rhino’s arm across the guardrail to injure his wrist after Rhino went after Tommy’s wrist last week. Tommy pulled a table out from under the ring and slides it into the ring, but Rhino nails him and they brawl over to the entranceway where Rhino suplexes Tommy onto the ramp. Rhino grabs a bunch of plunder out of a trash can and tosses it in the ring, bashes Tommy with the trash can, then tosses it at the ring and flips off the crowd. Rhino rams Tommy into a roadblock that just happened to be there, then rolls him back into the ring where Rhino nails him with a Singapore cane. Rhino wedges the trash can in the corner and rams Tommy into it, but Tommy moves out of the way of a charge and Rhino crashes into the trash can and Tommy lays him out with a series of shots from a cookie sheet, then gets a cooke sheet legdrop. That was unique. Tommy goes for the DDT but Rhino backdrops him and sets up the table in the corner, and Tommy kicks Rhino low and goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Rhino escapes and hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino tries to gore Rhino through the table but Tommy nails him coming in with a cookie sheet and rolls Rhino up for the win.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Tommy grabs a mic and tells Rhino that this is what it’s all about: if EV2.0 is going down, he went down with a fight and he went down entertaining the people, and if EV2.0 is over, they’ve been friends for 14 years but they’re over as friends and this is done. He asks Rhino not to forget about their friendship and not to forget about the fans. Rhino pulls himself to his feet and extends his hand to Tommy and Tommy shakes. They hug and Rhino raises his hand, but then…get ready for this…Rhino nails him and rams him through the table. RVD’s music hits and out he comes with a chair and chases Rhino off. Van Dam tells Rhino that he may think he’s doing right by his family, but asks Rhino how his family’s going to feel when he busts him open at Final Resolution. Rhino tells Van Dam that he can’t make Rhino bleed, so Van Dam says that busting him up is what the match is all about for him, so he challenges Rhino to make it a First Blood Match. Rhino points at Van Dam and tells him he’s got it.
We head backstage to Matt Morgan and Douglas Williams backstage, and they approach Samoa Joe and tell him that they’ve got to take charge and they all need to be smart. Joe tells them to get one thing straight: there is no we because Joe is smart enough to mind his own business. Williams tells Morgan to forget it because Joe has a screw loose, and Joe tells him that he’s got a screw loose for speaking without being spoken to. He asks Williams if he thinks he’s a madman and Williams says yeah he does, but he’ll see them out in the ring tonight.
We head somewhere else backstage with Velvet Sky & Angelina Love, who are apparently disgusted with Thanksgiving turkey (I guess that Angelina doesn’t have the same attachment to Thanksgiving, being Canadian and all) and then Ric Flair struts over going Woo Woo Woo Woo. He says he promised the boys he’d bring back some candy and that’s them. Mickie James comes over and Flair smiles and tells her not to be smacking him around tonight, but she wants to talk to Angelina and thank her for wrestling her last week, but Velvet covers Angelina’s ears and goes “lalalalala”. Mickie asks if they’re really serious, but Madison Rayne and Tara come over and Mickie and Tara start brawling, so Angelina and Velvet beat up Madison. Angelina comes up behind Mickie, but Mickie didn’t know it was her so she elbows Angelina in the face before going back to beating up Tara. They brawl into the parking lot where they take turns slamming each other into a giant pickup truck and then head off where the camera can’t follow them. Velvet and Angelina continue beating up Madison, but Sarita comes out of nowhere and just flat out kicks the crap out of both of them. Now suddenly Winter comes out and drags Sarita off by the hair and tells her to leave Angelina alone because she’s with her now. Winter goes to check on Angelina and gives an uncomfortably close hug.
We head backstage to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza, and Bischoff asks for everyone’s attention to let them know that Thanksgiving is a time to learn and reflect, and they need to realize there’s one person to thank for all of them being here, and it’s time we give thanks to this person and welcome the guest of honor. He has Eric Young lower the lights, and in comes…Jeff Hardy, complete with purple smoke. Hardy says that everything he’s done, he has nobody to thank for it because it’s all due to his greatness. He is larger than life itself, he is the elements and Earth and all things to all people…but he will eat. Hardy settles down and starts digging in.
We go out to Mike Tenay and Taz and they take us back to last week when Generation Me fought the Motor City Machine Guns on Reaction. It was definitely unique to watch because it was portrayed as if they were doing this in the middle of the night with all the lights out and nobody in the building. The Guns put Jeremy Buck through a table and then tied Max’s hands behind his back, and Max asked them if that was all they had and spat at them, so the Guns responded by superkicking his head off. We then go out back to the Guns who are still all lit up about how intense the fight was and how good it felt to kick their teeth down their throats. But at Final Resolution it’s Full Metal Mayhem and they can do whatever they want. Suddenly, Madison Rayne storms up to them and asks where Sarita is, and says “You know, sombrero, maracas…?” Such an ethnically sensitive episode this week! They tell him they don’t know what to tell her, they haven’t seen her, and Madison goes stalking off. Sabin asks if he’d do her, and Shelley says no way.
We’re backstage again, and Matt Morgan and Douglas Williams are asking Pope to join up tonight. Pope seems taken aback that they asked Samoa Joe before him, and he doesn’t trust Joe as far as he can throw him. Furthermore, he was only fighting Morgan and Williams a month ago and he wishes them their best, but Pope’s out. Morgan says to hold on, and asks him what happens if and when he beats Abyss? Then he’s got Jarrett, then Fortune, then Jeff Hardy. Williams and Morgan both know the playbook and can tell Pope that he can’t get through them all by himself. Pope stops to consider and says that it’s going to be very interesting and he wants to see how it turns out, so he’ll see them out there. The team is complete!
Okay, we head back to the Imapct Zone as Madison Rayne is dragging Earl Hebner out to the ring and she wants to know know who Sarita thinks she is laying her hands on her like that, and she knows that Sarita’s been playing on the JV team on Xplosion, but Impact is her show. She’ll say it slow since she knows that Sarita only understands “El Spaniard” and tell Sarita to get her ass out here now. So yeah, Sarita may have spent a lot of time living and working in Mexico, but she’s actually Canadian. Just saying. Sarita comes out and rolls into the ring, and I guess we have a match!
TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne vs Sarita
This is the first time I think we’ve seen Madison wrestle on Impact in like two months. Also, Sarita is so far above Madison as a worker that it’s not even funny. Madison grabs her hair so Sarita goes after her and Hebner tries to get between them, so Madison takes a cheapshot, but Sarita gets a drop toehold and a rolling cradle for 2. Sarita with a spinning victory roll for 2 and then Madison keeps throwing punches that Sarita keeps ducking, and Sarita goes for a hiptoss but Madison flips through and lands on her feet and clotheslines Sarita, then chokes her on the ropes. Madison goes for a kneelift but Sarita dodges and gets a rollup for 2, but misses a charge in the corner and Madison sits her on the ropes and gets a neckbreaker for 2. Taz says he loves spending Thanksgiving watching two hot chicks pound each other, and I start considering the merits of that statement as Madison tries a victory roll, but Sarita counters to a rollup of her own for 2. Sarita gets a big swinging armdrag off the ropes that sends Madison into the corner and then catches her coming out with a version of the Angle Slam. Madison rolls to the outside and Sarita goes for a dive, but Madison moves and Sarita crashes to the mat, so Madison mocks her by doing Mexican dancing and rolls her back in. Madison continues mocking Sarita and dancing, but Sarita rolls her up and it looks like they may have blown the finish, but Sarita got 3 so there you go.
I can’t tell you how happy I am to see this, Sarita is probably the second best female worker in the company after Tara and I’ve been screaming for her to get a bigger push for months now, so it’s nice to see it finally happening because she’s awesome and she deserves it.
We go back to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza where Everybody’s enjoying themselves and Jeff Jarrett, who’s spent the whole night warming up in a jumpsuit, says he’s going to fight and is only drinking water because he needs to make weight. He wants to give something back to everybody here because without them, he doesn’t know where he’d be in his MMA career, and to reward them, he’s got a DVD to show them…right after the commercial break!
Okay, we’re back from commercial and Robert Roode (also a Canadian) says he’s thankful for beer, and James Storm stands up and says he’s thankful for Money, and the whole bunch of them do the Beer Money cheer. Kazarian is thankful for Fortune and his movie star good looks, that Dixie and Serge share one wardrobe, he’s beaten RVD and Mr Anderson and proven that he really is the Future, and AJ Styles says they’re all thankful for the Nature Boy, and Flair is thankful for this Fountain Of Youth. Abyss is thankful for his baby girl Janice (which he has at the dinner table) and also for caskets and coffins, because at Final Resolution, that’s where Pope is going to end up. The entire group awkwardly toast Abyss for that, and Jarrett thanks Bischoff for not inviting Samoa Joe because there wouldn’t be any food left.
And with that, it’s finally time for Jeff Jarrett’s DVD, on location at David Deaton’s Kickboxing School. Jarrett’s with a bunch of kids and he’s going to show them submissions today, something that Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle have spent years working on and Jarrett, quite frankly, mastered in weeks. He asks who knows a move and one kid says he knows the Ankle Lock, and Jarrett asks him if he knows who created the Ankle Lock and the kid says Kurt Angle, to whick Jarrett replies that no, Angle actually ripped it off from Ken Shamrock. He tells the kid to put the Ankle Lock on him so the kid applies, but Jarrett no-sells and tells the kid that he did a crappy job applying the move and to let him show the kid how to do it. So Jarrett gets up and put the Ankle Lock on the kid, who starts tapping out, and then we see a montage of shots of Jarrett putting various other submission holds on 8 year olds. Jarrett finishes up by wishing the kids a Happy Thanksgiving because they have a lot to learn, and the camera pans down to all the kids laid out in a pile, apparently unconscious. This was tremendous.
We go back to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza, where they’re all sharing a good laugh over the DVD, and Hogan stands up and says that on behalf of Flair and Bischoff, he can’t wait for Dixie Carter to show up because he’s thankful for her and can’t wait to tell her exactly what he feels when she walks in.
Jesse Neal is backstage and scoffing at the idea of Jeff Jarrett as an MMA expert, and tonight he’s going to find out what Jesse Neal is all about. And by the way, Jarrett has no idea what Neal’s seen in the navy and what he’s been through.
Back to the ring…
Submission Match: Jesse Neal vs Jeff Jarrett
Both guys are in MMA gear, and circle each other to start as crowd chants at Jarrett that he sold out. They tie up and Neal locks around the head and arm, but they go to the ropes and ref forces the break. Neal with a go behind into a waistlock, but Jarrett makes the ropes again for another break. Jarrett with a go behind and waistlock of his own, but Neal grabs the arm and hiptosses Jarrett over the top. Jarrett with another go behind and this time takes Neal down, fires punches into the back of his head, and gets a cross armbreaker, but Neal makes the ropes. They tie up again Greco Roman style and Jarrett fires in a couple of kneestrikes and Neal goes down, so Jarrett follows up with elbows to the head and hooks an Ankle Lock on Neal, but Neal makes the ropes. The referee pulls Jarrett off of Neal, but Jarrett goes right back after Neal and fires punches to the head until Neal runs to the ropes again for another break. Finally Neal starts firing back with forearms and charges Jarrett in the corner, but Jarrett pulls the referee in the way and Neal wipes out the ref. Jarrett goes under the ring and grabs the guitar (haven’t seen that in a while!) and busts it over Neal’s head, then tosses all the guitar shards out of the ring and traps Neal in the rear naked choke. The referee revives and sees that Neal is out and calls for the bell.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
Shannon Moore rushes the ring and chases Jarrett off, then goes to check on Neal as we see replays.
We take a look back to two weeks ago when Brother Ray turned on Brother Devon, and Brother Ray’s got a holiday treat for us…NEXT!
Okay, we’re back and Brother Ray is in the ring, and he says that over the past couple of weeks, he’s heard that some of the fans and wrestlers are pissed off that he kicked Devon in the back of the head, and he wants to know why they’re mad. Don’t they realize that he deserved it and had it coming to him? Don’t they realize that he’s the weak one? If it wasn’t for him, Brother Ray could have retired a World Tag Team Champion because he lost the match to the Motor City Machine Guns. Chris Sabin kicked out of 3D because Brother Devon is weak, and he understands that this is hard for the fans to swallow, and he knows they’re wrestling fans and aren’t that bright, but he put together a video package to show the people just how weak Devon really is and how Brother Ray has always been the leader of Team 3D. Right now we look at some of Brother Devon’s finest moments, and we see a montage of Devon getting beaten up by nearly everyone on the TNA roster as Brother Ray says that this is what he’s been dealing with for 15 years and says he’s embarrassed to even watch that. Crowd chants at Brother Ray that he sucks, but he says no, he’s going to prove to them how much he doesn’t suck when he shows them footage of the greatest tag team wrestler to ever live, Brother Ray. We then see a montage of Ray destroying people, and then the crowd chants that he still sucks. He tells them they don’t understand because we just saw with our own eyes that he is the guy responsible for bringing them the greatest tag team of all time, not Devon. The word on the street is that Devon would like to talk to him and he’s a little angry with him, so if he wants, he can come to the Impact Zone next week, and if he’s got the balls, come meet him face to face. But remember this: if it weren’t for Brother Ray, his 15 years of fame would have been nothing more than 15 minutes.
We go out to the parking lot where a limo has pulled in, and sure enough, Dixie Carter steps out and heads backstage.
We got to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza, and Bischoff says it’s official: Dixie is here and she’ll be with them momentarily. Bischoff tells them to hide the liquor because she apparently likes to drink, and Hogan says that the fun and games are over because Hogan’s not going to be responsible for what happens when she walks through the door.
It’s main event time!
Elimination Match: Matt Morgan, Douglas Williams, Samoa Joe & The Pope vs TV Champion AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian & Beer Money
AJ and Pope start the match and AJ charges, but runs right into an inverted atomic drop and then Pope just lays him out with some quick punches. AJ comes off the ropes and Pope gets a modified hiptoss for 2, but AJ recovers and rams Pope into the Fortune corner and tags in Storm, who hits a snapmare and running kneedrop and a legdrop for 1. Storm takes Pope to the corner and nails him with a stiff right, then goes and gets his cowboy hat, puts it on, and hits the Evan Bourne clothesline into the corner. Pope with a quick rollup out of nowhere though and pins storm.
James Storm is eliminated.
Robert Roode immediately runs in and attacks Pope as we go to commercial.
We’re back and Fortune is still working Pope over, with AJ picking Pope up in a side suplex so Kazarian can hit a slingshot legdrop over the ropes and AJ covers for 2. AJ goes for a leaping forearm in the corner but Pope dodges and tags Morgan in, so AJ casually walks over and tags Kazarian in. Kazarian points at Samoa Joe and says he wants him, so Morgan tags Joe in and Joe immediately knocks Kazarian on his butt with a right, and Kazarian goes for a springboard something off the ropes, but Joe casually walks out of the way and Kazarian hits hard. Joe goes and nails both AJ and Roode and then hits a running elbow on Kazarian in the corner, catches AJ coming in with the STJoe, and then a leaping enziguiri on Kazarian. Awesome. Joe tags in Williams, but Kazarian gets a floatover DDT for 2. Kazarian draws Morgan into the ring and then tosses Williams into his corner so his partners can beat him up, and then we see Pope and Joe arguing in the corner as Kazarian continues to beat up Williams. Kazarian goes for an electric chair, but Williams slips out and hits Chaos Theory and pins Kazarian.
Frankie Kazarian is eliminated.
And Fortune is down 3-2. AJ comes in and viciously goes after Williams and then tags in Roode, who continues working Williams over in the corner with chops and punches. Roode with a slam and then goes to the second rope and hits a kneedrop for 2 as Tenay says bombs away, a reference totally lost on 99% of the people watching. Williams finally is able to make the hot tag, but tags both Joe and Pope at the same time, and after arguing with each other over who got the tag, Joe attacks Pope and they brawl out of the ring and to the back. I’m not going to count them as eliminated until I hear it officially declared, but we go back to Roode and Williams in the ring as Williams goes for Chaos Theory again, but AJ holds onto Roode to keep him from taking the move and Roode nails Williams and hits a spinebuster for 3.
Douglas Williams is eliminated.
Okay, it’s officially 3-on-2, but Morgan’s realistically on his own, so he slowly steps into the ring and nails Roode, but AJ with a springboard forearm lays Morgan out. Roode puts the boots to him and tags in AJ who stomps a mudhole of his own in Morgan and drops an elbow…and we’re out of time!
Well, sort of. As usual, we’re into Reaction’s timeslot to finish this one. AJ hits a Pelle Kick to Morgan and then goes out to the apron for the springboard 450, but Morgan moves and AJ crashes and burns, but manages to tag in Roode. Roode doesn’t fare any better, taking a Stinger Splash and side suplex and goes for the cover, but AJ breaks up the fall and he and Roode double team Morgan. They whip him into the ropes but Morgan runs them both over with a double clothesline and then clotheslines AJ over the top to the floor. Morgan eats boot on a charge in the corner, but catches Roode coming off the ropes with a goozle, Roode fights free but Morgan with a discus clothesline lays him out. AJ comes off the top but Morgan catches him and hits a fallaway slam, and then measures Roode, but Jeff Hardy suddenly runs into the ring and lowblows Morgan. The referee tries to get him out of the ring and Hardy shoves him, and the referee gets in his face and tells him to get out of the ring, so Hardy kicks him in the gut and hits the Twist Of Hate. Hardy, AJ and Roode all put the boots to Morgan as Hardy’s music hits, so I’ll assume the match is over. Just for the sake of closure, let’s call this…
We head back to the Bischoff Thanksgiving Extravaganza as Bischoff tells everyone to be on their best behavior, and Dixie Carter walks in. Bischoff welcomes her and she graciously thanks them all for the invitation. Bischoff thanks her for the opportunity to control TNA and thinks it’s time to acknowledge the past. Hogan says it’s more than that, it’s to be thankful for the opportunity Dixie provided them, and then asks Dixie if she’s seen the numbers lately. She says she has, and Bischoff and Hogan think it’s time to let bygones be bygones. Bischoff says Dixie can go back to Nashville since the paper clips need to be stocked and she can Twitter, since he knows she loves to Twitter, and she can be fan friendly. Dixie says somebody’s got to be, but seriously now, she hands Bischoff a piece of paper and tells Hogan that he’s been a busy man lately signing talent contracts that he may not have been authorized to sign. Her attorneys agree with that, and they’ve also seen a judge who is good friends with her, and he’s slapping an injunction on them, and until this is resolved, Hogan’s duties are over. Hogan asks if she’s seen what he’s done with the company and how he’s raised the bar for her company, but she just thanks them and wishes them a Happy Thanksgiving and says she’ll see them in court, and leaves. Hogan and Bischoff are shocked that Dixie would buy off a judge, and agree that this means trouble.
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