TNA iMPACT Results – April 7th

We kick it off with a recap of last week’s cage match and subsequent return of Christopher Daniels.

 


 

To the Impact Zone we go, as Fortune and Daniels make their entrance, with Daniels getting a nice welcome back chant. He says he appreciates it, but he has to admit that his relationship with TNA has been rocky because he’s been in and out of favor so many times, but that’s okay because it’s the wrestling business. But there’s one thing more important to him than the business, and that’s the friendships he made. He calls AJ Styles a brother, and they’ve had their ups and downs but have always had each other’s backs no matter what. They’ve kept that promise for eight years, but three weeks ago he saw what Bully Ray did to his best friend and he realized that it was time for him to come back to TNA. He offers his loyalty to AJ to the rest of Fortune and begs them to let him be the fourth man in Lethal Lockdown.

Immortal’s music hits, and out comes Flair with Hardy, Abyss and Ray. Flair says this has gone on too long and they’re past the point of no return, but he doesn’t even know who Daniels is and hasn’t seen him coming and going anywhere. Flair points to Fortune and says they’re the champions and are the best there is, and that he hopes AJ is stuck sitting home for the rest of his life. Flair says Fortune made a mistake siding with AJ rather than himself, and now they’ve got this fly by night talking for them. Flair gives him the opportunity to walk out of TNA right now, because someone’s going to get hurt and it’s not Immortal. Daniels tells Flair that he appreciates Flair’s offer, but he can take his offer and stick it straight up his ass, and nobody wants to be in Lethal Lockdown more than him. Flair says he and Hogan have decided that he’s not under contract and has no business here and tells him to hit the bricks. Daniels says Flair obviously doesn’t want him here, but the Network want Daniels here and it seems like someone is one step ahead of all of them.

Hogan’s music hits, and he comes out with Bischoff in tow. Hogan says that he runs this place and he makes the rules, but they don’t have a problem with him being on TV and if the Network wants him, they’ll get him. If the Network wants him to have a contract, then Bischoff will give him one, and as far as Lockdown goes, Hogan would love to see him in the ring. But he’s still in charge, and he makes a Daniels vs Bully Ray match tonight. Ray tells Daniels if he had a brain, he would have taken Flair’s advice and hit the bricks, and he doesn’t want any part of Ray because he crippled his best friend, and if Daniels wants it, Ray will put him in a bed right next to his friend. Ray says he doesn’t know why Daniels would want to come back and fight him because he’s the baddest motherf’r on the block, and tells Daniels to go back to California and put some more mascara on, paint his fingernails, and maybe a little bit of lipstick, and go watch Oprah. Daniels says if he were Ray, he wouldn’t worry about his makeup, he should worry about the guy kicking his ass. Daniels goes after Ray, leading to a brawl breaking out between the two sides.

We go backstage where Ken Anderson gets unpacked and opens up his laptop, and finds an envelope from Sting with a letter inside telling him that last week was just the preview and tonight…it’s SHOWTIME! Anderson says he would have preferred flowers and then sings that it’s a beautiful day in the Impact Zone.

We go to Hogan and Bischoff’s office, and Hogan is really pissed off that the Network keeps screwing with him. They always seem to be a step ahead of them, and whoever is behind this thinks like a wrestler. They won the lawsuit, and something’s gotta be done. Hogan says something has to be done fast because HE’S TIRED OF THE DAMN NETWORK! Hogan slams the door, having finally noticed the guy standing there with a camera recording his conversation.

Time for our first match…

Hernandez & Anarchia vs Tommy Dreamer & Devon

He was announced as simply Devon, so I guess that’s what we’ll call him from here on out. Dreamer backdrops Hernandez to the floor as Devon lays Anarchia out and hits a running headbutt for 2. Devon with a drop toehold sets Anarchia up for a kneedrop from Dreamer for 2. Dreamer nails Hernandez outside the ring and sets Anarchia up for the Whazzup, Devon nails it, and then Hernandez comes in and goes at it with Devon. Dreamer dumps Anarchia and goes after him to the floor as Devon hits a Thesz Press. Anarchia rams Tommy into the ringpost as Devon sets up for the Deathdrop, but Rosita comes into the ring so Devon turns his attention to her and kisses her. Unfortunately, Anarchia nails Devon from the outside with a chair and Hernandez covers for the win.

Winners: Hernandez & Anarchia

Hernandez sends Sarita and Rosita outside to pull up the ringside mats as they put the boots to Tommy and Devon. Hernandez goes to give Dreamer the Border Toss onto the floor but Matt Morgan runs in and nails Anarchia, then goes face to face with Hernandez. Anarchia grabs Morgan from behind and gets chokeslammed, but Hernandez slides out to the floor and heads for the hills.

Still to come: Angelina Love & Velvet Sky challenge Sarita & Rosita for the Knockouts Tag Team Title, and Jeff Jarrett has a promise for Lockdown!

Backstage, Winter is freaking out on Angelina Love for agreeing to the match tonight because Velvet Sky doesn’t have her best interests at heart. Winter says she loves Angelina, then turns her around in the chair and helps her drink her water again. Oh, I get it, there’s something in there that makes Angelina just stare off into space and not talk. Hey, anything that keeps any of that crew off the stick is okay in my book!

Time for our next match…

Samoa Joe vs Murphy

The Pope’s music hits before the match and he comes out to the announce booth to join Mike Tenay and Taz. Murphy nails Joe from behind and beats him down, but he just manages to piss Joe off. Joe kills him with a hard clothesline, rams knees into Murphy’s head, and catches the choke sleeper for the tapout win.

Winner: Samoe Joe

Joe immediately leaves the ring and comes after Pope, who heads right for the back.

The Intrusive Cameraman is following Ken Anderson around as he finds another note at the coffee station. It says that tonight, they should finish what they started. Anderson turns around and yells at Sting to come out wherever he is because he doesn’t like love notes.

Time for what passes for a championship match!

Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Sarita & Rosita vs Angelina Love & Velvet Sky

Angelina is still comatose. Sarita nails Velvet from behind and goes for a springboard crossbody, but Velvet moves and hits a dropkick. Rosita tags in, so Velvet hits an inverted atomic drop and a running bulldog. Velvet with a pair of knee smashes and a running clothesline and then goes for the tag, but Angelina just stares off into space so Velvet lets Rosita go and tries to wake Angelina up. Winter comes out and yells to Angelina, then makes the “break in half” motion and Angelina snaps Velvet’s neck over the top ropes and pummels her in the ring. Winter motions for Angelina to come to her, which she does as Rosita covers Velvet for the win.

Winners: Sarita & Rosita

Velvet seems totally shocked at what just happened. I’m shocked this stupid angle made it to TV.

We go backstage again as Ken Anderson is still marauding around looking for Sting, and now has a pipe in hand. He finds Eric Young and Orlando Jordan backstage, and Jordan says he’d like to talk to Anderson about this whole asshole thin. Anderson no-sells it, mocks his own PPV poster, then walks off again.

After commercial, Anderson is STILL looking for Sting backstage. Hey, here’s a genius idea, you try looking in the rafters? Anderson can’t seem to find Sting anywhere but a black trenchcoat-clad form sneaks up behind him and beats him down. He tears the trenchcoat off and it’s Rob Van Dam, who says it’s 4/20 and time for Anderson to get smoked. RVD beats Anderson down, then picks him back up so he can beat him down again. RVD asks if it hurts, and says now he’s going to show him hurt, and he puts him in…a headscissors. Anderson is totally motionless, so RVD puts the boots to him some more, then takes Anderson’s pipe, wraps it around his throat, and drags him around the floor with it. RVD finally releases, says “see you later, asshole!” and walks off.

While Anderson’s recovering from getting his ass kicked, we go to a video package detailing the history between Ken Anderson, Rob Van Dam, and Sting, and then we take a look back at what we just saw with RVD beating up Ken Anderson.

Back out to the Impact Zone as TNA World Champion Sting makes his way out to the ring. Sting says he’s having a really good night, and asks Rob Van Dam to come join him out in the ring. RVD comes out to join him, and Sting says the reason he came back to TNA to stop Hogan and Bischoff, but he got distracted with RVD and Anderson, and says they’ve never gotten along. RVD says that’s because he debuted by beating Sting and then took about a thousand baseball bat shots. Sting says it was a mistake and he apologizes, then asks RVD to apologize for using him as a pawn in his game with Anderson. RVD says he respects Sting for being World Champion even though he never lost that title, and Sting probably doesn’t remember when he was working undercard matches while Sting was main eventing. He’s the Whole F’n Show, and come Lockdown, Sting’s going to find out what he’s dealing with.

Hogan’s music hits, and he comes back out with Bischoff and says he’s starting to dig RVD’s new attitude. It makes him want to do something crazy, so he decided why wait until Lockdown when he can set up RVD vs Sting tonight? The music plays, so I guess he’s done talking.

Madison Rayne and Tara are backstage arguing, and Madison tells Tara that she only has a job here because she got her in and asks if she wants to go back to scrubbing toilets. Tara says she’s not comfortable with this, and Madison tells her to get on the bike and go.

Anderson is back to walking around backstage and knocks a Sting poster off the wall with his pipe, then goes over to a Hulk Hogan poster and stares at it intently.

Back to the ring…

Robbie E & Generation Me vs Brian Kendrick, Chris Sabin & Suicide

Robbie and Sabin start off and do flippy stuff, Robbie takes Sabin down with a shoulderblock and Sabin comes back with armdrags and tags in Suicide. Sabin whips Robbie into a slam/elbowdrop combo for 2. Daniels with a running clothesline in the corner, but Max Buck grabs Suicide from the outside and Robbie slams him backward for 2. Max tags in and unloads with right hands and a standing dropkick, then orders Jeremy to go up top and hit a double axhandle. Max goes after Suicide but gets bulldogged into the second turnbuckle and Kendrick tags in and wipes everyone out with dropkicks. Max tries a rollup but Kendrick kicks out at 1 and hits a leaping enziguiri and dropkick for 2. Sabin and Suicide dive onto Jeremy and Robbie on the floor as Kendrick goes after Max but Jeremy comes in with a spinning enziguiri and then goes up top, but Max crotches him on the top rope and yells at him before hitting a top rope DDT on his own brother, then just stands there while Kendrick crawls over and pins Jeremy.

Winners: Brian Kendrick, Chris Sabin & Suicide

Max takes his Generation Me armband off and THROWS IT AT HIS BROTHER! Wow, that’s severe.

We go back to Hogan’s office as he’s chewing Rob Terry, Gunner & Murphy out. He tells Gunner to slap the other two and get them out of his office. They leave, and Anderson walks in, drops his pipe, and says he’s tired of getting beaten up every week. He wants a favor and begs Hogan to be the referee tonight between Sting and RVD. Hogan asks what he gets out of it, and Anderson says his undying support. Hogan shakes his hand and says he’s been waiting for this for a long time, and tells Anderson to take that pipe with him for the main event. Anderson leaves and Hogan smiles and does his evil cackle.

We go out to the parking lot and…wait, what’s this? Mickie James is laying on the ground and Tara and Madison are speeding away on the motorcycle! Then, HOLY CRAP! The cameraman drops his camera and tries to help Mickie! He DOES have a heart!

We go to commercial, and when we comes back the paramedics are attending to Mickie.

Well, not much to see there, so let’s go back to the ring…

Lumberjack Match: Bully Ray vs Christopher Daniels

The lumberjacks are basically the other members of both groups. Ray takes Daniels to the corner and beats him down, but Daniels comes out with armdrags and hits a running forearm to send Ray to the outside on the Immortal side. Ray goes back in where Daniels unloads on Ray but gets dumped to the floor, again on the Immortal side. Immortal beats him down until Fortune chases him off, and Daniels gets back in and Ray unloads on him with hard chops. Ray slaps him around and Daniels tries to fight back, but Ray runs him over with a clothesline then just stands over Daniels, drilling him with punches. Ray gets his chain but Daniels starts fighting back and hits a running forearm and a leaping enziguiri for 2. Daniels with a Frankensteiner and a running forearm in the corner but Ray wipes him out with another clothesline. Ray misses a splash and Daniels gets an STO and then hits the BME and goes for the cover, but Flair pulls Jackson James out to the floor before he can count 3. Ray goes to the floor as Immortal and Fortune fight it out and Daniels oges after him, but Hogan is out and punches Daniels in the head with the chain. Jackson James is back in and Ray covers Daniels for the win.

Winner: Bully Ray

We go to commercial, and then we come back to Jeff Jarrett in the cage talking about Angle violating the restraining order and getting hauled off in cuffs like a common street thug. He wonders if this is part of his master plan to not have to step into the cage at Lockdown and face Jarrett like a man. Jarrett’s been around the business for a long time and seen a lot of gutless acts, but this takes the cake. But this could be a huge blessing in disguise, because if this had happened 10 days ago and he had beaten Angle within an inch of his life again, the law would have come and arrested him, but now when Angle gets out of prison they can go forward like men. He and Karen have decided not to let the kids visit him in prison because they don’t want to expose him to that. Karen has some words and Jarrett says to introduce her, but Kurt’s music hits instead and Angle rappells down from the ceiling. Angle tears his shirt off and goes after Jarrett, but Jeff throws a cameraman in the way and climb out of the cage and runs to the back.

Sting and RVD are backstage, and they’re…WALKING! And Ken Anderson’s going to be their referee, next!

Also backstage now is Kurt Angle, who says that he’s been in touch with the Network, and they have added a special stipulation to their Lockdown match.

It’s main event time!

Rob Van Dam vs Sting, special referee Ken Anderson

They stall a bunch and then RVD catches Sting with a back elbow and springboard jumpkick, then top rope thrust kick and Rolling Thunder for 2. RVD goes after Sting in the corner, but missed the backflip shoulderblock and hit the post. Sting whips RVD to the corner and hits the Stinger Splash for 2. Sting hits a Scorpion Deathdrop, but Anderson suddenly hits the Mic Check on Sting. RVD comes to and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the win.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

RVD does his pointing thing at Anderson, then turns his back and Anderson grabs the title belt and knocks RVD out with it. He crouches over RVD and yells that it’s his title, and then Murphy and Rob Terry come out applauding and Anderson invites them into the ring. Terry and Murphy elevate Anderson on their shoulders and Hogan comes out to applaud the whole scene. They set Anderson down and he lays both of them out with the Mic Check and then mocks Hogan, who is seething at the top of the ramp. The last thing we see is Hogan turn around and repatedly call Anderson a son of a bitch on his way to the back.

Source: PWInsider.com

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