We kick the show off with a shot from earlier tonight when Eric Bischoff was arriving at the Impact Zone and got served with papers by the Network, though he mistakenly believed that the guy delivering the papers was looking for an autograph.
We then go backstage where ODB is beating up Velvet Sky and some photographer guy tried to break it up and ODB kicked his ass. Velvet popped up and drove ODB through a backstage set, but ODB quickly went back to kicking Velvet’s ass and dumping a bottle of water over her head while shouting all kinds of really dirty things at her. They fight out to the arena where ODB tackles Velvet onto a table, tells her she’s sorry about ruining her bikini shot, then ran her into a wall. Velvet ducked a punch and ODB hit the wal, then Velvet rammed ODB into the table and from wall to wall while calling her a whore. Velvet tries to fight back but ODB just casually picks her up and rams her into the wall again until security tried to break it up. ODB paused for a moment before kicking both of them low, but Velvet had enough time to get back to her feet and go after ODB again. ODB quickly rammed Velvet over the guardrail and continued brutally beating Velvet around ringside, then tears off her giant t-shirt to reveal a bikini underneath. They head into the ring and ODB chokes Velvet out with her shirt while punching her in the face. ODB is so badass. She waits until Velvet passes out and counts three for herself, then smacks her in the face and calls her a bitch. So badass. ODB finally walks off and Miss Tessmacher comes out to check on Velvet.
Speaking of Miss Tessmacher, she takes on Angelina Love tonight, and we’ll also see AJ Styles confront Bully Ray!
But first, IT’S PROMO TIME! Ken Anderson comes out dressed as old school Sting again and says that tonight, he’ll face one of Sting’s most famous competitors from the past. Who could it be? I’m betting on the fake Sting.
Eric Bischoff is backstage talking on the phone when Brian Kendrick came out calling Bischoff sir, thanking him for the opportunity last week, and asking for the honor to wrestle Abyss again tonight. Bischoff calls him dumb as a rock and asks why he’s such a glutton for punishment, but says that he can wrestle Frankie Kazarian tonight and the winner will get Abyss at Slammiversary. Kendrick, being completely out to lunch, gleefully thanks Bischoff.
During the break, Bischoff is on the phone complaining to Hogan about getting served with papers because he thought Hogan had everything in hand. He says they’re about to play his music so he has to go, and we cut to him in the ring with papers in hand. He says he apparently doesn’t have much time and tells Beer Money to get to the ring. Storm and Roode come out to join Bischoff, who says that they’re both running out of time because they have 30 days to defend the title but Roode hasn’t gotten clearance to defend against the British Invasion at Slammiversay, and asks them to hand the title over. Roode calls him a son of a bitch for sending Immortal out to attack him and injure his arm, and now he wants to take the title they worked so hard to get away from them. Roode says he’s not giving Bischoff the title, and Bischoff’s only going to get it over his dead body. Suddenly, Alex Shelley comes out by himself and takes the mic from an uneasy Robert Roode. Shelley says that Chris Sabin tore his ACL and MCL and will be out until the end of the year at the earliest, but he said that one of the things he was proudest of in his careers was the MCMG-Beer Money Best of Five series, and one of the things he learned from that series was respect, and he respects Beer Money just like the fans. Bischoff tells Shelley to say what he’s got to say, and Shelley offers to fill in for Roode and team with James Storm to defend the title. Bischoff asks Shelley who said he can do that, and Shelley says the Network, and now he wants to make Gun Money a reality. He chugs a beer and then shakes hands with Beer Money to seal the deal. Bischoff congratulates Shelley for his guts, but says he’s made his s*** list.
Time for our first match (at 9:30)…
Matt Hardy vs Crimson
Crimson rams Hardy to the corner right off the bell and Hardy fires back and tries a shoulderblock, but Crimson doesn’t budge and runs Hardy over with a clothesline. Hardy rolls out to the floor to collect himself, then comes back in and gets a go-behind, but Crimson elbows out and then whips Hardy to the ropes for a back elbow. Crimson with shoulderblocks to the ribs in the corner and then whips Hardy hard into the opposite corner and covers for 2. Crimson with a suplex and Hardy again rolls to the floor to take a breather. Crimson pulls him up to the apron but Hardy drops him across the top rope and hits a top rope clothesline for 2. Hardy with a series of elbows to the back of Crimson’s skull and then hits a legdrop for 2 and gets a three quarter nelson and turns it into a rolling neckbreaker. Hardy goes up top but Crimson nails him and goes for a top rope T-bone suplex, Hardy knocks him off and comes off the second rope with a legdrop for 2. Hardy goes back to the three quarter nelson but Crimson breaks free and hits several clotheslines and a double underhook DDT for a close 2. Crimson beats Hardy down in the corner and puts the boots to him, but Hardy goes to the eyes and gets the side neckbreaker for 2. Hardy sets up for the Twist of Hate but Crimson shoves him off and hits the Sky High for the win.
Winner: Crimson
Really solid match and Crimson’s strong push continues. Samoa Joe comes tearing out of the back but Crimson spears him as soon as he gets in the ring and Joe goes right back out to the floor. Joe yells that he will never be safe and looks angry as he backs up the ramp.
Ken Anderson is backstage and walks into Eric Young’s locker room. Young has both belts around his waist and Anderson says he’s sorry to bother him, but young says it’s okay because everyone wants to come to his seminars after his classic with Gunner last week. Anderson tells him to envision Sting vs Muta from Center Stage in 1989, and Young says that was awesome. Young asks him if he wants to take people back to the old days and help people remember the old days when wrestling mattered, and Anderson pinky swears on it.
Winter is backstage with Zombie Angelina, and Winter is irate over what Velvet Sky did to her last week and tells Angelina it’s up to her to defend her honor and destroy Tessmacher tonight. Angelina says they must become royalty again and go back to a time when nobody stood between them, and tonight, she does this in her honor.
Eric Bischoff is backstage again with Immortal and says that he never knew it was going to end like this, but it is what it is and he’s been down this road before, and the Network’s idea of what a wrestling product should be is different from his, but it is what it is. He says that he and Hogan will never forget what they did for them, but Jeff Jarrett says it’s not over. Bischoff walks out and the rest of the group is all like “What about us?”
Back to the ring for our next match…
Miss Tessmacher vs Angelina Love
Tessmacher gets a small package right off the bell for 2, then tries a shoulderblock but Angelina puts her down. Angelina no-sells a forearm shot and tosses her across the ring by the neck, then starts punching her in the face until the referee forcibly pulls her off. Tessmacher gets a crossbody out of nowhere for 2, but gets distracted by Winter and Angelina sends her to the floor and puts the boots to her. They head back in and Angelina gets a side backbreaker and then a side suplex, then repeatedly rams Tessmacher’s back into the corner. Tessmacher comes back with clotheslines and goes for a victory roll, but wastes too much time smiling at the fans and Angelina drops her back in an electric chair. Angelina picks her up and hits a Scorpion Deathdrop into her own knees and covers for the win.
Winner: Angelina Love
Angelina hooks Tessmacher into her choke sleeper after the match and won’t release her until Winter gets in the ring and expresses her approval.
Ken Anderson is backstage, and he’s…IMPERSONATING STING!
Okay, we now present a very special rematch that’s 22 years in the making!
Sting vs The Great Muta
Eric Young is hilarious as Muta, he looks like he’s wearing Dickies instead of martial arts pants. It quickly gets stupid as Anderson repeatedly Stinger Splashes the corner and does the Sting howl. Muta goes to leave but Sting pulls him back in. They argue and Sting slaps Muta in the face and fires off right hands and rams shoulderblocks into Muta’s ribs in the corner. Sting whips Muta to the corner and charges in with a clothesline, then clips his leg out from under him and howls. Sting with repeated elbowdrops and covers, but Muta is out at 2. Sting whips Muta to the corner, takes his time to pound his chest, and misses the Stinger Splash. Muta with a chop and a flying forearm for 2, then counters a Finlay Roll to a belly to belly suplex for 2, a crucifix for 2, then goes for a backdrop, but Sting reverses to a neckbreaker for 2. Muta gets a chinbreaker and a full bodyslam and then goes up for the moonsault and hits it, but Gunner runs out and distracts Muta before he can go for a cover. Sting nails Muta from behind and goes for the Deathdrop, but Muta shoves him off, spits the green mist in his face, and small packages him for the win!
Winner: The Great Muta
Very shocking upset, and Gunner is so upset about it that he gets into the ring and beats poor Muta senseless, then Sting comes over and they make it a 2-on-1 beatdown. What a way to treat a legend. Sting’s music hits and the real Sting comes out and runs them off.
Aaaaaaaaand it’s back to the ring…
#1 Contender Match: Brian Kendrick vs Frankie Kazarian
Winner gets a shot at the X Division Title. Respect shake to start and then they do a chain wrestling sequence with Kazarian coming out on top with a crossface headlock. Kendrick rolls out and ducks out to the apron to regroup. Kendrick comes in and gets a couple of armdrags and bars the arm, but Kazarian with a rolling cradle for 2, armdrags of his own, fireman’s carry takeover, and a leg lariat to finish the sequence. Kazarian with a side salto for 2, Kendrick maneuvered Kazarian to the floor and tried a dive, but Kazarian moved and Kendrick came down hard on his arm. Kazarian rolls him back in and covers for 2, then gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a vertical suplex for 2. Kazarian with a dropkick for 2 and then gets a straitjacket sleeper, but Kendrick rolls out of it and they go to a forearm exchange in the middle of the ring until Kendrick wipes Kazarian out with a Yakuza kick and then hits a second rope dropkick for 2. Kendrick misses a moonsault, but lands on his feet and gets an enziguiri for 2. Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread #2 but Kazarian blocks and turns it into a top rope neckbreaker for 2. Kazarian goes for Fade to Black but Kendrick holds the ropes and superkicks Kazarian, Kendrick goes for a frog splash but Kazarian moves and hits a Shining Wizard that sends Kendrick clear out to the floor. Kazarian goes after Kendrick and rolls him back in, and Kendrick gets a small package for 2, Kazarian gets a backslide for 2, Kendrick with a schoolboy rollup for 2, then they reverse one another with O’Connor rolls until Kendrick tumbles to the floor and suddenly the bell rings for the time limit.
Time Limit Draw
Kazarian is freaking out on the referee and Kendrick yells for five more minutes. Referee Earl Hebner puts on a headset to get instructions, then whispers something to Christy, who says that Eric Bischoff has granted this match another five minutes.
They exchange blows in the middle of the ring and knock each other out by going for simultaneous crossbody blocks and cracking heads. Abyss comes stalking out with the X Division Title belt, he goes to grab Kazarian but Kendrick jumps on his back. Abyss yanks him off and starts unloading on both guys, hitting Shock Treatment on Kendrick and then laying Kazarian out with a Black Hole Slam. Abyss grabs the title belt and tells us about some homespun wisdom about warfare from an ancient Chinese philosopher, and proclaims the X Division to be dead. Okay then, let’s call it…
No Contest
AJ Styles comes out to the ring and says he hears Bully Ray was going to call him out, but nobody calls him out in his house. Bully Ray’s music hits, and he comes down the ramp with a mic and asks AJ if he called this his house. Ray says a building full of inbred rednecks sure does sound like his house. He tells AJ to wipe the smug look off his face because he and his girlfriend Daniels beat him and Dreamer in a streetfight, but he never beat Ray in a streetfight or piledrove him on his head. He beat Dreamer, and called him a terrible tag partner and a weak link, though not as bad as Devon. He repeats that AJ represents everything he hates about the modern pro wrestler because he’d rather go home and get on his laptop than do what Ray does and go to the strip club for a lap dance. Ray sees fear in AJ’s eyes, and he knows because he puts the fear of God into everybody, and if God was a bully, it’d be him. AJ says big words for a guy who changed his name to Bully Ray because he’s insecure about his penis size. A bunch of hot girls at ringside laugh at Bully Ray, and AJ says that despite what Ray sees in front of him: the fame, glory, and the Fortune (hand signal), he’s still the crazy redneck who looks for the biggest guy in the fight and knocks his head off because a bully’s like a balloon: pop him one time and he goes away forever. AJ challenges Ray to a Last Man Standing Match at Slammiversary so it’ll be one of them up and one down. Ray asks if he’s out of his mind asking for that kind of a match against him, and asks if he knows what he’s getting into. AJ gets right in his face and asks Ray if he has any idea what he’s getting himself into.
It’s main event time!
Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner vs Kurt Angle & Matt Morgan
Jeff sits Karen at ringside, but a crew of referees eject her from ringside before the match starts. Bell rings and we start with Angle and Steiner, but Angle tags out to Morgan so Steiner tags Jarrett. Morgan responds by tagging Angle, so Jarrett tags out to Steiner and bails to the floor. Steiner flexes at Angle and then powers him to the corner, but Angle ducks a shot and unloads on him, then this an overhead belly to belly for 2. Steiner tags out to Jarrett, but Angle hiptosses him as soon as he gets in the ring and unloads with European uppercuts in the corner. Angle with a clothesline and goes for the anklelock, but Jarrett kicks Angle off and right into his own corner. Morgan tags in and neckslams Jarrett into the top turnbuckle. Jarrett goes for the tag but Stiner hops off the apron, so Morgan tags in Angle as we go to a split screen to see that Hulk Hogan arrives backstage and looks at paperwork with Bischoff. Meanwhile, we go back to the match where Steiner is working Angle over in the corner and hits a big belly to belly suplex for 2. Jarrett tags in and goes for the Stroke, Angle reverses to the anklelock, but Jarrett rolls through and they wipe each other out with a double clothesline. Angle makes the hot tag and Morgan comes in and wipes both Jarrett and Steiner out with clotheslines and then hits a Cyclone Slam. Steiner nails Morgan from behind but takes a running clothesline in the corner and a side suplex for 2. Steiner goes for the overhead release suplex but Morgan boxes the ears and hits the biggest Michinoku Driver in history for 2. Angle and Jarrett brawl up the ramp and Angle gets the anklelock in the designated “someone’s going to take a big fall” position when Karen runs out of the back and grabs Kurt, and he chases the Jarretts to the back. By the time the cameraman gets to the back, Karen is laying at the bottom of the steps with Jeff attending to her. Meanwhile back in the ring, Steiner lowblows Morgan and pins him.
Winners: Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner
We go to the back where Kurt is yelling at Jarrett about Karen never needing to be there and how this is his fault, and the blood’s on his hands. Jeff yells back at Kurt and tells security to get him out of there as we go to commercial.
We’re back and see footage of Karen Jarrett being loaded into an ambulance during the break. Mike and Taz discuss the seriousness of the situation, then Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come out to address the fans. Bischoff says if this is the last time they’re on national TV together, then he wants everyone to hear what he has to say. Bischoff has known Mick Foley for 19 years, and when he first met him in WCW when he was Cactus Jack and wasn’t good at much of anything other than cutting interviews, but in the ring he flat out sucked, and in fact built an entire career out of doing nothing but chasing people around with a sock on his hand, and how he was able to convince a Network that he has any kind of grasp of the wrestling business shows he’s good at nothing but talking. Eric Bischoff has achieved more in the worst week of his career than Foley will ever have in his. Now that he’s vented his spleen, he hands the papers to Hogan to make it official. Hogan asks Bischoff if he forgot who he is, because he’s Hogan’s partner and they’ve made history together. This piece of paper puts no feat in Hogan at all, and it’d judgment time. Hogan opens the letter, and the attorneys from Spike TV say that effective immediately upon receipt of the notification, they have exercised their option to terminate said position, but Hogan smiles and says that the position being terminated is Mick Foley’s. Bischoff gets a “Wait…REALLY???” look on his face and says this is the happiest day of his life and Hogan says “Mick Foley, you’re FIRED!” as we wrap up for the week.
Source: PWInsider.com
