We take a look back at James Storm discussing what it means to be the World Champion and Bobby Roode’s win over Samoa Joe last week to earn a title shot on tonight’s episode of Impact Wrestling, and then we’re off to Macon, Georgia for our opening promo with World Champion James Storm. He talks about how growing up in the South was good for learning stuff about being a man and treating everybody with respect no matter what walk of life they come from. In the SOUTH?!?! Anyway, he also learned how to open doors for ladies (which gets the crowd chanting USA), and last night he was sitting around getting liquored up thinking about what he wants on his tombstone, and now he can add World Champion to the other stuff he came up with. Anyway, all these life experiences brought him here to Macon and the one man who’s been by his side the whole time has been his tag partner Bobby Roode, who now joins Storm in the ring. Big chant for Roode, who gives Storm his “I’m going to turn heel on you tonight” smile, but an oblivious Storm says that Roode got screwed at Bound For Glory and promised him the first shot at the title, but also promised his little girl he’d bring the belt home so she could wear it at Chuck E. Cheese. Roode says he owes Storm for all the success he’s had because they were both struggling as singles wrestlers, but became an overnight success as a team and one of the greatest teams in the history of the business. Storm came up with the names, the merch ideas, and brought something out of Roode he couldn’t bring out on his own. Roode was the happiest man on the planet when Storm beat Kurt Angle, but he’s got another opportunity tonight and he’s damn sure going to bring it because he knows Storm will. Roode wants to do what they’ve been doing for four years, and that’s steal the show and blow the roof off this son of a bitch (I assume he means the arena), and whoever walks out with the title will be the better man.
Tonight, Jeff Jarrett & Bully Ray face Ken Anderson and Jeff Hardy (who gave Anderson a concussion and put him on the shelf for two months, but never mind that), and Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be here! Aren’t you just dying with excitement?
Let’s head to the ring for our opening match…
Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Tara & Brooke Tessmacher vs Madison Rayne & Gail Kim
Karen Jarrett is still, inexplicably, in charge of the Knockouts division even though Immortal no longer holds any power in the company. Tara and Brooke’s outfits really bring out the patriotic spirit in me, I must say. Madison and Tessmacher start us off, and Brooke and Tara tag in and out while cranking on Madison’s arm. They give Madison a double gourdbuster, but Madison goes and tags out to Gail, who destroyed Tara last week, but Tara gets some revenge by unloading on her with clotheslines and a BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP. Madison tags back in, but Brooke again dominates her with clotheslines, and Gail yanks her off by the hair before she can do the stinkface. Gail with a hanging neckbreaker and then goes to a Dragon sleeper, then just palmstrikes Brooke in the face. I love the sadism, but easy on the face there. Brooke gets away and makes the hot tag to Tara, and she makes the moron move of turning her back to Tara to do the ass shaking standing moonsault and Gail blindsides her, but Brooke spears Gail out to the floor. Tara hits the Widow’s Peak, but Karen Jarrett jumps up on the apron and distracts the referee while Gail Kim come in and hits Tara with Sole Food, allowing Madison to crawl over and pin Tara.
Winners and NEW Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne
Gail Kim is already a champion all of two weeks after returning to TV. Good for her!
Our newest main eventer, Garrett Bischoff, says that he knows his dad wants an apology, so he’s going to go out there and apologize to his dad tonight. YAY!
Garrett Bischoff comes out to agonize over the situation with his dad, and he wants his dad to come out so he can apologize face to face. Easy E comes out with his “I knew all those beatings as a kid would do him right” face on as we prepare to advance our top storyline. Garrett tells the old man he’s sorry he didn’t live up to his expectations and let him down at Bound For Glory, and he’s really, REALLY sorry he didn’t grow into the man he wanted him to be. (to which Eric replies “There’s always hope”) Garrett says the thing he’s really sorry about is that he didn’t do this years ago, and he suckerpunches his dad and drills him in the face until Ric Flair and Gunner come running out to make the save. Garrett looks really pleased with himself as hebacks up the ramp and his dad yells “HOW DARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?” I assume he’s not referring to himself.
Samoa Joe comes up to Sting backstage and asks if he needs help with anything, then says he wants to show his appreciation for the shot he got last week. Sting says he’s welcome, but Joe says if he doesn’t get the respect he deserves, people around here have a way of getting hurt, and asks if Sting understands him. Sting says he’s got it and Joe leaves, and then Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair come up to Sting and says they made sure to have ironclad contracts so Sting couldn’t fire them, so now they want Garrett in the ring for a match and says that he’ll give him the right to rewrite his contract if he does. Sting proves himself the best wrestling administrator ever when he says he’ll talk it over with Garrett before making a decision.
Christopher Daniels is walking around backstage raving about his wins over AJ Styles that never happened and reiterates the trickery AJ tried using, and says that he won because he walked out and AJ didn’t. He wants shots at the TV Title and World Title (yes, really), and says he even beat RVD last week. RVD walks up behind him looking really pissed off as Daniels denies needing a screwdriver to beat Bob Van Dam, and then Daniels turns around and Bob kicks his ass until Daniels turns tail and runs, and RVD says he’ll see him at Turning Point.
Time for our next match…
X Division Champion Austin Aries vs Jesse Sorensen
I don’t believe the title is on the line here. Sorensen gets a series of quick rollups for 2 counts early on as Kid Kash joins Mike Tenay and Taz on commentary, and he’s sick of that little punk Jesse Sorensen being in his dressing room and ring. Aries suckerpunches Sorensen and sends him to the ropes for a crushing back elbow and then comes off the ropes for a high impact leaping elbowdrop for 2. Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets backdropped to the floor, Sorensen goes for a slingshot dive to the floor, but Aries moves and Sorensen crashes hard, then Aries goes back into the ring and would have torn right through Sorensen with a high impact dive through the ropes if the guardrail didn’t stop them. They go back in and Aries takes Sorensen down with a uranage and the power drive elbow gets him 2. Sorensen comes back with a pair of high knees and a dropkick for 2, but misses a dive off the ropes. Aries hits the kick to the head and the IED in the corner, but foregoes a brainbuster to hit a second IED as Kash yells at Aries to kick his face in. Aries goes for the brainbuster, but Sorensen small packages Aries and gets 3.
Winner: Jesse Sorensen
Yeah, so I guess the title wasn’t on the line. Good match, and it actually told a good story where Sorensen kept making mistakes by trying to go for these big dives, but Aries got too cocky and Sorensen caught him. Aries meets Kash on his way to the back and they head off together to plan their revenge on Sorensen.
Robbie E and Rob Terry are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!
James Storm and Bobby Roode are backstage talking about how they hate to fight each other, but the World Title means that much to them, then we go out to the ring where Robbie E and Rob Terry come out and tell Ronnie to come out and face them, bro. Ronnie comes out with the TV Title around his waist and Eric Young, who has the Global Title on him (or the other way around, I don’t really care). Robbie doesn’t know why Ronnie is hanging out with Eric Young, but he’s waited a long time to come face to face with him. He wants to tell him his show sucks and (he hides behind Rob Terry for this one) that Ronnie sucks. He’s not afraid because he’s taken out bigger and badder guys than him, and he can kick his ass anytime he wants. Ronnie says how about right now, but Robbie says no deal and tells Ronnie to pack his bag and get out of here before he punches him out like the Situation did. Ronnie spears Robbie E, but Rob Terry nails him and then lays Young out. Terry holds Ronnie in a front facelock and Robbie pulls his shirt up so he can whip him with his belt. They clear out, and Eric Young says it’s weird and uncalled for that Robbie whipped Ronnie with his belt, but they’re big TV stars, so after he clears it with Sting, it’ll be Eric Young and Ronnie against Robbie E and Rob Terry next week. They really don’t want me to come back after tonight, do they? And before you try and sell me on Ronnie’s star power being a big deal for Impact, please email me if ANYBODY you know says “Hey, I gotta check out this Impact Wrestling show…they’re going to have Ronnie from Jersey Shore on!”
Time for some more WRESTLING!
Bully Ray & Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy & Ken Anderson
Okay, so Jeff Jarrett is apparently a member of Immortal this week. Hardy and Bubba start us off and Bubba immediately starts unloading with that hard hitting offense, but Hardy catches him with a fliying headscissors, the double legdrop to the cajones, and a diving dropkick to the face. Bubba just socks him and tags Jarrett in, and he starts unloading on Hardy with right hands. Hardy with a spinning back kick and a clothesline, but Karen trips Hardy from the outside and Jarrett puts the boots to him. Bubba yells “come on, you friggin’ drug addict!” at Hardy while putting the boots to him and then comes off the ropes with a splash for 2. Jarrett comes in for the Boss Man straddle on the second rope, but Hardy hits a back suplex and makes the hot tag. Anderson cleans house on Bubba and gets a rolling neckbreaker for 2, then Hardy springs off Anderson for Poetry In Motion on both opponents. Anderson and HArdy go up for dual Swantons, but Scott Steiner runs out and knocks Anderson off the ropes to cause a DQ.
Winners: Jeff Hardy & Ken Anderson by DQ
Steiner rams Hardy into the guardrail, then sends him into the ring where Bubba lays him out with his chain and then hits a Bubba Bomb on Anderson while Jarrett gives Hardy the Stroke.
Sting catches up with Garrett Bischoff backstage and presents Eric’s request that Garrett get into the ring and face an opponent of his choosing so that if Garrett wins, Sting gets to rewrite his contract. When you actually lay it out like that, it actually sounds like a really stupid deal since Garrett stands to gain NOTHING by doing this. But this is Impact Wrestling, and nobody’s allowed to have a brain here, so he says he’ll do it and then, when Sting says “No, this was a bad idea, forget I said anything,” Garrett begins actually begging Sting to let him fight an unnamed opponent for someone else’s gain, so Sting says “Okay, you got it!” Who looks at this crap and think it will make for good TV? No wonder the rest of the world thinks wrestling fans are idiots.
Matt Morgan comes to the ring and calls Crimson out, and Morgan says they stood together against Samoa Joe, but now he gets hundreds of messages on Twitter asking him if he can beat Crimson. He’s worked his ass off to become a main eventer in this company that he loves (until WWE comes along offering him a better contract), but he gets off on competition and wants to give the fans the dream match they’re looking for: Crimson, the irresistible force, taking on Matt Morgan, the immovable object. Crimson says this has been blowing up his Twitter too, and he says his winnig streak can’t be the real deal until he takes out everybody in his path, including Morgan. He’s going to see Morgan’s challenge and face him at Turning Point.
Another Storm-Roode video package, and then it’s main event time!
World Title Match: James Storm vs Bobby Roode
They do some basic chain wrestling to start, but Roode catches Storm with a back elbow and a snapmare, but misses a kneedrop, Storm repeats the snapmare/kneedrop combo with the same result, they trade legsweeps, and nothing for either man. They trade wristlocks and Roode scores with an armdrag as we go to commercial.
We’re back and Storm is ramming shoulders into Roode’s ribs in the corner. They start chopping the hell out of each other and Roode snapmares Storm, but Storm dodges the Perfect Necksnap and Storm covers for 2. Storm with the Neverending Story clotheslines in the corner, but Roode runs him over with a hard running clothesline. Roode goes to the top rope and Storm nails him, then hits a big superplex and both men are down in the middle of the ring as the referee starts his count. They make it to their knees and start exchanging right hands, but Storm gets the momentum and takes Roode out with a series of clotheslines and a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP. Roode boots Storm in the face and comes off the ropes with a Blockbuster for 2, he backdrops Storm to the apron but Storm hits an enziguiri and comes off the top rope with a flying bodypress, Roode rolls through but only gets 2. Storm counters the Perfectplex to a lungblower for 2. Storm goes for Eye Of The Storm, but Roode escapes and hits a spinebuster for 2. Storm clotheslines Roode and they both tumble over the top rope to the floor, but beat the count back in. Roode gets the Crippler Crossface out of nowhere and Storm almost taps out, but reaches for the ropes so Roode catches the other arm and gets the Rings of Saturn instead. Storm gets his foot over the bottom rope anyway to force the break, but Roode puts him on top for a superplex of his own. Storm blocks and gives Roode a top rope gourdbuster and then gets a flying elbow off the top for 2. Storm sets up for the superkick, but Roode blocks and goes for the Perfectplex, Storm blocks and the referee gets bumped to the floor. Storm hits an inverted lungblower to send Roode out to the floor as well where we see the referee clutching his knee in pain. Roode looks over at the stairs and sees Storm’s beer bottle, probably thinking as I am that he could use a drink or two after tonight’s episode of Impact. Instead, Storm comes over to grab Roode and Roode breaks the bottle over his head to knock him out and make the cover. The referee rolls back into the ring and somehow doesn’t notice the shards of glass all over the mat and counts three, carefully avoiding slapping his hand on the broken glass he doesn’t see.
Winner and NEW World Champion: Bobby Roode
Source: PWInsider.com
