Greetings jabronis,
Wow. What a week in wrestling this has been. Watching RAW live this week genuinely made me giddy with excitement, and I sat with an impossibly huge grin on my face – one that I normally reserve for when I’ve unwittingly stumbled upon wildlife having sex – as I watched The Rock make his triumphant return to RAW.
Many folk, myself included, were genuinely concerned as to how Vince was gonna sell Wrestlemania this year, with no real “must see” bouts rumoured and a lack of pulling power in the main event pool. But in a single swoop they’ve done it. The Rock will save Wrestlemania and the world is truly a rosier place for fans of the grapple game.
But before Wrestlemania is upon us, we have the penultimate PPV of the “WWE year” in the Elimination Chamber, and it seems we should still expect to see one or two more surprises to come on the night.
A wee warning to all you roody-poos, this column contains Smackdown spoilers, so avert your gaze should you wish to know not what the B-show has in-store this week, and go and learn to play the banjo or something instead.
As is the norm, joining me with his insights on this occasion is fellow Wrestling-Edge columnist Bad News Browne.
BNB: I am here. He speaks the truth.
Nik: Excellent. Righto, there’s only 4 matches on the card so far. If WWE should happen to confirm any other bouts in the meantime, we shall do our utmost to return and update this scribe, because that’s just the kind of upstanding citizens that we are.
Alberto Del Rio v Kofi Kingston
Nik: This is just filler, not that I have any problem whatsoever with either of them being on the PPV. Both are worthy performers in my judgemental eyes and this will undoubtedly be a lively spectacle. Del Rio needs the momentum going into Wrestlemania, so he’s gonna get the win here. But you already knew that.
BNB: This being a non-title affair gives the ending away somewhat – and as you say, Alberto has to go over clean on his way to headlining Wrestlemania. Should be a good bout, although I wish Kofi would stop using that move when he runs into the corner and jumps up to punch his opponent. It looks dreadful.
Picks:
Nik: Alberto Del Rio
BNB: Alberto Del Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiio
John Morrison v R-Truth v Sheamus v John Cena v Randy Orton v CM Punk
Nik: Is there really any point in R-Truth being in this match?! I’ve nothing against the chap, but I don’t think a single wrestling fan the world over believes for one second that he is capable of winning this thing. I’d have much preferred to see Daniel Bryan get an outing here. Sure, he wouldn’t win either, but here’s a guy who made The Miz tap out on consecutive PPVs just a few weeks ago – and now he’s feuding with The Bellas! What a shocking waste of talent.
BNB: Can there really be any other winner in this apart from John Cena? I mean, really? The build to this hasn’t been great, and R-Truth is indeed in the midst of the worst push of his career going in (losing to Mason Ryan and Brodus Clay from NXT?!) meaning that even WWE aren’t that bothered about this.
There always seems to be a twist in the Elimination Chamber PPV, but I doubt it will happen here. The only other person who has even 1% chance of winning is CM Punk, and I just can’t see that with the way Cena vs The Miz (with The Rock as guest referee?) is prepped heading into Wrestlemania.
Nik: You and I are in total agreement, Mr Browne. There’s only one man who can win the RAW elimination chamber this year. It’s simply inconceivable that WWE would consider not having its poster boy featured in the Wrestlemania title match. This will be the 7th consecutive year by the way. How depressing.
Cena will win. It’s a dead cert. You may as well consider this a spoiler. Bet everything you own on it.
Picks:
Nik: John Cena
BNB: John Cena
Edge v Kane v Wade Barrett v Rey Mysterio v Drew McIntyre v ?????
BNB: Now this is quite a tough one to call, particularly with Ziggler being ‘fired’ by Teddy Long and losing his spot. So who will replace him? I can’t see it being Big Show as I think he will face BIG ZEKE in another match on the night, so maybe there’s a surprise on the cards? Undertaker is too early (he’s back the next night), HHH would return on RAW. Hmmmmmmmm. Diesel?! Maybe.
Nik: Yeah, I was thinking that Diesel would be a funsome addition, the pop he received at the Royal Rumble was insane! The guy is so knackered that WWE wouldn’t want to give him too much in-ring exposure, but inside a cage with five other guys his shortcomings would be well hidden, and the company can then capitalise on the aforementioned pop. I guess Christian is another possibility. It would be ace to have Captain Charisma back in-time for Wrestlemania.
But whoever the final entrant might be, I don’t think they’re gonna win. WWE seems to have already commenced a “full steam ahead” approach to an Edge vs Del Rio feud, so I’m expecting Edge to retain here so that feud can culminate on April 3rd.
BNB: As it stands, I have a suspicion they might do a rehash of last year’s, with Edge winning only for Ziggler to come out afterwards and be given a shot, and win the belt. I don’t know what this will lead to in the future, so please don’t ask.
I don’t really expect this to be that great a match, although it could do wonders for Drew McIntyre’s faltering career if booked right. We shall see.
Picks:
Nik: Edge
BNB: Ziggler (somehow)
The Miz v Jerry Lawler
BNB: Obviously, our condolences go out to The King who lost his mother over the weekend. Nonetheless, he’s informed WWE himself that this match will still go ahead.
Nik: I have very mixed feelings about this feud. At face value, you’ve got WWE attempting to establish a new champion by having him battle a 61 year old commentator. That’s just not cricket.
But, on the other hand, Jerry is a genuine legend in the wrestling business and has been a loyal servant to the WWE for the best part of two decades, so surely he’s deserving of his time in the spotlight, right? (Loyal, that is, apart from those few months when he quit because WWE sacked his then-wife… Damn, she was hot… Let’s have an ogle at her for no particular reason other than the fact that she’s hot)…
Yummy. So anyway… I think it’s a nice storyline seeing Jerry get a shot at the big time… but I don’t it’s wise to do it so close to Wrestlemania. If The Miz struggles to overcome a retired, overweight opponent, what chance does he have against Super Cena? It’s certainly not favourable booking. No sirree.
BNB: I must say I have loved this feud. And yes, although it hasn’t protected The Miz at all (though he did pick up a much-needed clean win over Daniel Bryan this week in a great match), this story of the old timer getting one last shot at the big one has been done perfectly.
Now, I’m thinking maybe… just maybe… Jerry Lawler will sneak a win here, only for The Miz to win it back the next night on RAW – leading to some form of Lawler vs Riley match at Wrestlemania, with the stipulation that if Lawler wins he gets 5 minutes to beat on Michael Cole.
Nik: Brave shout! I too foresee Lawler having some sort of match-up against Alex Riley and Cole at Wrestlemania to fulfil his wish of performing on the grandaddy PPV…
But I don’t see any logic in putting the title on him, even if it is just for 24 hours. Riley and/or Cole will assist The Miz on the night, and he’ll be leaving with the strap around his waist.
Picks
Nik: The Miz
BNB: Jerry Lawler
That’s it from us, boys and girls (mostly boys I’m betting). As ever, please add your own predictions below – we love it when you do – and please speculate on who might fill the gap left by Ziggler. We do enjoy a bit of speculation. Who doesn’t?
Over and out.
