The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal for 12/26/11
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter at @johnreport
Live from Chicago, Illinois this is the Raw Deal…
I was excited for this one. Chicago is one of WWE’s best crowds. I figured they would start with the hometown hero CM Punk. They did…sort of. It was CM Punk’s music except instead of the Punk man himself it was interim Raw GM John Laurinaitis wearing Punk’s shirt over his suit. He even did Punk’s routine at the time. “It’s Dynamic Dude time!” I’m making that part up. He said he was there to honor CM Punk in his hometown.
That led us to the real CM Punk to a huge ovation from the live crowd, similar to the best PPV of the year that was held in Chicago: Money in the Bank. There were a lot of Punk signs in the crowd. A friend on Twitter told me that WWE took his signs for Colt Cabana and Cliff Compton (formerly Domino in WWE), who are both Chicago area residents. Punk wondered if he was paying tribute or trying to instigate something and wondered why shouldn’t he just kick JL in the head? JL told him he could fire him. He should have said “future endeavors” there. JL joked that Punk was going to have the night off, the fans booed and he said he was joking. Oh the comedy. He said Punk would have a gauntlet match later against three guys. If any of the three can beat him then they get a title shot at Punk next week. Punk wondered what he gets if he wins, then suggested that if he beats all three then he gets Laurinaitis in a match after the first three matches. Laurinaitis: “You don’t want any of this.” I laughed hard at that one. The crowd chanted “you can’t wrestle” and then Punk laughed saying he guessed that they saw his All Japan matches too. True, but JL can suck up. It’s how he got his job. Punk asked the crowd if they wanted it, they popped big and JL said they had a deal.
I’ve had people ask me if Punk/JL is the new Austin/McMahon. They can certainly TRY to do some of the things that worked in that feud, but it’s not like they are drawing money or ratings that are even close to what Austin/McMahon were doing it. It’s early in the feud although I don’t see it ever reaching those heights. I’m sure WWE wishes it would do that well. I do as well. I just don’t think, realistically, that it will reach that level of greatness. To his credit, though, Laurinaitis has improved on the microphone. That happens for most people…except Mike Adamle. Jeff Harvey!
After the opening angle came to an end, they aired another “It Begins” video saying that the mystery person returns to Raw next week. They did it in a way where it cut into the screen so the announcers never acknowledged it. It said that “The End Begins” and then “Next Monday.” I still believe it’s Chris Jericho despite his claims that he wants nothing to do with WWE. He’s a heel being a heel on Twitter apparently. If they wanted us to know it was him then where’s the mystery? It was a mystery in 1999 and 2007 too. It’s how he rolls. I liked the end of the video where they said: “Do you understand?” One of Jericho’s famous lines is: “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth right now?” The clock is another clue. It’s interesting to note that the clock on the video went from 11:01 to 11:04. That’s usually the time of the Raw main event. Another clue was that they kept showing a globe, which represents the world and another Jerichoism is to say that he is “the best in the world at what I do.” Punk’s been using that line, so he is returning to claim what is his – that moniker. My theory is that Punk beats Ziggler, then the clock goes up on the screen at 11:01 (that’s Eastern time even though the show will be in Memphis – central time) and there’s Jericho to confront Punk. I don’t know it as fact. It’s just a theory. The other option is likely Undertaker, which would be okay, but nothing that would excite me the way that Jericho would.
What do you think? Vote in the poll below!
Who is the mystery January 2 video about?
When the video ended, Booker T and Cody Rhodes were shown on the split screen walking to the ring.
Booker T d. Cody Rhodes (**)
You know how I usually like a longer match? In this case I wish it was shorter than the 12 minutes they were given here. It was a really slow match although the finishing sequence was done well. I assumed that Cody was going to win because he’s 20 years younger than Booker and the full timer, but I guess they had to give Booker a win at some point. He looked rusty, which is understandable. He’s still in great shape and there’s no denying that, but you could tell he has lost a lot of the quickness he once had. Cody went for the Cross Rhodes, Booker countered with a back kick and then the axe kick for the win. You could really tell he was tired by that point. Post match, he did a Spinaroonie too. I think Cody will ultimately win the feud now that they each have a win although if this was the end of it then that’s okay too. I like Booker at the announce desk only. OH MY GOODNESS!
Backstage, Zack Ryder thanked somebody for all they did for him. It was John Cena. Cena put over Ryder, saying he earned it and deserved it. Ryder asked him about Kane. Cena said he would call him out later while Ryder wished him good luck. This didn’t seem like a natural conversation between friends. It felt like two guys talking after they memorized their lines. If they pull the trigger on the Cena heel turn (which I doubt) they are doing a great job of setting these two up as allies right now so if Cena needs somebody to turn on they have a strong candidate in Zack Ryder.
At ringside, Jerry Lawler announced the three CM Punk opponents as Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Mark Henry. I thought one of them would be Miz. He had other business, as we would find out. I would have done it as mystery opponents. It adds more intrigue to the match.
Backstage, bad acting by Kelly Kelly involved her plugging her website to Big Show because again that’s such a natural conversation for these wrestling folks. Show was told by ref Scott Armstrong that he needed to see interim Raw GM John Laurinaitis. Off he went. I wonder if he would get there by the time the commercials ended. Oh the intrigue!
Plug time: I wrote a NBA Column at thenolookpass.com, so give that a look if you’re a fellow hoop head. I’ll be writing there two times per month. I might venture into more sports writing in 2012. We’ll see. Also make sure that With Leather is a daily stop for an always fantastic weekly “Best and Worst of Raw” column as well as some witty commentary about the world of sports on a daily basis.
Back from break, Laurinaitis was on the phone with Brodus Clay saying that next week he’d be on Raw. I’d assume that’s legit unless they change their mind again. Big Show walked in. JL showed a clip of Smackdown when Show KO’d Otunga. That was an impressive punch; as good as any I can remember him doing. Otunga wanted to sue. Show said he could beat Otunga with an arm tied behind his back. Laurinaitis made the match. Big Show delivered a great line: “A giant with one arm is still better than a smug lawyer with no testicles.” Clever. I liked that.
More backstage with Swagger & Ziggler this time. They were arguing, mocking eachother. Ziggler mocked him by saying that Swagger hasn’t been relevant since 2009 while Swagger mocked Ziggler for being too small. I think this dialogue was written by a 12 year old, or Vince McMahon. Take your pick. They have the same mind. Vickie calmed them down as Mark Henry bumped into Ziggler, said “which one of you douchebags drank all the Kool-Aid?” and left. Actually he said “excuse me” but I liked my line better.
The team of Eve & Zack Ryder came out for a mixed tag match after the break.
Eve & Zack Ryder d. Natalya & Tyson Kidd (*)
I marked out at the sight of my favorites Natalya & Tyson Kidd reunited on camera again. The announcers didn’t put it over much, but I hope it leads to something more permanent down the road. In this instance they were there to put the faces. Tyson bumped very well for Ryder, making him look great and Eve took care of Natalya by kicking her out of the ring. Ryder pinned Kidd in three minutes after the Rough Ryder in the middle of the ring. Post match, Ryder tried flirting with Eve while she didn’t really flirt back. He’s an awkward nerd, I guess. There was nothing wrong with the match. It was there to put Ryder over. I’d imagine that Beth Phoenix is still banged up after Alicia Fox’s bad legdrop last week that caused bruising to Beth’s face.
At the top of hour two, John Cena came out. He wasn’t selling the attack by Kane last week. That’s vintage Cena. The crowd was booing him for the most part as he did another one of his speeches relating to the response to the crowd. It’s the same thing every week except they hated him more than most crowds. He mentioned that Chicago has hosted three WrestleManias (including my favorite match ever at WM13 – Hart vs. Austin) and that it is where Eddie Guerrero was inducted in the Hall of Fame as well. That’s a good way to get crowd support. Eventually he got to the point and he called out Kane. Instead, The Miz walked out. He did his usual spiel about beating Cena at Mania this year and he didn’t care how he did it. Do I have to remember that match? It wasn’t very good. And the “I Quit” match they had a couple of PPVs later was even worse. Anyway, Miz was so frustrated about being overlooked (I think that was the point of this) that he wanted a match with Cena so that the lasting image of 2011 would be him standing over Cena.
John Cena d. The Miz via countout (DUD)
They wrestled for about a minute, the crowd had the mixed chants for Cena, then Miz walked out and said he didn’t need to win this match because he already beat Cena at WrestleMania. So why book this match in the first place?
The music of R-Truth started up. He’s back after his 30 day suspension. That’s why they booked this match in the first place. The Miz wasting our time with the same promo he does every week was to bring back R-Truth in this spot. He went after Miz and beat him up around the ringside area. The fans weren’t really cheering. He got on the microphone to say that he could finish Miz now, but that wouldn’t be fun to do it so soon. He was talking to himself a lot, so the crazy gimmick has made its way to his babyface act. He spouted out a Little Jimmy to a small reaction. I think they were hoping for more of a pop in this spot, but it didn’t really happen. It was a decent segment, but not great. I like Truth more as a heel although I can see him being useful in a comedic babyface type of role too.
After a break, they recapped Truth’s return and announced that Kane would be on the show later. He’s the kind of monster that likes to only appear in main event segments I guess. What a jerk!
Big Show d. David Otunga (-*)
Yep, I went into the negative stars for this one. Show’s arm was tied up, Mark Henry came out there and the match ended in a DQ. I fully admit to dozing off during this “match” or whatever you want to call it. Henry went after Show, but Daniel Bryan showed up and that allowed Show to get rid of Henry. You could tell Henry still has an injured groin. Why not take him off TV for a couple of weeks so that he can rest up? Give the Kool-Aid man a damn break! His heart don’t pump Kool-Aid ya know.
Speaking of Daniel Bryan, when do you think he’ll lose the World Heavyweight Title? Vote below!
When will Daniel Bryan lose the World Heavyweight Title?
They went to commercial again reminding us that Kane would answer John Cena later. They need to tell us this every 7 minutes apparently.
There was another waste of time segment. This time Alberto Del Rio was wheeled onto the stage in a wheelchair by Ricardo Rodriguez. He said he had a torn groin. That’s legit. He’s out about 4-6 weeks, so should be ready for the Rumble on January 29th. The Bellas came out, offered to throw a party when he’s able to walk again and then they argued about which one came up with the idea. He told them to leave. Then he said more evil things while making angry faces and saying that he’ll come back strong in 2012 and be more aggressive than before. I doubt he gets pushed to the WWE Title again in 2012. He did okay when he got the push, but it wasn’t that great.
Gauntlet Match #1: CM Punk d. Jack Swagger (*)
Nobody thought Swagger had a chance here, nor should they have. The crowd was getting behind Punk as Swagger got control, going after Punk’s ribs. Punk countered Swagger’s splash with his knees, won a sequence of counters and finished him with a strong kick to the head at the four minute mark. I would have loved to see the have a longer match. It’s a shame that Swagger is so low on the radar that they won’t give him more time in a match like this. I’d rather see him on Smackdown where he’d get more time.
After the match, Swagger attacked Punk’s leg while Dolph Ziggler made his way to the ring. Ref Scott Armstrong asked Punk if he was okay, he said yes and the match began…after the commercial.
Gauntlet Match #2: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler (**1/4)
They returned from break with Ziggler working over Punk’s leg. Punk came back and hit a kick to the head for a good nearfall. Ziggler ended up getting the momentum back when Vickie & Swagger came out to cause trouble. He hit the Fameasser for two. They don’t call it any name, but that’s what it used to be called Billy Gunn did it, or the Rocker Dropper when Marty Jannetty did it. The series of overbooked finishes continued here as Laurinaitis came down to ringside, kicked out Vickie & Swagger for causing a distraction and then he went up on the apron. Punk yelled at him to get down. While he did that, Ziggler hit the Zig Zag for the victory after 8 minutes. No need for Mark Henry, which makes sense since he has that groin injury. This match made me want to see them get 15 minutes next week, which is very possible.
The post match was great. Ziggler grabbed the WWE Title and ran around the ring with it as if he actually won it. He gets his WWE Title shot next week. It’s similar to the first Raw of this year when it was The Miz vs. John Morrison in a great match for the WWE Title. I’d expect them to get those 15 minutes this year and like I said earlier I think we’ll see a returning Chris Jericho after Punk retains the title.
They plugged a Falls Count Anywhere match between Randy Orton and Wade Barrett on Smackdown. I’d expect Orton to win while officially ending that feud.
The main event of the show was Kane walking out for his intro. He had on the grey mask, which he took off to reveal the red mask along with his fake hair. He said one line when John Cena’s music hit. Cena went to walk to the ring, but the pyro guy hit a button and he stayed where he was. Or Kane made the pyro go off. Believe what you want, marks. Okay fun time over. This is serious business because Cena has his SERIOUS~! face on. Kane basically did the same promo that Roddy Piper did on Cena a few weeks ago, wondering if the fans booing of him is getting to him. He said the world is a dark place, so maybe it’s time for Cena to embrace it. Basically, Kane attacked Cena to help him open up his eyes. The message was in this line: “Once you embrace the hate, you become honest with yourself.” Then Kane went into the “Cena Sucks” phrase, saying it a few times to start the chants. Yes, he’s an evil monster that starts chants of evil. That’s a hell of a gimmick. Eventually the dueling “let’s go Cena…Cena sucks” chants started up much to the delight of Kane apparently. The show ended with a closeup shot of Cena listening to the chants, then turning his head down a bit as they went off the air. I guess he’s sad now because another person pointed out that people don’t like him. I can’t wait for Dr. Phil to be the guest star to have a counseling session with Cena. That was sarcasm. Please don’t do that.
That was the end of the show? Weak ending. This should have been a mid-show promo. Instead, the last Raw of the year ends with John Cena pondering if he should embrace the hate instead of rising above it. I’m surprised they didn’t mention the “Cena Sucks” shirts here. That could be happening in the weeks ahead.
Three Stars of the Show
1. Dolph Ziggler – Very good match as always. The celebration with the WWE Title was hilarious too.
2. CM Punk – The usual greatness.
3. Booker T – I applaud the effort at his age. I just think it should have been booked to be a shorter match.
5 out of 10
Last week: 6.5
2011 High Score: 9.1 (March 28)
2011 Low Score: 3.5 (October 10)
2011 Average: 5.76
Last 5 Weeks: 6.5, 6, 6.5, 7.5, 7
The last Raw of the year gets a 5 this week, which is slightly below the 2011 average of 5.77. Some of the match finishes were pretty bad. I didn’t like the main event angle that much. John Cena doing the sad face isn’t a thrilling end to a show. It felt like a Christmas hangover show. The great Chicago crowd deserved a better show than this.
It’s interesting to note that in the past few weeks the ratings have been down a bit, so CM Punk wasn’t put in the top ratings drawing positions. Those spots are obviously the main event of the show as well as the top of the second hour. Both of them featured John Cena, who despite not being in the WWE Title picture is still the undisputed top guy. If the rating dips again they may blame Daniel Bryan just because he was on TV for 10 seconds. Way to put over the World Champ, guys.
On the positive side, at least they built up next week’s show quite well. I care about Punk vs. Ziggler for the WWE Title and the return of a big name, likely Chris Jericho. We might finally see Brodus Clay’s return too, so that’s interesting to some I guess.
How would you rate 12/26 Raw on the 1-10 scale?
To bring this column home it’s Twitter Ten time.
I asked you for questions and you responded to me @johnreport.
@kevtastic84 Jericho’s bitterness towards wrestling. Is it really worth him being so negative on twitter in a build up to return?
I think he’s just trying to get a rise out of people and shock them. He’s a performer. They thrive on that reaction.
@JustAndy59 Do you think Johnny Ace is eventually gonna get in a match soon?
It sure seems like that is an inevitability at this point.
@BigBeast300 Who was your favorite ECW star?
I would say Rob Van Dam. I don’t think he cares so much today, but in the late 90s (and early 2000s with WWE) he was an incredible athlete & talent.
@ThatAamirGuy Do you think wwe will create a new phenom/monster type character to replace taker once he retires?
I don’t think so. I would have done it though. Have some tall guy in his 20s and say he is his son. That kind of thing would be good.
@dashing_gunno who would you like to see fued with Ryder over the US title? Do you think they are using Ryder to get Cena over with the IWC?
I think Jack Swagger would be a good feud for him. Maybe Del Rio if he drops down the card a bit as I expect.
@buffjoey78 What are your top 5 WWF/E Tag Teams of all time?
That’s tough! I’d go with Edge & Christian, Hart Foundation, Hardy Boys, The Rockers & New Age Outlaws.
@Ben_Wright Do you think WWE will ever start using English wrestlers as faces and stop the same old Barrett/Regal heel persona?
They should, but Vince is old school in thinking that English wrestlers are heels most of the time.
@onewomanman23 Do you think Tyson Kidd can get a get a big push next year? He was featured on Raw today.
I’d like to see it. Don’t think it’s in the plans, but I could be wrong on that. He deserves the opportunity. He has the talent.
@IVO316 Do you think @mikethemiz over does his tanning lotion???
Haha I think he does although I don’t claim to be a tanning expert. He did look too orange on Raw this week.
@TheMikeBlundell Do you think WWE needs to start looking at investing in diva division or are you happy with it?
I’m not happy with it. Been writing it for years that they need more women that are actually wrestlers and less models. They need more talent.
Thanks for the questions as always.
I’m back on my regular schedule after having a crazy week. Canton’s Corner will be up on New Year’s Eve Saturday. Then in January I have a lot of things planned including a possible month long column like last year’s Royal Rumblefest. I’m still working out the kinks, but I will have a post about it in the new year I’m sure. Keep checking out thejohnreport.net every day for 3-4 new columns/reviews daily. We’re growing. Join us.
Thanks for reading.
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