Happy new year, jabronis…
What a vivacious start to 2010 within the wacky world of wrestling. Exciting times seem afoot, but it certainly isn’t good news for all. With TNA and WWE bringing back the likes of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Sean Waltman, Scott “How am I still alive?” Hall and the rest to our TV screens in recent days, many young guns in the business must already be filled with negative vibes pertaining to what 2010 holds for them. Sure, bringing back a big name or two may provide an initial ratings boost, but is this really the best way to nurture the business and prepare it for the future? You bet your bottom dollar it isn’t.
But hey, these aren’t fresh views, and I’m sure most of you guys and gals out there share the same opinion as me. Despite this dark swarm of vintage talent currently creeping back into the industry, rest assured that I will continue to do my small part and stand aloft shining my spotlight upon the rising talent trying to make a name for themselves in this bizarre business.
Today, ladies and jellyspoons, I directing my glare upon ECW big mouth Zack Ryder. And you know it.
Young Mr Ryder has the dubious honour of being part of what I consider to be the blandest tag team in WWE history. His partnership with Curt Hawkins could only have been less interesting had their entire combined arsenal consisted solely of chin locks.
Even though the pair were dropped into the “Rated R Entourage” stable with the multi-talented Edge, they failed to make any impact on Smackdown whatsoever, seemingly only being on the roster to be smashed by The Undertaker on a regular basis. Being embarrassed by The Dead Man each week was, however, deemed enough to earn the pair a run with the tag titles (heck, if you can climb into the ring without botching it you’re deemed worthy of a tag title in recent years), which, thankfully for the titles, lasted just a few weeks before the belts were passed to the charismatic Colon brothers.
From here, the duo seemed destined to be cut from the roster. I assumed they had drifted so far off the radar, that WWE.com couldn’t even be bothered to “wish them the best in future endeavours” such was their inactivity. Then, lo and behold, Ryder resurfaced on ECW on April of last year, dressed as some kind of mentally challenged transvestite. But, somewhat miraculously, the young stalwart has totally revived his career and has been a genuine source of entertainment on ECW television in recent months. Bravo.
As I mentioned in previous columns covering Mike Knox and Ezekiel – standing out from the crowd is so difficult yet so important to make an impact in the WWE. You can have all the wrestling talent in the world, but if you don’t have a gimmick, the fans are gonna reject you. It’s harsh and unfair, but, in this carnivalesque industry, that’s just the way it goes.
Upon debuting in ECW, Ryder started to punctuate his backstage promos with the stupid proclamation of “woo woo woo”. And I mean “stupid” in its purest form – because it’s ridiculously daft and it means nothing. But so what? Now the guy had a label and folk could remember who he was. Also, one must also take notice of his attire. His grotesque one-legged tights, homo-erotic netted cardigan and cheerleader-like headband, all drenched in a sea of trendy, surf colours serve only to heighten his individuality.
In saying this, however, I don’t want to undermine Ryder’s ability. Not any Joe Shmuck could don the same gear and utter the same catchphrase and pull it off. Ryder’s in-your-face swagger and cocky mic skills have forced the gimmick to work – and for that he should be duly applauded.
Christian and William Regal too deserve a hearty slap on the back for raising the worth of the young star, giving him the rub with stellar, lengthy bouts on ECW. Sure, it’s easy to say that the veterans carried the matches, but never forget that it takes two to tango. And tango they did. Also, unlike a plethora of green talent coming through the ranks, Ryder proved that he could comfortably wrestle a 15 minute match when required. How wonderfully refreshing.
Cheerfully, it seems WWE are ready to give Ryder a sustained push, with him being the one chosen to enforce the retirement of Tommy Dreamer. Being the absolute true pro that Dreamer is, I’m sure he himself insisted on putting over a younger star before he hit the road – but WWE could have easily wasted the rub on the likes of Ezekiel or Koslov. But thankfully they didn’t. Wow – a clever booking decision! Hooray!
Dreamer’s name will no doubt continue to be mentioned on ECW television in coming months as Ryder constantly reminds all that it was he who retired the legend – which is the way it should be. Now that the arrogant go-getter has something genuine to brag about, he can exaggerate the obnoxious nature of his character even more.
When Christian is finally given a spot back on RAW or Smackdown – where a star of his talents most certainly should be – Ryder must be the current favourite to be given a run with the ECW strap. Hell, if WWE is prepared to make the lumbersome Sheamus the top guy on RAW, then surely the more talented Ryder is deserved of a shot at heading ECW.
That’s if ECW continues to exist as a third brand… if rumours are true, the franchise could well be meeting its demise in the near future. I, for one, sincerely hope that isn’t true because without ECW it would be so easy for talents such as Ryder to get lost in the shuffle and never be given the chance to connect with fans. And that, dear readers, would sadden me so.
Woo, woo, and indeed, woo.
