WWE Monday Night RAW Report – July 27th, 2009

– Tonight’s WWE Monday Night RAW kicks off with Lilian Garcia introducing Jerry Lawler, who is in the ring. Lawler talks about our special guest host tonight and introduces Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq’s music and video plays as he comes out to the stage area. Shaq waves to the fans and makes his way down to the ring.



Shaq takes the mic and says hello to the fans. He says his new teammate Lebron James said to tell everyone hello and they boo. Shaq says it’s good that he’s hosting RAW tonight and says we will have a great time tonight. Lawler speaks and says he heard Shaq has some news on Randy Orton. Shaq announces a 5 Superstar Beat the Clock Challenge tonight to determine Randy Orton’s opponent for the WWE Title at SummerSlam. The 5 talents are Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and John Cena. Shaq gets the crowd pumped when Chris Jericho’s music hits and out comes one half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions in a suit.

Jericho comes out and looks up at Shaq, who is obviously much taller. Jericho says the most powerful duo in sports isn’t Lebron James and Shaq, it’s Chris Jericho and….. Shaq interrupts him and kisses him on the forehead. The fans get on Jericho now. Jericho says he and Shaq are going to have problems tonight. Shaq pushes him back with one finger and bends down in Jericho’s face. Jericho says he’s through talking to Shaq and is going to introduce his partner to Shaq. Out comes Big Show, also dressed in a suit.

Big Show comes out to the ring and gets face to face with Shaq, who isn’t intimidated. Show laughs and talks on the mic, saying Shaq can’t intimidate him. Big Show rags on Shaq taking free throws and tells him to do the smart thing, get out of his ring. Shaq calls Show a fat boy and talks about his new “Shaq vs.” reality show and insults Show some more. Shaq challenges Show to a match on RAW tonight. Show says if he hurts Shaq tonight, the entire NBA will come down on his neck. Show talks about crushing Lebron too. Show says he’s not going to wrestle Shaq, he won’t fight him. Jericho gets in between them and says he’s not going to fight Shaq either. Shaq addresses the crowd and calls them girls. Shaq said he hired two people who will fight them tonight and introduces Cryme Tyme, who come out to the stage area. Cryme Tyme rush the ring and stand side by side with Shaq. Jericho and Show back out of the ring. Shaq says he will be the special outside enforcer for tonight’s tag match. Shaq starts a “Christina” chant at Jericho again and gets the crowd hyped some more as we go to commercial.

Beat the Clock Match: Mark Henry vs. Carlito

Back from commercial and Mark Henry is making his way to the ring for the first Beat the Clock match tonight. Out next is his opponent, Carlito. Henry is the one trying to set the time for the Beat the Clock Challenge.

They start the match and Carlito goes to the corner and then out to the floor, wasting time on the clock. He comes back in, Henry charges and he stalls some more. Henry finally knocks Carlito down but he goes back to the floor. Carlito starts walking to the back but Henry grabs him and throws him back in the ring. Carlito kicks Henry off the apron and dives over the top rope to the floor. Henry catches Carlito in mid air and throws him back in the ring for a 2 count.

Carlito tries to fight back but Henry drops him for a 2 count. Carlito goes back to the floor but Henry works him over on the outside and brings him back in for another 2 count. Carlito tries a bunch of shots but can’t phase Henry. Henry knocks Carlito down with a shoulder and another 2 count at the 3 minute mark. Another pin attempt by Henry. Henry kicks Carlito in the head and gets another close 2 count. Henry goes for his big splash but Carlito moves out of the way. Carlito goes to work with kicks on Henry and a 2 count. Carlito goes to the apron.

Carlito takes control now and hits a big kick off the top rope for another 2 count. Carlito goes for a sleeper but Henry rams him back to the corner. Henry with a big head butt and another 2 count. Henry rams Carlito back in the corner again. Carlito comes off the ropes but Henry catches him in mid air. Carlito slides out and goes for a Backstabber but can’t hit it. Henry catches him off the ropes with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pinfall and the win at 6 minutes and 49 seconds.

Winner: Mark Henry

– Backstage we see Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly and new WWE Divas Champion Mickie James headed to the ring as we go back to commercial break.

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim vs. Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox and Rosa Mendez

Back from the break and some of the Washington Redskins are shown in the crowd. Out first is the team of Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly and WWE Divas Champion Mickie James. Already waiting in the ring is the team of Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez and Beth Phoenix. Lawler is alone on commentary for this one as Michael Cole is backstage for an interview with Shaq. Gail and Beth start the match off with some brawling.

Beth catches Gail and slams her from up high. Beth goes for another slam but Gail wraps herself around Beth. Rosa comes in and breaks it up. Beth takes control and works Gail over in the corner before tagging in Alicia. Alicia with a nasty back breaker and a 2 count on Gail. Alicia mounts Gail and slams her head into the mat. Alicia tags in Rosa who kicks at Gail in the corner and scoop slams her. Rosa with a 2 count. Rosa tags in Alicia as Gail is still in their corner. Gail fights Alicia off with kicks and tags in Mickie. Mickie unloads on Alicia with clotheslines. Mickie knocks Rosa and Beth off the apron. Alicia takes control for a minute. Mickie with a neckbreaker and a 2 count.

Mickie with a head scissors. Gail tags herself in while Mickie isn’t looking and comes off the top with a missile dropkick on Alicia for the pinfall and the win.

Winners: Mickie James, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly

– Michael Cole is backstage talking to Shaq in his office. Hornswoggle comes walking in and Shaq says they’re friends from high school. Shaq brings out the Enlyten strips he endorses. Hornswoggle tries to make a dunk on Shaq’s goal but fails. Michael says Oh my, that was Shaqalicious and tries to give Shaq some love. Shaq just chuckles and walks off. We go to commercial.

Beat the Clock Match: MVP vs. Chris Masters

Out first for the next Beat the Clock match is MVP. He must beat Mark Henry’s time of 6 minutes and 49 seconds. Out next is his opponent, the returning “Masterpiece” Chris Masters!

The match starts and MVP goes for an early pin attempt. Masters wears him down with forearm shots. MVP runs into a big boot in the corner and goes for the Masterlock. MVP counters with a 2 count. Masters with a big clothesline and some stomps. Masters with a suplex and a 2 count. More right hands from Masters. They trade shots now but Masters comes off the ropes with a roll-up attempt. MVP stops it and hits a clothesline for a 2 count. MVP with another pin attempt.

Masters goes for the Masterlock again but MVP counters with another pin attempt. Forearm shots to the back from Masters. They collide in the corner. MVP comes off the top and ends up clotheslining Masters off the ropes. Another 2 count by MVP. And another. MVP gets dumped over the top rope to the floor. Masters comes out after him and works him over. MVP fights back and finally makes it to the apron. MVP pulls him back to the floor and locks on the Masterlock as the referee counts them out. Both men are counted out as Masters has his hold tight.

Winner: Double Countout

The Brian Kendrick vs. Kofi Kingston

Back from the break and The Brian Kendrick is in the ring waiting. Out comes his opponent, the WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston. Kendrick takes a mic and addresses Jerry Lawler about what happened last week. Kendrick says once he’s done beating Kofi, he’s coming after Lawler tonight. Kendrick turns around to a Trouble in Paradise from Kofi. Kofi covers Kendrick for the quick squash.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

– We get ready for a commercial when we see Ted DiBiase attack Triple H backstage. DiBiase nails Triple H in the knee with what looks like a pole and wishes him good luck in his match tonight. Triple H staggers to his feet as we go to break.

Beat the Clock Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H

Back from commercial and Cody Rhodes is out first for the next Beat the Clock match. Triple H is out next and he must beat Mark Henry’s time of 6 minutes and 49 seconds to stay in line for the WWE Title shot. Triple H comes out limping down the stage and he looks pissed.

The bell rings and Triple H is favoring the leg. Cody goes for the leg but Triple H fights him off and knocks him back. Triple H with big right hands and a headlock take down. Triple H runs the ropes and hits the high knee. Another headlock take down by Triple H. Cody runs into Triple H in the corner and works on the leg. Cody goes to the outside and slams the leg into the ring post.

They go back in the ring and Cody works on the leg some more. Triple H fights back for a minute but Cody takes him back down and goes for the leg with more stomps. Cody bends the leg over the back of his own head. Cody with a 1 count. Cody takes Triple H back down with more holds on the leg. Triple H breaks it with kicks to the head. Cody dropkicks the leg and Triple H goes back down. Cody with a 2 count.

Triple H catches Cody off the top and goes for a Pedigree. Cody stops it by taking the knee out. Cody locks on the Figure Four but Triple H reverses it. Triple H kicks Cody into the ring post with 1 minute 10 seconds left. Triple H with a big clothesline. Triple H with right hands but Cody fights back. Spinebuster by Triple H. Ted DiBiase comes down and begs Triple H to pnuch him. He doesn’t but he does throw Cody into Ted. Ted hits the floor. Triple H hits the Pedigree on Cody with one second left and doesn’t get the pin in time. Cody and Ted retreat up the ramp as Triple H argues with the referee. Lilian announces that Triple H fails to beat Mark Henry’s time.

– We go backstage where Shaq and Santino Marella are playing Scrabble. Shaq spells Shaqzilla it looks like and Santino says something fishy is going on, Shaq isn’t a real word. Cryme Tyme come walking in. They say they’re ready to go for tonight. Shaq tells them to do what they have to do. Cryme Tyme does their Money, Money… shtick with Shaq. Santino turns his hat to the side and starts trying to rap about Shaq. Santino raps until they tell him to walk the other way. Cryme Tyme walk off and Shaq sits back down to Scrabble. He says even Vince McMahon can’t beat him at this game.

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back from the commercial and Hornswoggle makes his way to the ring. Chavo Guerrero is out next. Lilian Garcia announces that Shaq has ordered Chavo to compete blindfolded in this match. The referee pulls out the bag and orders it over Chavo’s head. The bell rings and here we go.

Chavo gets knocked through the ropes to the floor first thing. Chavo tries to get some moves in but runs into the turnbuckle and goes down. Hornswoggle gets some shots in while he’s down. Chavo grabs Hornswoggle but gets drug around. Chavo spears the referee and starts attacking him before realizing. Hornswoggle goes for a quick roll-up. Another move and a 2 count by Hornswoggle. Chavo raises his mask behind the ref’s back and dropkicks Hornswoggle. Chavo feels around and finds the ropes. He goes to the corner and is still reaching for something, looks like he’s measuring for the frog splash. He climbs to the top but Hornswoggle gets up and stands on the apron. Chavo goes for the frog splash from up top but nobody is there. He goes down and Hornswoggle goes to the top. He hits the tadpole splash for the pinfall and the win.

Winner: Hornswoggle

– Randy Orton and Jack Swagger are backstage. Orton asks if he’s supposed to be scared. Swagger says he is better, younger and faster, so yeah, he should be scared. Swagger walks off and Mark Henry walks in. Henry comes face to face with Orton until the WWE Champion walks off. Back to commercial.

Beat the Clock Match: Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

Jack Swagger is out first and must beat Mark Henry’s time. His opponent Evan Bourne is out next with new theme music. The bell rings and they go back and forth, going to the mat. Swagger tosses Bourne but he lands on his feet and dropkicks Swagger a few times to the mat. Borne with a hurracanrana. Swagger catches Bourne and slams him on his head for a 2 count.

Swagger with another pin attempt and two more nice suplexes and 2 counts. Bourne counters and drops Swagger in the corner. Swagger is down as Bourne goes to the top. Swagger gets up and launches Bourne across the ring. Swagger drops Bourne again for another 2 count. And another 2 count. Swagger goes for the gutwrench powerbomb but Bourne turns it into a small package for the pinfall and the win.

Winner: Evan Bourne

– Backstage, Josh Matthews is with Triple H. The Game’s leg is iced and bandaged up. Josh talks about the actions of Legacy this week. Triple H says he is mad at himself because this whole time he has been focusing on Randy Orton. He says without Rhodes and DiBiase, Orton is the same punk he’s always been and compares them to the tail on a dog. He tells Rhodes and DiBiase, he’s done playing games and challenges them to a Handicap match on next week’s RAW.

Cena clotheslines Miz on the floor after he goes back out. Back in the ring, Cena goes for the STF but can’t get it on. Miz counters a move and throws Cena into the ringpost and drops him with a big backdrop. 2 count by Miz. Miz drops Cena on his face and throws him through the ropes to the floor. Miz throws Cena into the steel steps now. The ref starts counting Cena out and he makes it back in at 9. Miz ties Cena’s arms up in the ropes and punches him. Cena tries to kick as Miz taunts him.

Beat the Clock Match: The Miz vs. John Cena

The Miz comes out with a microphone and says he is a Cleveland Cavaliers fan and talks about Shaq. Miz rips the Washington Wizards and Redskins. Miz talks about beating the clock tonight and causing Cena to lose. Miz says he is awesome as we go back to commercial.

Back from the break and the WWE Champion Randy Orton is coming out. Orton takes a seat at ringside to watch this next match. Out next is John Cena, with a time to beat of 6 minutes and 49 seconds held by Mark Henry. Cena charges first and Miz ducks him. Miz goes out to the floor and to the ramp area. Miz realizes he’s about to be counted out and comes back in. Cena unloads on him from corner to corner. Cena with a small package for a 2 count.

Cena finally gets out and locks on the STF to make The Miz tap out before the clock ran out. John Cena is going to SummerSlam.

Winner: John Cena

– After the match, Cena turns around and Randy Orton is standing in the ring. Orton holds up his WWE Title as Cena’s music hits. Cena and Orton stare each other down. We see Shaq headed to the ring as we go back to commercial.

Chris Jericho and Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Back from the break and tonight’s special guest host and ringside enforcer for this match, Shaq, comes out to the ring. There’s really no reaction at all for Shaq, almost silence. Out next is one-half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho. His partner Big Show is out next followed by their opponents Cryme Tyme.

It’s going to be JTG and Jericho starting the match. They lock up and Jericho applies a headlock and goes to one knee. JTG takes control after a minute. JTG drops Jericho face first out of the corner and gets the first 2 count of the match. Jericho hits a big right hand. Jericho throws JTG into Big Show’s boot and in he comes. Show with big body blows on JTG, knocking him to the mat. Show with a massive headlock on JTG now.

Show with a full nelson on JTG right in front of Shaq. Show throws JTG to the side and stares Shaq down. JTG comes off the ropes but Show spears him. JTG rolls to the floor. Show grabs him and pulls him over the ropes and hits him with a big chop to bring JTG back in the ring. Show tosses JTG around some more and tags in Jericho. Jericho taunts Shaq. JTG tries to tag but Jericho won’t let him. Jericho with a spine buster and a 2 count. Jericho with a headlock now on JTG. Shaq helps them make the tag and in comes Shad Gaspard. Shad goes to work on Jericho and lifts him up high before dropping him. Shad with a big elbow drop. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho on Shad. Shaq causes interference. Shad grabs Jericho but he slides out. JTG is tagged in and comes off the second rope with a double team blockbuster. 2 count on Jericho. Big Show comes in and makes the save, cleaning house on Cryme Tyme. The referee calls for the bell.

Winners by DQ: Cryme Tyme

– After the match, Big Show grabs both Shad and JTG for a double chokeslam while laughing at Shaq. He drops them and Shaq comes in the ring face to face. Show shoves Shaq and he pushes back harder. Show grabs Shaq by his throat. Shaq responds by grabbing Show by his throat. They try to over power each other. Cryme Tyme come in and kick Show. Shaq knocks Show down and to the outside. Show regroups with Jericho as Shaq and Cryme Tyme raise their hands in the ring. We get more replays. Shaq and Cryme Tyme are still celebrating until Shaq hits the ramp and starts running toward the stage were Show and Jericho are. RAW goes off the air.

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